The thing about lent (Why i practice lent)

Yesterday morning i thought it would it be a good idea to give up snacks for lent... last night my thoughts were: Lent is stupid. i want a snack!

And tonight again as i sit here wanting a swiss cake roll, i think again.
I mean why practice lent?
I don't have to.
.. And it's hard.
... And it doesn't seem to be working for the purpose i'm doing it anyway
So maybe i should just quit.

Back in the day, i would laugh at my friends for having to practice lent. But, a few years ago I decided I would practice the discipline. Until this year, i didn't really know when it ended, since i thought it was 40 days, but i guess Sunday's don't count? that still doesn't make sense to me... and i may not do it every year... but i still think the discipline could  be very healthy.

Now, i know there are some out there who say we shouldn't practice lent. That it is a bad thing.
i suppose for some, it could be bad.
i doubt there are many or any who believe practicing lent will save them. However, there may be many who think practicing lent will make God love them more  or give them higher standing with God.
In those cases, lent is not a good practice.
Or perhaps there are some who believe they should suffer, that as follower of Christ, we shouldn't enjoy things in this world. And that would be wrong too.
Or that we must do it to be a good christian.

The Bible warns against asceticism and even gives warnings about traditions (Colossians 2). Practicing these things isn't just a bad idea, it disqualifies you as you rely on yourself rather than the work of Christ.

I say I don't have to practice lent because Christ has paid for everything.  Since my identity is in Christ,  I am completely accepted and forgiven. I have the righteousness of Christ.
The Gospel frees me from restrictions, from guilt, from shame.
The work of Christ is complete. i don't have to give something up for God to love me or to be right with God. i am already.

So if i don't have to do it- i am under no obligation to do it- why do it?
Because i want to.

What? you want to deny yourself something you enjoy? you want to do something that is difficult?

Let's get this straight. i am not doing something that is difficult for difficulty's sake. That is asceticism. i am not trying to make my life more difficult. In fact, i am trying to do something good for my life. i am trying to create a pathway to make my walk with God less complicated.

Now some may say you shouldn't just give up sweets, you are supposed to give up your whole life to God.
Yes! of course. I first must give over my entire life, my entire heart to God. But that is not what this is about.

The thing is, just saying give up your entire life to God is very easy to say, and it some ways it means nothing at all. And so we need to practice this. We need to give over every area of our life to God. It is His.
We do that not by words only, but in practice & discipline.

Practicing Lent is practicing a discipline - a discipline of desire.
See it's not about giving up something, but gaining something.
i want to see Jesus more clearly, i want to be more focused on Him.
i want to experience Him more.
And i experience Him more as i turn to Him more and depend on Him more.


We don't like fasting because we think only of what we give up, when instead we should focus on what we gain.
Fasting is a good practice because it allows us to feast on God.
And when i fast from something, it reveals how much i depend on things besides God.

Right now i am struggling because i like to eat sweets when i am stressed. (After all, stressed backwards is desserts). But instead of eating a swiss cake roll, i have to turn to Jesus. Instead of eating away my sorrow, i give my sorrow to God and allow Him to turn it into joy.
Not only that, i have become used to eating. i want to develop holy habits of turning to God. i want to become used to looking to God.
And i look to it to give me a boost of energy, instead of relying on God to carry me thru.
It is crazy to think how dependent i have become on food. It is amazing how much i run to it for comfort. It is amazing how much i rely on it.

Giving something up, reveals my tendency to run to idols. (i thought perhaps we should give up showering, so we would understand how much we reek of sin- but if we practice rightly we should see it anyway).

And giving something up, allows me to run to God instead.
instead of reading facebook status over and over- i'll read the Word
instead of wasting time on tv, i can invest in savoring time with Jesus.
instead of living on bread and dessert, i live on the word that proceeds from the mouth of God.


But then there is that. Practicing lent is supposed to turn me toward Jesus, but all i can think about is the thing i am giving up. All i can think about is pop or chocolate or what i am missing out on.
So if it isn't working i should just give up.
But this is why we do it for forty days. It may not happen at first, or maybe at first it does and later days it doesn't. The point is the discipline, disciplines my heart. It serves to reveal the sinful tendency of my heart and provide a platform for change

i recommend fasting. Maybe it's not during lent, maybe it's not for 40 days. But consider a fast, consider a food fast - that you may grow your hunger for God (And read the book "Hunger for God" by John Piper while you're at it).

Lent isn't magical. Lent isn't obligation.
But the next 6 weeks or so, we can join with others in fasting to feast on God, to enjoy Him, to know Him more. It has only been one day and i already see God working in my heart.

