the one after the retreat

The Retreat this weekend went well... but this isn't going to be an update, this is to let you into the world of Asian retreats

Retreats in Asia mean...
... going to the bathrooom means going to an outhouse where the pig lives
... not pooping for 50 hours
... sleeping on board on top of concrete
... having your message translated... and not sure if it is translaed correctly... and having to wait for reactions...
... going to bed at 11 and waking up at 7 (instead of going to bed at 4 and waking up at 8 like i would in the states)
... rain (or in this weekend's case: hail - but only for a few minutes)
... getting a discount at the restaurant by taking a picture with the owners
... sitting next to heat fans
... having to come up with new illustrations b/c the American ones don't work
... a back pack worth of stuff never used: Yes, i never changed below my waist- not even when i slept: i didn't change my socks, underwear or jeans all weekend... didn't shower, so didn't use the towel... only changed my shirt once... so the extra shirts weren't needed either...

i miss retreats in America... and it is different being older, married, a kid on the way... but i still had fun

My writing dreams

This week at our team dinner we had a "child" theme.
We talked about what we wanted to be when we were kids

When i was a kid i wanted to be a stuntman and never use handles on car doors - like The Dukes of Hazzard.
Later, i wanted to be a professional athlete- but soon realized that would never happen, and dreamed of being an owner or general manager... and when i realized that wouldn't happen i wanted to be a sports writer.

i did wind up with a degree in writing - but it was from Purdue...

Now i play fantasy sports- and play quite well. It is like being a GM. And sometimes i write about sports on my blogs (but have not reached the status of my friends who created boiledsports.com).

A few years ago we used to do surveys - and i'd ask people what 3 things do they want to do in life. Mine:
1. Get married
2. Have a family
3. write a book

Blogging has helped
i wrote a lot on my previous blog http://lilmookie.xanga.com/
And even wrote a bunch of devotionals http://mookieslildevo.xanga.com/ - the goal was 365, but not quite there.

i think i'm going to try writing more, maybe even start on some of books

Ideas for books
1. Everything i needed to know i could have learned in Sunday School
2. One Messed-up Missionary
3. mookie's lil devo
4. Devos from Deuteronomy
5. Jesus pooped


But how do people get their start?
How do people get big?

i'm not gonna quit my day(& night) job, but i want to pursue this a bit- i enjoy it

The one with things that energize me and drain me

So i was reading in the book leading on empty i should make a list of things which energize me as well as drain me.

So i came up with a couple lists... i tried to rank them, but who knows really... some are broad, some specific... some are so obvious maybe they shouldn't be on these lists...


Things that recharge/energize me

1. journaling/processing life/reflecting on life & God
2. Being with Soo
3. time with old friends
4. people sharing vulnerably with me
5. receiving encouragement, positive feedback
6. conversing about God/Bible/theology with one or two good friends or a small group
7. laughter
a. time with friends
b. reminiscing about a fun story
c. being silly/goofy/crazy
d. tv show or movie
e. corny jokes
f. witty comments/jokes
g. comedian
8. Discipleship/ helping people grow/understand the fullness of the gospel more/Bible/Holy Spirit, etc
9. discussing the dynamic of friendship/community/dating relationships or marriage/Christ-centered community with people
10. Praise & Worship in song
11. playing sports & hanging out afterwards
a. basketball
b. football
c. Ultimate frisbee
d. Baseball
e. golf (Sometimes)
12. Late Night Conversation & sillyness (ie denny’s, steak n shake, sonic)

Things that drain me

1. getting up early
2. Unresponsiveness during a Bible study/talk
3. difficult people
a. critical
b. negative/pessimistic
c. know-it-alls/prideful
d. not agreeable
4. conflict resolution
5. class of any sort, esp in the morning (moves up to #1 perhaps)
6. dance parties
7. decisions
8. impatient people
9. hearing others complain
10. older people
11. busyness/deadlines/assignments : in other words: work
12. traffic, lines


Soo made a list too
things that energize her include
- cooking
- taking walks
- me
- friends
- eating
things that drain her included
- reading
- meetings (esp prayer meetings)

How about you?





Here are some more things that energize me

13. Intimacy with my wife
14. being goofy/crazy/loud &obnoxious with a bunch of people
15. A good nap on the couch
16. conversing about life/following Christ with one or two good friends or a small group
17. Writing about the Bible, God, & following Christ
18. Barnes & Noble
19. Leading a good Bible study/giving a talk
20. Someone listening to me vent/process life
21. writing blogs/ writing about life situations, feelings, beliefs, theories, etc
22. Watching sports & discussing sports(ie PTI)
a. NCAA basketball: esp March Maddness
b. NCAA football
c. NFL
d. Sometimes MLB
e. (NBA does not count, unless we’re discussing how idiotic & worthless it is).
23. Making lists
24. tv shows
a. scrubs
b. Seinfeld
c. Simpsons
d. A few others
25. Some prayer meetings (but others can be draining).
26. listening to music
27. Reading a good Christian book
28. reminiscing (life, tv shows, sports, etc)
29. Serving others: like washing dishes
30. Chocolate, peanut butter
31. Waffles
32. Making new friends
33. A good EV conversation
34. my puppy
35. Movies
36. Cheese, Meat (ie Pizza, burgers, etc)
37. updating friends: twitter/fb/writing PL’s/emails
38. coffee shops/panera
39. being with friends doing anything
40. strategy games like Settlers of Catan, fbb, rummy
41. a long hot shower
42. reading leadership development books
43. cold drinks
44. good food
45. A good night’s sleep
46. Pooping
47. reading blogs/facebook/magazines
48. recreational sports
ie: ping-pong, corn hole, pool, bowling, boce ball,etc
49. video games
50. New places/adventures
51. jog/run/work-out
52. crossing things off a to do list



