the one on our anniversary

He who finds a wife, finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord
   ~ Proverbs 18:22

Remembering our anniversary is as easy as 1.23...

Soo has survived 2 years of being married to me... she deserves a medal...

So today, of course, i am thankful for...

1. i found a wife... God has shown me favor

2. Soo. she is not just a wife, she is my friend & lover. Many daughters have done well, but she excels them all. Not any woman would do, God prepared Soo especially for me

3. The privilege & honor to be a husband. Of all the millions of men in the world, God chose me to be Soo's husband - to serve & love her - of which i do a horrible job

4. For 2 years with Soo.
    They haven't all been fun moments. There have been conflicts & tears. There have been misunderstandings and frustrations. i wouldn't trade a moment (Though at points i want a redo).

5. Soo's patience, grace & forgiveness

6. A wonderful wedding with wonderful friends, a great photographer and good weather... even if the catering was awful - at least we got a taco truck

7. An amazing honeymoon in Prague & Paris

8. God's gift & design of marriage

9. for all the relationships that didn't work out before Soo

10. That God is with us in marriage, leading us and taking care of us

11. That God is using marriage to refine us, show us sin and make us more like Christ

12. For the love Christ has for the church, which is so much greater than i have for my wife

Thank You Lord for Soo, for our marriage, for this family.
You are good

The one during a fireworks show

the 4th of July has nothing on new year's eve... 4th of July = LAME.
In fact, take all of the the 4th of July show's in the states together and it was about as good as what i saw tonight... and what i saw tonight was nothing compared to three years ago... which i am thankful for... Halle didn't wake up, but the dog is scared (there is a phrase that would be perfect here).

Today i am thankful for...

1. KFC & the KFC bucket
- there is just something fun about going to KFC in a foreign country on a holiday... and it tastes good!

2. That Halle slept thru this ridiculous amount of noise tonight. We are quite blessed to have a little girl who sleeps thru the night. She doesn't cry when she falls  - i mean sometimes - but she is amazing. God is amazing to us!

3. Hats & coats & gloves & flannel pants... because it was freezing even with it on. When i took it off my glove for a minute to take a photo i thought i was going to get frostbite... Thank God for warm clothes & protective layers!

4. fireworks.... but i'm not so crazy about firecrackers, which are just loud & annoying. The fireworks are kinda annoying too.

5. My wife. It is technically the 23rd, which means it is our 2 year anniversary!
i thank God for two wonderful years with Soo!
There have been hard times and rough moments. i wouldn't trade a single one.
i thank God for my wife, for the demonstration of His love & kindness. And the gift of marriage.

The whole city is celebrating by throwing a fantastic fireworks show!

Thanks!

Today i am thankful for... (Jan 21)

Today i am thankful for...

1. Chocolate chip cookies
2. cold milk

i mean is there a better combination? ever?
Batman & Robin? Blake Griffin & Chris Paul? Deniro & Pacino? Stiller & Owen Wilson? Montana & Rice?

i take cookies & milk all the way!

the one that is a post

Today i am thankful for...

1. The Greenhouse Cinnamon rolls - they are so good
2. That the Greenhouse Cinnamon rolls are back after they tinkered with the recipe 2 months ago - why change something that tastes good and make it taste bad?
3. time in the Word.

YEah, not much happened today.

the one after a hard day

Today was an awful day. It started out good, and ended ok, but the middle was just awful- even after reading Proverbs 19 and submitted my plans... awful.

Still, i am thankful for...

1. My friend Ken
We talked this morning briefly... well what felt brief... i feel we could talk a few hours and scracth the surface.
Ken was my best man.
The ironic thing is we didn't really become friends until i left the country... well my last year in the states we started hanging out, the next year talked a bit, the 2nd year began talking all the time.
i am thankful for a good friend who pursues me and cares about me, talks about God, loves the Gospel and can laugh with a whole lot - and can relate so well. Thank God for such a good friend

2. My wife
It's not new to the list, but i am thankful for Soo. She is the most important thing in the world to me. Proverbs 18:22 says he who finds a wife, finds a good thing - and that's true. Thank God for my wife.

3. pizza - again... perfect pizza tonight, and it helps after a rough day.

The thing about plans ( a devo on Proverbs 19:21)

Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in the mind of a man,

but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

I normally think of this verse when I think of wickedness. People with wicked plans will fail. We can trust God to be in control. Hitler failed, Stalin failed, God prevails!

But now I am seeing this in light of me.

I have many plans, some seems good, most… perhaps all certainly are not evil or bad. Yet, many plans don’t come to pass.

But the purpose of the Lord always comes to pass.

His will can not be thwarted.

He knows His ways, He fulfills them.

He knows what is best – best for His purposes- and that is what matters.

Not my purposes, His purposes.

Not my plans, His purposes.

So when I have a simple plan of reading my bible and someone calls and wants to talk… I have to admit this is His plan and accept it.

When I think I will get some time to work and my wife is not feeling well and I need to take care of her and the kids, this is from God.

When I plan to meet some friends and I am stuck in traffic, I must take this from God too.

And then there are big things...