The Adventures of a typical boring family

It's been about a year since i really updated this thing... though i did try to restart my xanga once inbetween and have had many dreams of blogging again... i think it'd be good for me... but i guess life has been busy and i've been wasting time...

i used to blog a lot, about all the exciting things going on... and i think perhaps we have settled into the mundane, into our thirties or into family life...

However, i'd like to give an update- maybe not the last year, but recently...
May flew by, hard to believe it is June. Back in March, i was looking forward to May being a nice relaxing time to get a lot of things done... not really, Still, i feel like a lot happened...

This last week we potty-trained Halle.
  We used the 3-day potty-training method, suggested by a friend.
 i liked it, in that it used a lot of positive reinforcement & encouragement. And it was empowering, building ownership. We weren't to force her to use the toilet or even ask her if she needed to go(though sometimes we slipped), but just reminded her to tell us if she needed to go.
We completely ditched the diapers and put her in underwear.
Kinda crazy.

By the middle of day 2, while Halle was napping, we were trying to think what we would do when it didn't work... but soon after she woke up   - it started to click!
She's not perfect, but she's pretty close. She sometimes isn't quick enough, but she knows what she is supposed to do
... pretty soon, she will find it physically impossible to not poo in her pants.

Josiah meantime is attempting more steps and blabbering more things that sound like words.

In a month, our lives should be radically different.

Josiah celebrated his one-year birthday last month. We had a party here in Munice, then again in LA. He seemed to like the chocolate cake, though he went to bed soon after his party started in LA, and didn't even get cake. He wasn't too upset about that, but i was. i saved him a piece of cake, and just about everyday wanted to give him his piece, but he never got it...

We spent 2 weeks in LA, celebrating 3 moms on mother's day... To summarize our time: We took the 15 to the 210 to the 605 to the 5 to the 1 to the 10 to the 101...
And we ate In N Out, Mexican, Thai, Korean, Chinese, Cuban, Japanese and fresh food.

We had a good time seeing people, but it was nice to get back, the 3 hour time difference was killer jet-lag, which is crazy when you consider all the travel we used to do.

So, yes, thirties are kinda boring... but still exciting for me. We already went to LA, have a trip coming up to Colorado, next up: Traverse City, Mi.

More updates to come... hopefully

My boring life

i was looking at some old blogs at my old xanga.

The posts were funny or interesting or deep... and got lots of comments.

Now the posts are... just kinda boring.

And i think so is my life.

i got old.
i'm no longer in that stage of wondering what is next. Will i ever get married? Who will i marry? Where will i live? What about this?
No, things kinda just go.
Things aren't new or thought-provoking.
i just go about life each day.
Sure, sometimes i listen to a sermon with an interesting quote. And sometimes i read a good book that provoke me or challenges me. And i certainly can read a verse in the Bible i like.
And there are some fun moments in life, some laughter, some funny things.
But it just seems like life goes by.

i wake up, take care of the baby, pray with my wife, read the Bible, try to do some work, spend time with the family, maybe call a friend, watch a movie, check espn and steal some quiet moments in the bathroom reading a book and i go to bed again.

i want a more exciting life.
i need to take some more steps of faith.

Today i am thankful for...
1. Snow... it makes things a mess and traffic slow... but what a creative invention by God. It is fun and beautiful and cool
2. a flexible schedule... though it sometimes drives me crazy, it is a great blessing
3. a hot shower

We'll see what the next day brings

the one with a trip to the hospital

Trips to the hospital are not much fun here. It is kind of like when you have to go to the emergency room in  America, except much worse, and many more people.

We usually leave quite annoyed and extremely tired.

The worst is when people are smoking inside the hospital.
Last pregnancy, Soo had to spend 2 nights in the hospital. She stayed in a room with 7 other patients and their families (yes, i stayed the night too). Most of the other patients were having babies.
There was one public bathroom for that room and another. No one cleaned it. And toilet paper didn't flush.
The pile of bloody & poop-stained paper was taller than me.

Outside of the room with all the expecting mothers, the father were smoking. Some would try to hide in the stairwell, others didn't care at all. i came out and gave a glare and they would put out their cigarette.

Soo on the otherhand doesn't always receive that support.
Most people are pretty good about it when we're at restaurants or in a taxi - but somehow at the hospital, no one cares.


Anyway, it is mostly a waiting game...