And some more things that drain me

13. internet problems
14. computer problems
15. achy back (not my back pain, but just needing a massage).
16. superficial friendships (not conversations, though this may be included)
17. new people
18. phone calls
19. being sick
20. swimming pools, water
21. foreign language
22. kids sometimes
23. my parents sometimes
24. cheats/scams
25. accountability/reporting to superiors
26. traveling
27. some meetings
28. being the only guy
29. big parties (K-tv)
30. mpd
31. superficial conversations
32. some prayer meetings
33. cell-phones/interruptions
34. some EV conversations
35. cleaning, laundry, etc
36. disobedient puppy
37. exercise

The thing about endurance

Whenever you are going thru a trial or a difficult time you need endurance.
What helps us endure?


If our focus or goal is the relief of pain, it will make enduring much harder.
We need something to keep us going! We need to fix our eyes on a prize. We need to see something worth all the suffering.

In pregnancy, we may just want all te sickness and pain and discomfort and inconvenience to go away. But that won't be very motivating for endurance.
But enduring all the pain for the end result of a baby, a child, a new life may help.
YEs, we want the pain, the suffering to end... but the journey is no fun then at all, it becomes misery.

(One of these days i'll write a post about Miley Cyrus' "The Climb").

As Soo & i wait for the baby, we want to wait for the baby, not just look forward to when all the pain is gone.
We don't just do ministry, so we're done, but so people know Jesus.
We don't look forward to heaven simply b/c the misery will be over and i won't have to deal with my problems, but b/c God is there.

And here is where we push it up a notch.
As i encouraged Soo to think about why she goes thru the pain- for the baby, the Lord spoke to her through Hannah in 1 Samuel and showed us, even that is too small.
It's not about the baby, it's about God's glory.

When we suffer, it is not reliving pain. Nor is it about learning a lesson. It is not about ministry growing either.

We don't endure for these benefits, but we look to the glory of God!

Moses endured suffering with the people of Israel, frsakign the riches of Egypt- for a greater reward in heaven.
Abraham left his country, for God's country.
Jesus endured the cross, for joy: our salvation -- God's glory!

ENDURE!

The one with pregnancy & a picture of the Gospel

Soo has been quite sick and experienced a lot of pain b/c of this pregnancy.

Why does pregnancy hurt so bad? Because of the fall.
Could you imagine how great it would be if Adam & Eve did not sin. Giving birth was not supposed to be painful. Wow, that would be great!

In pregnancy, we see a consequence of sin: Not being pregnant- that is a blessing- but the pain in childbirth (so i only imagine the birthing process will only be worse than what Soo feels now).

We again see our need for God.

But at the end of this, there is life. A new life. And we endure the pain and discomfort the birth of a child. Many desire this pain & discomfort because they want a child so badly. Most know the pain, but choose to have a child anyway. Why? Because of the reward, because of the new life.

Isn't this a picture of the Gospel?
Jesus endured the cross, despised the shame, went thru incredible suffering with joy - for joy, for the purpose of God, for bringing life (Heb 12:2).
Christ suffered - to the point of death- to bring us life.

So, God uses even the consequences of sin for our benefit. Though pregnancy we can know Christ more. We can know the joy in pain He had. We can appreciate His love and sacrifice for us. He is good.

The thing about pregnancy and dependency

Pregnancy teaches us a lot.
Of course it may be easier to see as i'm not the one experiencing it.

It certainly teaches us dependence.

For one, the experience is painful and uncomfortable. Soo needs to pray to ask God to help her thru the difficult time.
i can do nothing about her pain. i want to comfort her, i want to help her, i even often wish i was the one going thru it so she didn't have to. Sure there are a few things i can do to ease the pain, but there is nothing i can do to take away the pain or discomfort completely. i give her a massage, i get her food, i do some chores - mostly i pray.

More than that we can't do anything to control the health of the baby. There is a baby inside Soo, but we can't see it, we can't hold it, we just wait.
Yes, there are eating & lifestyle habits that help. But there are no guarantees. Miscarriages happen to 1 out of every 4 expectant mothers. Some can't even conceive. We want to control how things will turn out. We want to make sure everything will be good. But we still have to wait on the Lord

More than a healthy child we want a child who knows the Lord, who loves Jesus. And again this is outside of our control. We can't force our children to believe in Christ. We can teach them the Bible, take them to church, be an example, love them, give them grace, etc etc. In the end it is up to God.
We are praying for the salvation of our child. We are pleading with God. We are utterly dependent on Him!