You may have plans to be a mom or a dad or you may have a plan to get married. There is certainly nothing wrong with that, in fact it is a good thing. But God fulfills His purposes.

You may have had a plan to go into missions, but God didn’t provide the support. His purposes stand.

Can there be comfort in that?
(this is not something i may say to someone in the midst of suffering).

Nothing is out of God’s control.

Everything is in His hands.

He brings his purposes to pass.

We don’t understand, but God does.

It may seem like nothing is working out right, but in fact everything is working out perfectly.

We don’t like it often… but the thing is, we don’t like it because we have elevated our plans above His purposes.

We have to daily submit our plans to the Lord. HE is the King, we are not.

This is not to say He is unkind or merciless. This is not to say we can not beseech God or make requests. It is not even to say we cannot have plans.

But we need to submit our plans.

In fact, we should plan, we should have dreams & desires – but all need to be submitted to Him.

In the Bible, the disciples had plans to rule the government, to make all nations bow down, to rule. Jesus had different purposes. His purpose was to build the church and establish His kingdom in all nations, not one nation, and thru changed hearts and changed lives.

The disciples had plans to rule the world, Jesus had a purpose to save & change the world.

Joseph’s brothers had plans to harm him, God had purpose to use him.

Paul had plans to destroy Christianity, God had purpose to expand Christianity.

Paul had plans to go to Rome to spread the Gospel in Rome, God had purpose for Paul to write to bless the church for ages to come.

Abraham had plans to bear offspring, God had purpose to bless Abraham and the nations thru His work

Satan had plans to defeat Jesus, God had purpose to defeat sin & death

As for me, I may have a plan that I think will best serve God, serve my family & serve me… but I need to submit to the Lord.

I may have a plan to take my wife out on a date somewhere nice, but if she would rather do something else, I need to submit to her.

I may have a plan to read a book with my wife to develop our marriage, but if it doesn’t help us, then I need to submit that plan

Why?

Well, what was the purpose of the plan? The purpose of my plans in this case are to serve & love my wife and to develop our marriage.

But if it is not accomplishing that, then I need to submit.

In all things, our plans should be for the glory of God.

If God has a different desire, we need to submit.

Perhaps I have a plan to share the Gospel with someone. But then my wife and daughter need some help that is urgent. Could it be that God wants me to honor Him by loving my wife?

Perhaps I have a plan to go to a coffee shop and get some quality time reading God’s word – but then someone comes in and we talk for a long time. Could it be that God wanted to use me in that person’s life and thus honor Him?

I am not saying we submit to circumstances.

However, I do believe we need to submit to God.

I find myself getting very upset and very frustrated when my plans are frustrated.

My plans have become an idol.

I am so set on accomplishing my plans, I forgot why I had made the plans in the first place.

I plan to use time productively & wisely for the glory of God.

I plan so I may be a good steward of what God has given me.

Planning is good.

But when a good thing becomes an ultimate thing it becomes a bad thing.

In the end, God’s purposes prevail. And since His purposes are perfect and best- that is a good thing, and we can take comfort in that.

The Good News is: God’s purposes are good, and God’s purposes prevail. We do not need fear or worry in this life, but grow in faith and see His goodness & grace.

Lord, help me in my planning.

May I not plan for my own sake, just what I desire.

But may I make plans with the glory of God in mind.

May I plan for Your honor, not my own.

Lead & guide my plans and give me wisdom in planning.

And then Lord, I submit my plans to You.

May my plans never become ultimate.

May I hold onto plans loosely, always walking with You, waiting on You and looking at You for how You may want to work.

Thank You for being in control.

And Thank You for always making Your good purposes come to pass.

Thank You that You are wise and You are good and You are perfect and You are sovereign. Thank You for Your purposes.

And thank You that You don’t allow the world to run according to my plans.

Have Your way oh Lord in this world and in my life.

Be glorified. Exalt Your Glory, Fulfill Your purposes. May You have first place always.

I submit my plans and hopes and desires to You. Be glorified.

Amen

the one after i started packing

Well, i started packing today...

The other day i went thru clothes and sorted out what i would take, what i would leave behind and what i might take. i made a list of all the stuff we needed to take back and tried to guess how much they would weigh and used an excel file to sort different bags.

And now we start packing... i want to space it out so i don't throw my back out.
We don't leave for 2 months, but we don't have much else to do right now, and the move is going to be a long process.

Today i a thankful for...
1. All God has provided
- man i accumulate a lot of stuff! Much was free. A lot of gifts and a lot of stuff left behind from others. And a lot of things have lasted a long time. i may not make a lot money, but God has certainly provided

2. a good back massage.
Soo gave me a nice massage with her elbow. i barely did any packing and my back was already hurting

3. Tullian Tchividjian
his sermons are really good

My boring life

i was looking at some old blogs at my old xanga.

The posts were funny or interesting or deep... and got lots of comments.

Now the posts are... just kinda boring.