·       we have to get there at least an hour 15 minutes before the doctor arrives to register… Everyone shows up at 1:15… some go at 12:30 to make sure they are first in line (though honestly I don’t know if being first is all it is cracked up to be). I think if you get there by 1 you’re ok.. if you get there at 1:15 you could be 1^st or you could be 12^th …

·      Once in line, we have to battle all the people who try to crowd you and cut in front of you… 

·      Then we wait again… then have to run all over the hospital and wait again…

·      Then after all the tests are done… we waited again…

·      People are walking around with open containers of urine

·      The place is crowded

·      And it FREEZING

Still, i am thankful

Today i am thankful for

1. foreign doctors who come to serve God by serving others

    for all our trouble, i can't imagine all the stress and difficulties they deal with

2. not only for qualified doctors, but doctors who speak english and are quite helpful

3. We know where to go now. A few years ago we never knew which hospital to go to. We never knew who to trust, now we know

4. God takes care of us. No matter what health we may be in, God is in control. And He has given us good health

5. After our trip, though frustrating, we know Soo is healthy and the baby looks good too

6. friends who help us by watching Halle so she doesn't have to go or Soo doesn't have to go by herself

7. Doctors & hospitals in general. God has equipped people & given wisdom so we can experience healthier lives.

i hope in the midst of frustration, we don't lose sight of God

The thing about Steve Jobs

I am writing this on a Mac.

I had said I never wanted a Mac and never would get one. 

In college, as a writing major, we had to use macs all the time – apparently they were great for design… but at Purdue, they were just old…

and I hated not having my right click/left click buttons…

later, I thought it was just ridiculous how expensive they were… and it all just felt like a fad, like something popular… but... I broke down. I got a mac.

It has been good. I am no mac apologist, but I do love my Ipod touch. And my computer has lasted me longer than previous computers… and I hope to by an Ipad some day…

About 13 hours ago I found out Steve Jobs had died… I was mildly surprised, but didn’t realize how much his death would impact so many people (then again I still don’t understand why John Lennon’s death was so impactful on others).

I began reading some things about him- and he certainly led an interesting life.

Put up for adoption… rejected by original people… college drop-out… formed Apple before he was 20… filthy rich by 30… fired from the company he formed… made Pixar what it is today… revolutionized the computer industry… entriguing lifestyle…and battled cancer… The only question is who plays him in a movie? 

Soo & I watched his Stanford commencement speech. Which was really good.

It was so good in fact, we framed our date this afternoon around it.

His words were inspirational, visionary & challenging…

You should watch the video.

Steve Jobs was a visionary. He is an inspiration. His innovations changed the computer world – and thus he had a huge impact on the world as we know it.

Not only are his inventions being used, but now his words are being quoted, and shaping many more young minds.

And his words are inspiring, they are challenging… but in the end, they are still just human words of human wisdom.

And we must remember they are not the words of God. Words of a god you may say, but now the words of God. So thus, while there is a lot to be gleaned from his life & his wisdom, it still falls short.

Living each day as it were his last

Truly Steve Jobs was not the first person to live this way. Steven Covey has challenged millions to begin with the end in mind. Steve Jobs wanted to live each day as if it were his last. He wanted to make a difference.

And a difference he made.

In his time on earth, he made a difference. In fact, the difference he made will influence generations beyond him.

But there will come a day when he is forgotten. There will come a day, when new technology will be introduced. And while he still would have influenced the world… what if there were something more?

What if he lived for something beyond his lifetime & for something beyond this world. He lived everyday as if it were his last to make a difference… he brought beauty & convenience and pleasure… but what if there were something even more meaningful, something even more important?

There is no reason not to follow your heart

He makes a great point that “your time is limited, so don’t waste living someone else’s life. And he also right to say there is intuition in the heart that knows what is best…

But our hearts can deceive us. Our hearts are wicked. And intuition isn’t always best.

You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

We do need something to trust in. Without anything to trust in, how will we get by? What will motivate us? How will we keep going?

But will just anything do?

He hits on a big point- that we all do trust in something. We may not realize it, but there is always something pulling us or pointing us to make the decisions we do. Without anything, there is no drive, there is no life.

But will anything do?

I suppose many things could work… but will it be sustaining? Is it worth trusting? Is it something to cling to?

His meaning surely is – Whatever works… so that you follow your heart. Follow your self.

He comes to a point of recognizing there is something beyond himself… but doesn’t recognize something greater than himself (or ourselves).

Death is the destination we all share, no one has ever escaped it

And now Steve Jobs shares that destination. He also was not able to escape it. He made billions of dollars, did things he loved doing, had an adventurous life, achieved success, fame & acclaim, and made impact on the world… but he still died.