And so is true in all of life. As much as i think i am in control or somethings are up to me or i can handle a problem or how hard i work will determine results - in fact i am dependent on God. In ministry, in my work, in marriage, in friendships/relationships, in my spiritual growth: in all aspects... i need to depend on Him lean on Him, pray to Him and trust Him in all things and for all things. He is God and i am not.

My wife's 1st mother's day

We're pregnant!

You may have been fooled when we wrote such on facebook on April Fool's day... but the trick was, we really were pregnant!

i guess the years at Michigan - my then director now has 11...12 kids... and one of my key disciples had 3 kids in his first 4 years of marriage - rubbed off on me...

We weren't trying, but we weren't not trying either...

So, we are incredibly excited and feel incredibly blessed! Children are a blessing from the Lord and we are thankful.

We are entering into the 2nd trimester now and hope Soo's morning sickness will subside.

Please join us in praying for Soo's health and the health of our future child!


Addendum: for Mother's Day i made Soo breakfast in bed, then read her a bunch of verses about the blessing of children (Psalm 127:3-5; 113:9), the responsibilities of being a parent (fr Ps 78 & Deut) and the guidance of God (Ps 121:4) and the blessing she is (Pr 31). And then prayed for her and gave her a foot massage.
i had hoped for a better evening, but made an easy dinner and watched "How to train your dragon" great flick!

My reading list

i just saw on a friend's facebook something about books and have been working on finishing some books as well as adding books to my collection... i have like 10-15 books started.

and a bookshelf full of books to read, and yet i still want to buy more...

And you know how i love making lists..
here is my reading list
1. Leading on empty** (Leadership/devotonal)
2. Humility** (Devotional)
3. What to expect when you’re expecting** (marriage/parenting)
4. Safely Home** (Missions/fiction/China)
5. A God-entranced Vision for all things (Devotional)
6. 66 love letters* (devotional)
7. Respectable sins (devotional)
8. The Forgotten God* (devotional)
9. Sheet music** (Marriage)
10. My Wife thinks I’m an Idiot* (Marriage)
11. The life of David BRainard (Missions)
12. SP depression** (Devotional)
13. Jesus, Mean & Wild** (Devotional)
14. Good to Great** (Leadership)
15. Baby wise (Parenting)
16. 1st year of marriage** (Marriage)
17. Walking with God*** (Devotional)
18. Reason for God** (Ministry)
19. Pierced by the Word*** (Devotional)
20. Sacred Marriage** (Marriage/devotional)
21. A million miles in a thousand years*(Devotional/fun)
22. How people grow (Devotional)
23. Doctrine(Driscol)* (Theo)
24. Shaped by the Word (Devotional)

those are the books i hope to finish by the end of the calendar year... at least...
and these are other books on my wish list
Some friends recently suggested some, and i am open to adding more

25. It all goes back into the box*
26. Scandelous (DA Carson)*
27. Counterfeit gods
28. The good news we almost forgot*
29. An Ordinary Pastor
30. Harry Potter book 7*
31. The me I want to be*
32. Irresistable Revolution*
33. Shepherding a child’s heart*
34. His needs, Her needs *
35. The Gospel*
36. Jesus
37. Outliers**
38. Marriage builder**
39. What J demands from the world**
40. Have a little faith
41. He gave us Stories**
42. True Spiritual Community
43. Marley & Me*
44. Then sings my Soul
45. 3 Musketeers
46. Leaders who last*
47. Praise habit*(**)
48. The glorious pursuit***
49. Eat, pray, love**
50. Surprised by Hope*
51. Redeeming love*
52. Sex and the Supremacy of Christ
53. Vintage Jesus*
54. The hole in our Gospel*
55. Into thin air*
56. The Question of God
57. The Love Dare*
58. Mice & men
59. Religious Affections
60. Lost & philosophy
61. Divine Conspiracy
62. Men & Women**
63. Love & Respect**
64. Unquenchable worshipper*
65. Worldliness*
66. Made to Stick**
67. Furious longing of God***
68. The Chris Farley show*
69. Having a Mary heart in a Martha world
70. Jesus loves me***
71. Do hard things***
72. Sex God*
73. Christ & culture revisited*
74. It’s not about the coffee***
75. The Starbucks Principle*
76. To be Told
77. Filling up affliction of Christ
78. The shack*(**)
79. This momentary marriage
80. Hard to believe*
81. Rumors of another world***
82. The discipline of grace
83. The discovery of Genesis***
84. The Beloved Disciple***
85. Cure for the common life***
86. The art of war
87. Great Expectations
88. The 8th habit***
89. Trusting God*
90. Jesus w/o religion
91. Jesus on Leadership
92. Leading with a limp*
93. 12 ordinary men*
94. The man in the mirror*
95. Finally alive***
96. Robinson Curusoe
97. Death by Love
98. Jesus (by Borg)*
99. Untamed*

*indicate books i do not own
** indicate books started
*** indicate books only on the list b/c i started and are only on the list b/c i feel the need to finish it even though i don't like it