And i think so is my life.

i got old.
i'm no longer in that stage of wondering what is next. Will i ever get married? Who will i marry? Where will i live? What about this?
No, things kinda just go.
Things aren't new or thought-provoking.
i just go about life each day.
Sure, sometimes i listen to a sermon with an interesting quote. And sometimes i read a good book that provoke me or challenges me. And i certainly can read a verse in the Bible i like.
And there are some fun moments in life, some laughter, some funny things.
But it just seems like life goes by.

i wake up, take care of the baby, pray with my wife, read the Bible, try to do some work, spend time with the family, maybe call a friend, watch a movie, check espn and steal some quiet moments in the bathroom reading a book and i go to bed again.

i want a more exciting life.
i need to take some more steps of faith.

Today i am thankful for...
1. Snow... it makes things a mess and traffic slow... but what a creative invention by God. It is fun and beautiful and cool
2. a flexible schedule... though it sometimes drives me crazy, it is a great blessing
3. a hot shower

We'll see what the next day brings

the one with an old friend

This afternoon was rough. We had a long conversation with our landlord that didn't go over too well.

But God was good to us, and allowed us to connect with an old friend, and it was so encouraging

Today i am thankful for...

1. To be able to see my old friend after 2 years
2. To be able to call this guy friend
3. for his encouaging words & affirmation to me tonight
4. for his faith in Christ & love for others and hope in God
5. God's faithfulness in drawing all nations to Himself (this friend is one of maybe 10 in his people group to believe in Jesus).
6. That God has given him a burden for his people
7. That God has gifted him & equipped him to take the Gospel to his people
8. That God has faithfully provided a girlfriend - from the same people group, also a christian
9. That there are people in this city who really do care for us & love us
10. for our other friend who tried to help us in communicating with our landlord
11. for all those who have been translators for us
12. for my friendship with this other guy also
13. And his faith
14. God's timing
15. that we can trust God even when things don't go as we hope or expect


God is good.
God is faithful.
God is working.
God is worthy.

The thing about Jesus and religion

This week a link for a video titled "Why I hate religion but love Jesus" surfaced on my facebook... and everyday another 2-3 people would recommend it.

i never watched it.

Slowly i started seeing other people posting comments about it... that maybe this isn't such a good thing.

Adam wrote this 

"This guy has a lot of good things to say, but we need to be extremely careful placing Jesus and religion on opposite spectrums. Jesus did not come to destroy religion, He came to fulfill the law and in so doing confront many of the religiOUS of His time. But James 1:26-27 makes it clear what pure religion is verses worthless religion. The Bible seems to direct us to preserve and redeem religion and keep it from becoming worthless. Which a the root of it is the intent of this poem, I just wish religion was clarified rather than villainized."

i had to agree. (And i think he said much better than me). The reason i hadn't watched it is i am tired of the religion bashing.

i understand Jesus saves, religion doesn't.

And i understand Jesus > religion.

But does this mean i hate religion? 

i kinda think it is like saying i hate soft drinks (pop) but i love cherry coke.

Keving DeYoung looks at the poem verse by verse and gives his thoughts in a post entitled

Does Jesus hate religion? Kinda, Sorta, Not really

You probably should read it.

But here are my thoughts.

i love Jesus. And i don't have a big problem with religion, though sometimes it can be a problem.

Back in College i had a shirt from a conference that said 0% religion 100% Relationship.

i don't think i realized it said that. But when my roommate asked about it, i was quick to give an answer.

i kinda liked it, because i wanted to affirm following Christ is not about religious activities but knowing Jesus.

And i wouldn't stray from that stance. Jesus is all about us knowing the Father and not so much about what we do.

Another friend in college once said "I'm not religious like you"

To which i responded "I'm not religious"

Which did lead to good conversation.

Today, i would like to clarify that comment

If when you say religious you mean

  you are more spiritual than I am... then i'd have to disagree...

     There is nothing special about me. i am not that good of a person. i sin. A lot. i need a Savior

If you mean, you are more devoted and committed to faith

   To a degree that may be true, but it's not because i am religious, it's because i am loved!... and in love!

If you mean i am more moralistic...

   i might hope that is true, but as i said above - i am a sinful person. But if i do have morals that looks different than the rest of the world, It's not because i am religious, it's because i have been changed!

But i don't want to say religion is bad.

IT can be i suppose.

i listened to a sermon by Tullian Tchividjian the other day where he said Moralism is very bad. Morality is very good! He wanted to be clear at this point.

He went on further to say. Whenever we take a good thing (like morality in this case) and make it an ultimate thing, we make a very good thing, a very bad thing.

Religion in itself is not bad, but some people have exalted it too high and made it bad.

Jesus is ultimate, not Religion.

But Religion didn't cause wars... people did.

It is not religions fault that someone doesn't experience grace, it is a person's fault.

It is not religions fault that poor people are hungry, it is the choices of people to not give.

i think it is trendy these days to bash on religion, bash on churches, and avoid personal responsibility and fit into American culture. 

And distance self, rather than confess sin.

You know, i don't think this is new. The Author of the book of Hebrews encouraged the believers to continue to meet together, instead of forsaking. Encouraging instead of cutting down. (Hebrews 10:25)

Let's Love Jesus & Love others too.

Let's walk with Jesus as individuals and grow together as a community & church.

 

Today i am thankful for... (Jan 15)

Today i am thankful for...