Steve Jobs got it right in so much. But he missed it.

He made a difference in this world, but he could have made such a bigger difference. His impact will influence thousands of years, but he could have had an impact on eternity. His heart led him & led him to happiness that many will never experience, but he could have had joy unspeakable for an eternity.

We all need something to get us through the difficult times, we all need something to move us & direct us- but there is a specific someone… and that someone is the one who didn’t avoid death, but one who did overcome death.

Jesus overcame death. He is worth following more than your heart. And a life given to following Him and living His life is worth following. He is the One you can trust in the midst of difficulty, the One you can trust to work out the details, the One who will take care of you, protect you & love you. And He is the One who makes your life significant. He is the one who satisfies. And the impact you have on the world for the glory of Christ- is the impact that will last and will change the world in ways beyond what we can wildly imagine.

Many are saying today Rest In Peace Steve Jobs.

And I hope, by God’s grace, that he found his way to Jesus.

Jesus said  “…Come unto me and I will give you rest…”

I thank God for how he used Steve Jobs. I pray for his family. And I pray for you. May you change the world by being a witness of Christ. May you make an impact for eternity. May you find faith in God who is in control of everything. And may you experience Life, instead of death when you die.

Thank You Jesus for giving me Life

35 years in the books... Thank You Jesus for giving me life.

35 years is significant... my sister didn't make it to 30, Jesus died when he was 33... i have lived 5 years more than my sister did and have had more than a year than Jesus did too.

Life would be so different if my sister were around... i could imagine her being a great aunt, loving Halle & Soo well... sending a package every month... then again, i wonder if she hadn't gone through what she did, if i hadn't seen her faith, if i hadn't experienced disappointment, if i hadn't experienced death... would i be where i am now?

God gave me life. He created all peoples. God Almighty, Creator of the Universe, Author of all things.

But He not only gave a physical life, He gave me real life, everlasting life, the abundant life.

i may have had a physical body and lived life on earth... but my spirit was dead. My sin brought death. i was enslaved to sin and on path to eternal destruction... Jesus came to rescue me from death & give me life.

Looking back, my life was empty. i went to school, i played sports, i watched tv- but life had no meaning. i felt insecure, unimportant, useless, worthless. i didn't like life- at least my life. i had buddies i guess, but no friends. i could do some things, but i was nothing spectacular. There was no hope... i was just looking forward to death.

Christ established hope, brought me joy, poured out love, changed my life... gave me life!

If you know me, you know i am a sinful person. You know i am selfish. You know i can be impatient & anxious and certainly full of pride. i needed a Savior. God saw my need and sent His Son to die for my sin.
Now, i have life, life everlasting!


Looking back, i can see God's hand on my life. All over the place.
I am Indian.
Born to parents who were arranged in marriage
Indian parents who were Christian
Born in America... in Indiana
in Septmeber... so i'd be younger/smaller than everyone in my class
born ten years after my sister and eight years after my brother.
Born to parents who loved God, loved us, were giving to others.

i went to Purdue
lived in an all-guys dorm
there was a Bible study on my floor
lived on the same floor as Brian Bettag
at the last second he asked me to live with him sophomore year
met his brother Kevin, Kevin's best friend Andy, their co-worker Brack
i got involved in a Christian group i tried to avoid
i joined a Bible study i didn't want to be in, but didn't have the guts to say no on the phone
i made friends who changed my lfie

My sister got cancer.
My prayers weren't answered
i felt forgotten by God... when a friend told me he was praying for me... when my dad told me to keep faith...
i went to a conference around the same time, and learned about surrender
2 weeks later my sister died... i was far away from home with a lot of time to think...
Somehow i wasn't angry or scared... but hopeful... and given new perspective
... and i began praying more

i got convicted about going to the world... i hoped my parents wouldn't like the idea, but they were excited... until i told them i was going - they forgot all about that conversation... then i went... and i went again... had hard times... but God was still leading.

He led me through the book of Acts as i was considering my future... and He led me to Asia...
while in Asia, He laid the University of Michigan on my mind... and when i joined... that was the 1st option they mentioned...

But soon time at Michigan would be up too... and i left the country, just when everything was starting to go well
And though times were difficult, He convicted me to stay... then we started seeing some incredible things happen...
And i committed to 3 more years... with no wife... and after rejection after rejection after rejection... i met Soo... we got married, got pregnant, had a baby(notice no pauses)...

Been reading Exodus...
...without Esau hating Jacob, he would have never met Rachel
...without Rachel having difficulty conceiving, Joseph wouldn't have been favored so much, causing him to be hated
... without Jacobs brothers hating him and selling him into slavery, and Potiphor's wife slandering his name, Joseph would have never had the opportunity to advance as far he did
... without Joseph's power, Israel would have never been in Egypt and become slaves
... without being slaves, Israel would have never been delivered and gone to the promise land
And
without Jesus being wrongly accused, wrongly put to death... we would never be able to receive the blessing of eternal life with God



God's hand has been upon me.
He has led me.
He has been with me.
He has been with me during the hard times and the pleasant times.
He has been with me in America, Asia, Turkey, all my travels.
He has been with me when i was a Jesus freak, when i was apathetic, when i doubted, all the time

He is the source of joy.
He is the source of peace.
He is the source of love.
HE is the source of LIFE!

Where would i be without Him? i don't know.

But i am thankful for all the people He has put in my life.
i am thankful for all the places He has taken me.
i am thankful for the challenges and changes He brought to me.
i am thankful for the trials & difficulties & disappointments.
i am thankful He has changed my heart and changed my life.
i am thankful He has saved me.

John 15:5
Psalm 16
Acts 20:22-24


Thank You Jesus for giving me life!

Lessons from a Lost dog: Seeking the Lost v Finding the Lost

After a night of waiting and a lot of pleading, Soo was finally able to convince them to let me go out in a little van around the lot to call out for the dog.

They assured me people were looking for the dog, so we didn’t need to go. But we wanted to find our dog and felt we were best equipped to find her.

We went thru security and we got into this van, I opened the windows and screamed out for puppy as we went around the perimiter of the airport.

It was hard to tell if she would be able to hear me, and hard to look from a distance and while traveling.

One thing I noticed however was the lack of people looking for the dog. It didn’t look as if anyone was looking for the dog. There were a number of people outside, but none looking around for a dog.

When we finished the search, I mentioned this to them.

“How many people are looking for the dog.”

“Oh, so many people.”

“It doesn’t look like there is anyone looking for the dog.”

“No, everyone is looking for the dog.”

“There are people looking around for her, calling her name?”

“Oh no, but everyone knows there is a small black dog lost.”

What use does this do?

I got angry and animated.

And I tried to express that knowing a dog is lost does nothing to help find the lost dog.

Of course if someone sees a dog on an airport runway they will notify someone.

The thing is, if she was that easy to spot, we would have had already.

She must be hiding.

And if she is hiding, she won’t be found simply by accident. Someone needs to go look for her.

Perhaps you will eventually stumble upon her or she will come out- but we could find her much more quickly if someone was looking.

In fact, she might be right next to you, but if you’re not looking for her, you can’t find her.

It reminded me of the lost around us.

We may expect them to come to Church.

We may expect them to make the first move.

If they want to find God, they can.

We put up posters around campus, a billboard in front of our church, and we expect people to come.

No.

They need to be searched out.

Jesus didn’t come simply to find lost. He came to SEEK and to SAVE the lost.

We need to seek them. We need to go out of our way to find them and bring them into the fold.

The Shepherd leaves the 99 to find the one to bring it back in the flock.

The woman searches diligently to find the lost coin.

We need to do likewise.

If we would do so for 1 sheep, for 1 coin, for a missing dog that we could easily replace. If we would take time looking for a remote control, throwing all the couch cusions everywhere. IF we would get down on all-four to find a contact or a missing road from settlers of catan – can’t we put forth some effort to seek out the lost?

How do we do this?

It is more than a flier or an invitation.

At the very least it is a conversation- but even that is just the bare minimum.

We need to go where they are, we need to enter into their world. We need to first be involved in their activities.

We need to be able to talk about things they enjoy.

We need to think thru ways we can serve them… maybe buying something for them or making them a meal or inviting them over for a meal or party or something.

We need to show love.

We need to take the initiative.

It’s not just about finding the lost, but going out to seek and save the lost.

How can you go and seek out for the lost?

Are you willing to leave your comfortable spot and search for the lost?

Are you willing to put some effort into finding the lost?

Are you willing to leave your own little world in order to enter into the world of people around you?

[puppy post #1] [puppy post #2]

My life recently

i haven't written a personal update on the blog in a long time... but i kinda feel like it... i mean our life is kinda crazy and kinda interesting... maybe...