1. pizza... love it!
2. pepperoni... and that we can bring it here from America
3. podcasts... we may not be able to go to a church, but we can get good teaching
4. Tullian Tjucicihdiddj... i don't know how to spell or pronounce his name, but he is an excellent teacher
5. that God appoints some to be teachers... and equips & gifts them to teach the Word
6. The Gospel. The only antidote for sin.
7. Halle's sweet boisterous laugh

Halle was laughing since the wee hours of the morning. She loves being chased and loves to laugh. Her smile is so sweet. And there is no better sound than the sound of her laugh.

The one with things i can take for granted

Most of these days as i have been writing things i am thankful for there has been some theme... but today was just a day.
i did get to go out for a while and sit and plan... and i came home to my wife and daughter and had dinner.... and i talked with a friend over skype tonight.

An average day... which still produces a lot to be thankful for

Today i am thankful for...

1. The Greenhouse
     it's the closest we have to Starbucks... my 2nd year here (5 years ago) we went to another city and wondered what it would be like to have a place where we can get drinks, and eat good desserts and chill... we have that place now.
   It was fun today as 4 americans sat in the place and swore and talked about relationships (i thought all foreigners here were Christian, but i don't think these folks were).

2. Hulu
   We watched Parenthood tonight. And yes, sometimes a 45 minute episode takes over 2 hours to watch... but i am so thankful we have hulu. When i came here a few years ago there was nothing- so i bought like all my favorite shows on dvd... i remember way before that coming to East Asia then going back to america and having no idea what people were talking about - b/c they would be quoting lnes from tv shows or commercials... now we can watch it

3. The internet & A VPN
   When i first came to Asia 12 years ago we couldn't do anything online - even send an email with any spiritual content.
How things have changed

4. Skype
   Yes sometimes it is fuzzy. And people can't call me.
   But we are so blessed to have skype to call friends. In fact, our parents can see Halle over the phone.
   It's the one thing BAck to the Future got right.

5. my friend Brent - who i talked to on the phone tonight
   We met in Turkey 11 years ago... later stood in each others weddings, and still friends

6. warm clothes
   It snowed last night... still my flannel pants and my down coat keep me extremely warm

7. daily food
  i give thanks for it every day... i guess i can post about it.

8. An import store
   It is amazing all the stuff we can get here now! Sure, we have to pay $6 for a box of cereal, but so what?

9. our puppy
   We hope we can get her back to the states this time around. Have i listed her yet? We love our puppy

10. my family i can come home to

11. a house helper who comes and washes dishes and helps keep our house clean

12. Thank God for all the little things He takes care of each day and watches over each day. Thank You for all your provide. It is all from your hand. You bless so much.

Thanks God!

the thing about Jan 13

It has been 16 years...
it doesn't seem that long ago.

To be honest i don't want to think about it...

16 years ago was when my sister died due to cancer.
It was MLK weekend. i wasn't even home.
And i remember every detail.
i won't forget.

I don’t think of her often really, but I am thankful for her.

i have pictures of her up... it's kinda like we're just in different places ( i mean i am far from my family & friends and barely see them anyway)... but not really

As I think of Halle growing up and wrote Halle a note yesterday, I wish that Liz was here- that Halle would know her aunt. That Liz could have met her. That they would be able to receive love from one another… it is sad.

i love my sister. She impacted my life. We did give Halle Elizabeth her name as a middle name so she would know her aunt.

It still can be sad... 

But I am thankful for…
1. The years I got to spend with my sister – who loved me dearly
2.     That she is in heaven now, because Jesus loved her and God chose her an she trusted in Jesus
3.     The influence my sister had on me & others because of her faith – especially in midst of trials
4.     The influence my sister had on me & others because of her love & Service & life
5.     The influence my sister’s death had on me & others to live for eternal

I didn’t appreciate my sister very much while she was alive.

She was not perfect, but she was great.

She loved me, cared about me and was patient.

She gave her heart to others and sacrificed for them – especially me.

She had incredible faith in the Lord, wanting to serve her and love others. And especially in the midst of her cancer- she was still thinking of others, she still trusted God.

I am thankful…
6.     God is sovereign over death (and life)
7.     God uses all things to work good
8.     For Heaven, being with God & other loved ones( you know that friends are friends forever if the Lord is the Lord of them)
9.     Everything Liz’s cancer taught my family & I about our relationship with God, prayer, etc
10. That Liz loved me despite how selfish I was, how little I appreciated her, no matter how much I must have hurt her. She loved me.

Well… I hope she can see her niece… and hope she knows how much I love her and appreciate her now… and I look forward to seeing her again.

I really don’t want to think about it too much because it makes me sad… but I want to think of the hope, of her faith – and think she must be enjoying God right now… and that makes me glad.

Thank You lord for Liz, and for the real life she is now enjoying. Amen.

the one with a boy

It is confirmed

We're Having a Boy!!!!!

21 weeks... he'll be here so soon! i think he may be more introverted than his sister, but we'll see...