We're in the stretch run, winding down our time in the states. We really could be leaving anytime now.
Tentatively we're planning for the end of this month... but we don't have tickets yet... because we don't have our visa yet... because we haven't got the forms we need yet.

i may be able to reserve tickets now... but i'm not sure if we can change dates or not (though i was informed a friend did it). i would just do it by faith( this is an expression, not an actual step of faith decision)... but we thought we would have had our visa by at least now... originally thinking we would have had it a month ago. We started the process in early January... it's a long complicated story.

Nonetheless, it would be really weird if we were leaving this week... leaving Muncie at the end of this week is hard enough... where did the time go?


Well, February FLEW by. Starting with giving 2 talks in 3 days, and 3 sermons on one day... then 2 weeks in California - which certainly wasn't enough for Soo's family... and a couple quick days in Houston - and the month was gone.

We came back and packed 3 big bags to send overseas with some friends who headed overseas last week. We actually packed one bag in California, that we never unpacked, just sent straight over. So we actually packed 4 suitcases already. The 4th we'll be sending with my parents when they hopefully come in May.

Babies are so SMALL. So, why do they need SO MUCH STUFF?
Seriously. 2 bags are pretty much all her clothes, another 1 is toys, and stuff for her... and we still have a ton for her... oh and a big bag of clothes we'll need when she turns 3...

So, 3 bags already sent, we get 4 more when we go + a big carry-on & our computers... then my parents will bring 2 or 3 more... and i'm not sure if that will be enough!

i hate packing. i hate traveling.
And yet this is what our life is.

some thoughts on packing

• one of the more interesting things is repacking a bag after being gone for a couple weeks. i see all the things we never used at all. i didn't need that extra pair of jeans or a few shirts... and when Soo's parents run a laundromat, we really didn't need much clothes at all
• Even more sad is seeing things we packed and didn't use for 6 months... oh well
• i always hurt my back when i pack
• i roll all the clothes...always... and pack and repack... but pretty much every bag hits right between 47-52lbs!
• i try to pack things together too. Sometimes things have to be split up because of size/weight... but if i can i put items together
• i always try to pack one bag with stuff i might possibly need to get stuff out of... and/or think thru the stuff i want to wear so i can pack it in a bag... when we went to Houston for 3 days we tried to pack one suitcase just for Houston, i thought that would be easy. i picked out the clothes i'd wear. Soo picked out 8 outfits for herself and 12+ for Halle... hm. girls & boys are different

We really do live out of a suitcase

It was also pretty weird to be packing clothes for Halle for when she'll be one... and two... and even three... wow! Will she be that big that soon?

As for life...

• i feel like i wish i woulda done more stuff here with people and taken more advantage of my time here... but also feel like there was not much more we coulda done
• i think i may be ready to go back to East Asia... but not really. i don't miss the food. i don't miss the language. i miss the work. i miss the routine. i miss being part of a team. i get excited about seeing people again and going certain places. But i don't really miss Asia
• Soo is doing a bit better... she just seems to go from one problem to the next. Bad Morning Sickness --> Labor-->Post-labor pain-->Terrible Stomach troubles --> bug bite on finger. She has been avoiding a lot of food, which means i don't eat it either...
• been trying to read and write a lot, as well as enjoy time with friends and get ready to go

i have several blogs now
http://mookball.blogspot.com
for sports
http://mookiesmooviesandmoosic.blogspot.com
for other entertainment stuff
i want to start one for books, called mook's books
and i may even update my devo site from time to time
xanga.com/mookieslildevo

i should update that one the most, but really, i'm just writing about sports all the time

Well, that is a snapshot.

Mook on Recongizing our wretchedness and embracing our awfulness

7, 8 years ago i came to realization: the more people get to know me, the less they like me.

i probably felt it before, but i knew it then. The more people got to know me, the less they liked me.

They began to see the opinions and not just the easy-to-get-along with guy. They saw the serious side, not just the fun side - or vice versa. They had to deal with me and my depression, not just my laughter.
Yes, the more time people spent with me, the less they wanted to. The more they got to know me, the less they liked me.

And for years i have been battling that.
i conferred it with friends. Some verified it, other tried not to give in, just to prove me wrong.
i tried to "escape" the lie. - No, it can't be true! People like me!

But i've realized, this is a losing battle.

And really, i should not be surprised by it.

Why should i be surprised by this?
See, as people get to know me more, the more they see of my filth. That is, my sin.
i can hide my sin a lil bit, but not for long.

Every part of me has been stained by the fall.
i am not utterly completely bad, but i am totally depraved.

Not only that, but i am the product of living in a fallen world.
And people who respond are also fallen.