We have been calling him Josiah... though other names are still in the mix.

i wrote him a note tonight, but i referred to him as son...

i would really like to write my kids notes, every year, maybe every month... and give it to them when they turn 18 or 22 or something... i wrote Halle a note tonight too, which i think is only the 2nd note i have written her... but i think i can find some old journal entries too...

i love my kids.
i love my son though i haven't met him yet.
i will love my kids even though they will frustrate me.

And though sometimes i want to do my own thing, and feel out of energy or don't know what to do... i delight in my daughter and i will in my son too.


Today, i am thankful for...
1. My son! - what a blessing! An Arrow in my Quiver
2. That God would let me have a son while i am still kinda young so i can play sports or whatever with him later
3. The privilege & opportunity to be a male role model to my son
4. That he is growing and is healthy
5. i am still thankful for my daughter Halle too

the one with the last meeting

Today i led my last meeting here... well, kinda... but for the most part yes.

i enjoyed my role as a leader here. But it was certainly tiresome sometimes.
i do feel like God used me here and shaped me for the role.
He brought me thru certain experiences and my background helped so i could shepherd a team well and guide us.
In some ways i excelled at the job.
But i am ready for a change.
i'm not really a natural leader. God used me- which shows His power.

Looking back on the year there was a lot to be thankful for too.

Today, i am thankful for...
1. Not having to lead a team anymore
2. no more classes in the morning
3. The opportunity to lead
4. How God taught me thru leading
5. Learning how to resolve conflicts
6. Our Team
7. God's faithfulness towards our faith goals
8. God working despite having less staff, and distracted staff
9. 37 New believers (more decisions in one semester than all of last year).
10. Young students with passion & vision, beginning to multiply themselves and a new servant Team
11. Changed lives
12. God using students we didn't expect


i'm sure the next stage will carry new responsibilities that will be overwhelming sometimes.
And i suppose there could be worse things than class in the morning - but i am sure glad to not have them anymore... and here's hoping Halle continues sleeping in until 8...

the one with a lot of birthdays

It seems like everyone has a birthday in January... Soo, my mom... wait, does anyone else matter?

Birthdays come in bunches here in East Asia it seems.
My first year 4 of the 6 birthdays were: Sept, 19, 26,28 & Oct 9
The next year Sep 19,26 & Oct 10

One year we had 4 birthdays  in a week in April
And now from my bday on Sep 26 to Oct 26... there are 6 birthdays...

January has been pretty crazy, with 6 people celebrating birthdays in the first ten days.

So...

Today i am thankful for...

1. Jeanne Thompson (born Jan 1)...
    rare collection of fun & deep, always asks good questions, loves the Gospel and loves God
2. Stevie Shale (born Jan 2)
    Quite possibly the most random person i've ever met. You just never know what to expect... and even expecting that, you're still surprised
3. Stephanie Schumacher (born Jan 10)
    cheerful, passionate, fun, real, encouraging. Made our teams awesome.

Thankful for friendships with these three. Thankful to be on teams with them. Thankful for their faith.
We hope we'll see you again soon!

the one with a trip to the hospital

Trips to the hospital are not much fun here. It is kind of like when you have to go to the emergency room in  America, except much worse, and many more people.

We usually leave quite annoyed and extremely tired.

The worst is when people are smoking inside the hospital.
Last pregnancy, Soo had to spend 2 nights in the hospital. She stayed in a room with 7 other patients and their families (yes, i stayed the night too). Most of the other patients were having babies.
There was one public bathroom for that room and another. No one cleaned it. And toilet paper didn't flush.
The pile of bloody & poop-stained paper was taller than me.

Outside of the room with all the expecting mothers, the father were smoking. Some would try to hide in the stairwell, others didn't care at all. i came out and gave a glare and they would put out their cigarette.

Soo on the otherhand doesn't always receive that support.
Most people are pretty good about it when we're at restaurants or in a taxi - but somehow at the hospital, no one cares.


Anyway, it is mostly a waiting game...

·       we have to get there at least an hour 15 minutes before the doctor arrives to register… Everyone shows up at 1:15… some go at 12:30 to make sure they are first in line (though honestly I don’t know if being first is all it is cracked up to be). I think if you get there by 1 you’re ok.. if you get there at 1:15 you could be 1^st or you could be 12^th …

·      Once in line, we have to battle all the people who try to crowd you and cut in front of you… 

·      Then we wait again… then have to run all over the hospital and wait again…

·      Then after all the tests are done… we waited again…

·      People are walking around with open containers of urine

·      The place is crowded

·      And it FREEZING

Still, i am thankful

Today i am thankful for

1. foreign doctors who come to serve God by serving others

    for all our trouble, i can't imagine all the stress and difficulties they deal with

2. not only for qualified doctors, but doctors who speak english and are quite helpful

3. We know where to go now. A few years ago we never knew which hospital to go to. We never knew who to trust, now we know

4. God takes care of us. No matter what health we may be in, God is in control. And He has given us good health

5. After our trip, though frustrating, we know Soo is healthy and the baby looks good too

6. friends who help us by watching Halle so she doesn't have to go or Soo doesn't have to go by herself

7. Doctors & hospitals in general. God has equipped people & given wisdom so we can experience healthier lives.

i hope in the midst of frustration, we don't lose sight of God

the one on Soo's birthday 2012

1-8 Soo's birthday.

Today i am thankful for... Soo of course!

i thank God...

1. Soo's smile

2. Soo's kindness

3. Soo is gracious

4. Soo loves me

5. Soo loves this family

6. Soo loves me family

7. Soo and i enjoy each other

8. Soo and i have worked thru conflicts

9. Soo is SOO Super Cute

10. Soo is such a wonderful wife & marvelous mom

11. Soo challneged me by her generosity & kindness

12. friends to celebrate Soo with

13. friends who babysit so Soo & i could go out

i love my wife.

And i thank God upon every remembrance of her.

i don't say it enough or think it enough, but i appreciate my wife.

i pray she would be blessed with greater intimacy with the Lord this year, that she would know Him and experience His presence & pleasure, filled with His joy & love.

i pray she would know His goodness and His kindness.

And i pray she'd grow in faith, walk with God, love well and grow as a wife, mom, person.

And i pray i love her well, i'd treat her as Christ, and treat her as Christ would - and that she'd know Christ more thru me.

i pray i would be a servant and care for her well. That i would put her above my own needs, encourage her often and help her whenever possible.

Lord, i thank you for Soo

Today i am thankful for... (Jan 7)

Jan 7: Mark Fertig's birthday
Jan 8: Soo's birthday

Today i am thankful for Mark
1. My friendship with Mark, good conversation
2. God brought Mark to Himself in college,
3. and then brought him to East Asia to impact others
4. Mark's faith
5. That Ohio state was not very good at football this year (sorry Mark)

The things i am thankful for Jan 6

Soo's birthday is just a couple days away... i am thankful for her... (i thank God for her everyday)

Today i am thankful for...

1. God brought Soo into my life. She is His perfect provision for me
2. I am God's perfect provision for her. OF all the people in the universe, He chose me to be an instrument in her life. Thanks for the priviledge and blessing to serve & lead my wife
3. God's sovereignty over our marriage
4. All the relationships that didn't work, all the girls who rejected me... so i could marry Soo
5. That God created marriage and designed marriage

12 for 2012

Last year i made a list of 11 things of 11 for 2011... and didn't do too bad... so, here goes

12 For 2012

12 things I’m looking forward to in 2012

1.     the birth of our son

2.     Halle talking

3.     sitting in panera or starbucks or B&N, reading a book, journaling, talking with friends

4.     Following up Freshmen contacts

5.     Christmas Conference… and to a lesser degree Fall Retreat

6.     Seeing our parents enjoy their grandchildren

7.     One on one hang-outs with old friends + Getting phone calls from friends and not having to talk at midnight or 10am

8.     Having a car: n more buses or waiting for taxis

9.     watching football, espn, pti

10. Leading a Men’s Bible study & doing ministry in english

11. No more classes in the morning

12. Eating Good Food

12 Goals

1.     Pray for 100 countries (and maybe another 100 people group)

2.     Write 12 notes to Soo, Halle and the new baby

3.     Outline 12 books of the Bible

4.     Write at least one blog entry a week

5.     Write out 500 things I am thankful for ( real goal is 1,000)(real goal is to write 3 things I am thankful for each day)

6.     Memorize 12 verses(passages)

7.     Take Soo on 12 unique dates (different than a meal or a movie)… (of course plan for a date every week)

8.     Share the Gospel with 12 people

9.     Get to point I am playing basketball (or some other sport) weekly

10. Get to point of doing hamstring & back stretches 3/wk

11. Learn a few (12) Korean phrases or words

12. Buy a house

12 themes for 2012

1.     Eternal Perspective

2.     Wisdom

3.     Attentive to God, attentive to needs of others

4.     Transition

5.     Passion

6.     Fun

7.     Hope

8.     Friendship

9.     Humility & Grace

10. Keep myself in the love of God

11. Service/servanthood & Generosity/Giving

12. Growing… Love Jesus… Full of Faith

12 ways I want to grow in God’s Word

1.     Proverbs:
I should have done this long ago, living in Asia. I should take advantage of wisdom here, and figure out ways to share Gospel using the book. I want to ask people questions, consider Confuscious & other philosophers
Big Goal: read thru the book 12 times… more realistic: 5… Soft Goal: 3 times

2.     Colossians + Tullian Talks
Long interested… I want to study & meditate and listen to Tullian’s talk series on Colossians (24 talks) Jesus+ Nothing=Everything

3.     Study the life of Josiah
2 weeks? Look online and stuff

4.     Study life of Samuel

5.     Micah
Soo loved the book + these 3 are potential names

6.     Study on the END TIMES (Revelation, Daniel, etc… but more topical)
if 2012 is the end… or if people are thinking about it, I want to be more informed and be able to share the Gospel… + I want to have more of an eternal perspective & live with a greater sense of urgency