So... the more people get to know me, the less they tend to like me.

Now, Soo and some other friends perhaps will fight against this. She will affirm and tell me all the things that are good about me.
And it is true, some people like me - even after they get to know me.

But this is just like putting white snow on top of a big pile of poop.
The sin is still there. My fallenness is there.


i know, i know, i've shared this before.

but i'll say it again.

Instead of ignoring all that yuckiness and looking for good. i need to recognize my wretchedness and embrace my awfulness and see how difficult it is to love me. i am not lovely or lovable. i am disgusting and a mess.


The wonder isn't how easy it is for people to stop liking me or get upset with me. The wonder is that i am loved at all!

This is The Gospel.
i need the Gospel.

i am wretched, but God saved me.
i am awful, but i am liked.
i am disgusting, but God delights in me.
i am difficult, but the body of Christ deals with me and helps me.

We need the Gospel in our community. We need to extend the Gospel to others. And we need to embrace the Gospel.
Stop making much of ourselves and start making much of God and His Gospel.

the thing about activities

What do you do for fun?

What activities define you?

A couple days ago, Soo & I were going through His Needs, Her Needs the other day and came across a section of listing recreational activities to do together

Soo came up with 11, I came up with 45

I was pretty specific in most instances, though I did combine some.

I went back and listed them in order… then decided to lump some together – and still had 20.

The thing is, most of them were not things I do very often or do at all anymore.

Most of my favorite things are things I used to do- when I was in college, or younger at least.

I mean, I didn’t put down the highschool stuff… but I am getting old

How often do I play basketball anymore? Do I even play catch?

Of course, some things require groups of people – like Ultimate… or even freezetag… and other things you can only do when it is warm or in certain places that have the facilities like golf, driving range, mini-golf, raquetball, ping-pong

These days what do I do for fun?

1.     sit in a coffee shop/bookstore/panera & read (or really any place and read)

2.     watch sports

3.     watch tv shows

4.     watch movies

5.     write

6.     hang out with friends (and talk about babies)

7.     Settlers of Catan

but when I look back, the most enjoyable times were

1.     talking with a small group of people about life & God (maybe at a restaurant or a starbucks)

2.     playing basketball

3.     Late night conversations (maybe at dennys or steak n shake)

4.     discussing theology

5.     Ultimate or Football

6.     Prayer & Praise

7.     Tv shows like Seinfeld, Simpsons, scrubs

8.     Watching sports

9.     Discussing tv shows or movies

10. Playing catch (baseball or football)

11. Ping-pong

12. Watching bad movies & making fun of it

This morning (the day I wrote this) I was playing with Halle and asked her if she would be more like her mom or like her dad.

As I thought about that, I wondered what activities make me stand out? What is my niche

I first thought of the friends episode where Emma says her “first word” and it was a scientific word and it made Ross so happy… then I thought of the other episode when they were talking about how jokes are Chandler’s thing

On friends –it is so easy. Chandler is all about humor & jokes. Ross is all about science & history. Joey is all about his looks (or sex) and having a good time.

Even with real life friends, it can be easy to pick out.

For Soo, she is artistic, and likes shopping and is hospitable & serving and all about food.

I can think of other friends who are all about singing praise or others who are all about theology or all about reading or all about sports.

But what about me?

I’d like to think I’m all about God- but that’s not really true.

Some may think I’m all about missions. I don’t know there either

I used to be a sportsnut – but I’m not quite there anymore (or maybe I am)

What actitvity sticks out? Wasting time? Procrastinating? Eating junk food?

Maybe the better question is: What do I want to stick out? What activities do I want to define me? How do I want to be remembered or known?

How about you?

What is your niche? What activities define you?

How do you want to be known?

And I’m curious what do you think sticks out about me?

And what do you do for fun?

Comments welcome and appreciated

The one with things that energize me and drain me

So i was reading in the book leading on empty i should make a list of things which energize me as well as drain me.

So i came up with a couple lists... i tried to rank them, but who knows really... some are broad, some specific... some are so obvious maybe they shouldn't be on these lists...


Things that recharge/energize me

1. journaling/processing life/reflecting on life & God
2. Being with Soo
3. time with old friends
4. people sharing vulnerably with me
5. receiving encouragement, positive feedback
6. conversing about God/Bible/theology with one or two good friends or a small group
7. laughter
a. time with friends
b. reminiscing about a fun story
c. being silly/goofy/crazy
d. tv show or movie
e. corny jokes
f. witty comments/jokes
g. comedian
8. Discipleship/ helping people grow/understand the fullness of the gospel more/Bible/Holy Spirit, etc
9. discussing the dynamic of friendship/community/dating relationships or marriage/Christ-centered community with people
10. Praise & Worship in song
11. playing sports & hanging out afterwards
a. basketball
b. football
c. Ultimate frisbee
d. Baseball
e. golf (Sometimes)
12. Late Night Conversation & sillyness (ie denny’s, steak n shake, sonic)

Things that drain me

1. getting up early
2. Unresponsiveness during a Bible study/talk
3. difficult people
a. critical
b. negative/pessimistic
c. know-it-alls/prideful
d. not agreeable
4. conflict resolution
5. class of any sort, esp in the morning (moves up to #1 perhaps)
6. dance parties
7. decisions
8. impatient people
9. hearing others complain
10. older people
11. busyness/deadlines/assignments : in other words: work
12. traffic, lines


Soo made a list too
things that energize her include
- cooking
- taking walks
- me
- friends
- eating
things that drain her included
- reading
- meetings (esp prayer meetings)

How about you?





Here are some more things that energize me

13. Intimacy with my wife
14. being goofy/crazy/loud &obnoxious with a bunch of people
15. A good nap on the couch
16. conversing about life/following Christ with one or two good friends or a small group
17. Writing about the Bible, God, & following Christ
18. Barnes & Noble
19. Leading a good Bible study/giving a talk
20. Someone listening to me vent/process life
21. writing blogs/ writing about life situations, feelings, beliefs, theories, etc
22. Watching sports & discussing sports(ie PTI)
a. NCAA basketball: esp March Maddness
b. NCAA football
c. NFL
d. Sometimes MLB
e. (NBA does not count, unless we’re discussing how idiotic & worthless it is).
23. Making lists
24. tv shows
a. scrubs
b. Seinfeld
c. Simpsons
d. A few others
25. Some prayer meetings (but others can be draining).
26. listening to music
27. Reading a good Christian book
28. reminiscing (life, tv shows, sports, etc)
29. Serving others: like washing dishes
30. Chocolate, peanut butter
31. Waffles
32. Making new friends
33. A good EV conversation
34. my puppy
35. Movies
36. Cheese, Meat (ie Pizza, burgers, etc)
37. updating friends: twitter/fb/writing PL’s/emails
38. coffee shops/panera
39. being with friends doing anything
40. strategy games like Settlers of Catan, fbb, rummy
41. a long hot shower
42. reading leadership development books
43. cold drinks
44. good food
45. A good night’s sleep
46. Pooping
47. reading blogs/facebook/magazines
48. recreational sports
ie: ping-pong, corn hole, pool, bowling, boce ball,etc
49. video games
50. New places/adventures
51. jog/run/work-out
52. crossing things off a to do list



And some more things that drain me

13. internet problems
14. computer problems
15. achy back (not my back pain, but just needing a massage).
16. superficial friendships (not conversations, though this may be included)
17. new people
18. phone calls
19. being sick
20. swimming pools, water
21. foreign language
22. kids sometimes
23. my parents sometimes
24. cheats/scams
25. accountability/reporting to superiors
26. traveling
27. some meetings
28. being the only guy
29. big parties (K-tv)
30. mpd
31. superficial conversations
32. some prayer meetings
33. cell-phones/interruptions
34. some EV conversations
35. cleaning, laundry, etc
36. disobedient puppy
37. exercise

The one with pregnancy & a picture of the Gospel

Soo has been quite sick and experienced a lot of pain b/c of this pregnancy.

Why does pregnancy hurt so bad? Because of the fall.
Could you imagine how great it would be if Adam & Eve did not sin. Giving birth was not supposed to be painful. Wow, that would be great!

In pregnancy, we see a consequence of sin: Not being pregnant- that is a blessing- but the pain in childbirth (so i only imagine the birthing process will only be worse than what Soo feels now).

We again see our need for God.

But at the end of this, there is life. A new life. And we endure the pain and discomfort the birth of a child. Many desire this pain & discomfort because they want a child so badly. Most know the pain, but choose to have a child anyway. Why? Because of the reward, because of the new life.

Isn't this a picture of the Gospel?
Jesus endured the cross, despised the shame, went thru incredible suffering with joy - for joy, for the purpose of God, for bringing life (Heb 12:2).
Christ suffered - to the point of death- to bring us life.

So, God uses even the consequences of sin for our benefit. Though pregnancy we can know Christ more. We can know the joy in pain He had. We can appreciate His love and sacrifice for us. He is good.