7.     Study Galatians
more and more entrigued by this book

8.     Study Sermon on the Mount

9.     Read Judges as a story, maybe write it out

10. Read Philippians several times, rememorize stuff

11. Look at I or II Peter – just because I need to get something other than Paul

12. Consider some stuff from I Corinthians or Titus or I John

12 books I own I want to read/finish

       1.     Marriage-builder

       2.     Starting your marriage off right

       3.     The Good News we almost forgot

       4.     Divine Conspiracy

       5.     eat, pray, love

       6.     Managing God’s money

       7.     Now, you’re speaking my language

       8.     God’s Big Picture

       9.     Rescuing Ambition

      10. The Deep things of God

      11. What Wives wish their husbands knew about sex

      12. The Gospel is for Christians or Bonhoffer? Or Redeeming Love?

12 books I’ve yet to buy I want to read

       1.     It All goes Back in the Box

       2.     Grace-based Parenting

       3.     Generous Justice

       4.     Thirsting for God

       5.     Ancient Word, Changing worlds

       6.     The Love Dare

       7.     Note to Self

       8.     Disciple

       9.     A Million miles in a thousand years

      10. The Naked Gospel or As far as the curse is found

      11. Faith is not a feeling or A long Obedience in the same direction

      12. FNL or Hunger Games or Harry Potter

12 movies I want to see

       1.     The Dark Knight Rises

       2.     Thor

       3.     30 minutes or less
             Aziz Anzari & Jesse Eisenberg: need I say more
       4.     Infernal Affairs

             I need to watch this before I leave Asia

       5.     Mummy 3
             another we own here and is about Asia

       6.     Moneyball
             baseball, Brad Pitt and the guy who did the Social Network- what else could I ask for?

       7.     Taxi Driver… or Airplane
             Classics, and we own it here

       8.     Terminator: Salvation

       9.     United 93

     10. Godfather movies

Best movies ever right?

     11. Rio

     12. The wrestler or Ali

* The Hobbit

12 people I want to invest in

1.     Marc

2.     Sean

3.     Brack

4.     Ken

5.     Varkey

6.     Corey

7.     B

8.     Kevin

9.     Jack

10. Halle

11. My son

12. Soo

12 people I haven’t seen/talked to in a while to try to connect with one time

1.     Matt H

2.     Paul Mann

3.     Will story

4.     erik Mellquist

5.     Jon Leazenby

6.     Tim VanFossen

7.     Brandon Sammut

8.     Adam Anderson

9.     Trepod

10. Berg

11. A Smyly

12. dario

12 things to try to make

1.     PB fudge

2.     Chocolate fudge

3.     Bacon wrapped crackers

4.     Chocolate chip & bacon cookies

5.     Buffalo dip

6.     Pho for Soo

7.     A Turkish dish

8.     Twice-baked potatoes

9.     Kao tudou pian

10. Tudou jiding

11. Orange chicken

12. Ziran yang rou

12 words/phrases I want to describe me in 2012

1.     Growing

2.     Full of Faith

3.     Faithful

4.     Loving

5.     Humble

6.     Servant

7.     Caring/Compassionate

8.     Good friend

9.     Hard-working

10. Joyful

11. Patient & forgiving

12. passionate

12 things I’m not looking forward to

1.     Having to decide what to keep and what to leave

2.     Packing

3.     Trying to make some big decisions such as where to live and car to buy

4.     Traveling across the world with a one year old & pregnant wife

5.     Trying to sell things

6.     Saying goodbye to friends

7.     MPD

8.     All the logistical things we’ll need to figure out concerning taxes and insurance, etc

9.     Sticker shock

10. Not having a baomu

11. Sleepless nights

12. Trying to figure out how to spend time when students aren’t around

The things i am thankful for Jan 5

We bought our tickets home today.
i guess a little prayer helps...

Thank God for frequent fler miles... we're getting one flight for free... and by getting a credit card & a long flight, should have enough for 2 roundtrip tickets...

man am i sleepy right now...  i fell asleep in the taxi this evening - woke up and had no idea where i was...

Today, i am thankful for...
1. Frequent Flier miles
2. naps
3. sleep

The things i am thankful for Jan 4

woke up early today... pretty tired now... but

Today i am thankful for...

1. team dinners
2. good food: have had some good stuff recently
3. God created moms
   thinking of my mom... and my wife as a mom
4. The care & sacrifice of moms (especially my mom, and Soo as a mom)
5. That God cares for us, cares for me

God cares about every detail. There is nothing that goes by Him. There is nothing too small to Him. He cares about everything. No feeling is insignificant. i can count on the Lord.

And He has taken care of me.
And He will take care of me... i can rest easy.

The things i am thankful for on Jan 3

Today was my mom's birthday... didn't get to see her... and since she is in India, and i don't know where, we weren't able to talk either...  but mom i love you! And i am thankful for you.

Today i am thankful for...
1. My mom!
2. The Lord brought my parents together (arranged marriage)
3. The Lord enabled my parents to come to know Him in India
4. The Lord enabled my parents to go to America...
5. That i grew up in America
6. My parents culture & faith & personalities influenced me
7. My parents pointed me to Christ and prayed for me
8. My mom loved & loves me so much, cares so much for me
9. My mom's joy & laughter (And that influenced me too).
10. That my mom played games with me (and my friends) as a kid
11. Opportunity to meet new people
12. Good Steak.


Today is usually a day off, but i heard it was the last day before exams, so i went to campus to meet some students... which was good. i enjoyed my time on campus.
Kinda weird knowing i'll be leaving soon, but felt the need to take these steps of faith and see what would happen.

One student i was very blessed for all the things i have been able to do & experience.

i am blessed... but maybe not why he said.

i am blessed to know God. i am blessed to be saved. i am blessed by God.
And my family is such a great blesssing.
Not because they help me to go places and paid for my schooling and all that... but because they follow the Lord & how they love me...

Mom you were always there for me as a kid.
My friends talk about your lemonade and your doughnuts... and we will always remember you playing parcheesi and charades - esp the time you acted out popeye and got spice in your eye...
You care for us deeply - maybe too much- but we know it is because you love us.
You love God, desire eagerly to grow and know God.
i am thankful for you!

i am also greatly blessed to have a wonderful wife... we were able to go on a lil date tonight... played some ping-pong (Soo played despite being 20 weeks pregnant) and got some wonderful steak... it was amazing.

Parts of today were hard... my back hurt a bit... getting a little anxious about the future... some conflicts... but overall, a good day.
Thank You God!

The things i am thankful for on Jan 2

Yesterday I posted a blog about things I was thankful for… that kinda went with the idea of a new year…

But really what I am thankful for are the important things

Today i am thankful for...

1.     Jesus

Last week I saw ppl tweet: The Reward for Following Jesus is Jesus. How True. I am thankful to know Jesus. I am thankful Jesus is my friend. And I am thankful for the love of Jesus and the reward of Jesus. He is my King. And He is my treasure

2.     The gift of Salavation

Apart from Jesus Himself, Jesus does give Salvation… and this is a great gift indeed. It give security and freedom and hope.

3.     My wife, Soo

Sure, there may be times when marriage is difficult… and tiring. And Soo is sinful person like the rest of us, like me. But she loves me and I love her. She is my best friend. The person who will always be in my life. And the person who will have the best opportunity to show me the Gospel by giving me continual grace and loving me despite my unworthiness. And I get the great priviledge to love her and take care of her and show her the Gospel. I love it!

4.     Halle (and the new baby too)

I love watching my daughter grow. I delight in hearing laugh and seeing her smile. I get a wonderful privilege of being with her every day and first thing in the morning. She lets me hold her… and even wants me to sometimes…

5.     I get to know God better thru being a Dad… and what a blessing & honor & stewardship and responsibility to be the one who gets to reveal the character of God the Father to her – only I get that….

6.     Friends & family

Truly I could go into this more, but I am so blessed

7.     Your Wonderful Word which instruct me in righteousness and wisdom

There is a lot to be thankful for concerning Your Word, but today after reading Proverbs, I am thankful for how Your Word instructs me, and leads me in righteousness and wisdom

8.     Waffles!

9.     And the waffle-maker & other things You have blessed us with (that we now need to sell).

10. That Soo is 20 weeks pregnant already! It is hard to believe… last year at 20 weeks it felt like it had been 40, this time it feels like it has been 10 (though don’t know if Soo would quite agree).

Thank You God

The thing about wisdom & humility

Verse of the Day Day 1

The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge (Wisdom). The fool despises wisdom & instruction. (Proverbs 1:7)

Today’s verse

For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding. (Proverbs 2:6)

Proverbs 2 was a bit better than Proverbs 1- which was kinda like the introduction or the forward of a book. Even chapter was like the prolouge.

Of course there was a lot before and after that.

To get this wisdom, I need to seek it as silver, search for it like treasure.

Wisdom is a treasure.

Wisdom will keep me from sin, keep me from wickedness and evil people.

Wisdom leads toward righteousness and the way of the Lord.

Lord, I want to be wise.

And not in the sense I want to be seen as wise, thought as wise, or feel smart.

I think I often think that way when I think of being wise.

No, today as I read and reflect on today and yesterdays reading, I see I want to be wise because I don’t want to be a fool. I don’t want to sin. I don’t want to turn from You, leave You.

And to be wise, I need to be humble.

I need to see I am not wise.

I am not wise in myself.

I need help.

I need others to instruct me.

And I need Your Words…from Your Word.

You instruct me.

You lead me.

You guide me.

Not my own wisdom.

Not my insights.

Not what I think or feel.

Not my experiences.

You.

Not because I have gained much knowledge

Or read so many books.

Or have seen success.

I need to be humble before You

To allow You to speak

And let You lead me & guide me.

As I have been reading Exodus, I could be like the people of Israel who look simply and what they have and have not… who like at the people around them and what they do, how they operate, how they worship, how they have a king, etc. I could do things the way the world does it… or I could follow You.

Lord, may I follow You.

And I may think I have it all together. I could think I know what I am doing and I don’t need instruction and help. And I could feel insulted for how I am passed over, how I am not thought of, how I am not respected and want to show the world just how great and smart and knowledgable and wise I am… or I could walk in humility… and receive instruction, and let You lead me.

Lord, clothe me in humility.

May I do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with my God.

Lord, I need You.

And I am not so strong, not so smart I can do this on my own, by myself, without others.

Clothe me in humility.

Allow me to receive instruction.

May I not be unwise, but wise… honoring & glorifying You.