i complain a lot. i don't think that i do, but i do.
i hate complainers. It's the one thing i know i complain about and will complain often about and i don't feel bad about it either...
You can complain that i don't capitalize my "i" for instance. OR my use of ...
A lot of people complain about food or weather... and it is just annoying...
Complaining doesn't help much, though i will say, it is helpful to vent sometimes.
Americans complain a lot- A LOT!
And they don't seem embarrassed by it at all. We complain about how expensive things are, how bad our government is doing, our parents, etc etc.
Complaining is very unbecoming however. No one wants to be around a person who complains all the time (Conversely we don't like being around people who are cheerful all the time either).
If you're around a person who complains a lot, you usually try to find another conversation to join, and that person isn't the one you call up right away.
Not only that, but complaining is sin - it's SIN!
There's no excuse for it. It may be understandable and maybe reasonable - more than likely no one is going to condemn you - but it is still sin.
We need to repent of our sin.
i once went to Trinity to hear John Piper give a guest lecture and during a Q&A time someone asked - if all complaining is sin, but you don't really feel happy about it, what do you do (or something to that affect)?
He responded by saying "Well don't compound your sin by lying too. If you're gonna complain in your heart, that is sin. And then if you lie about it, you're sinning again."
We don't have to lie. We can be- and should be - honest with God. We can repent of our complaining spirit.
We can- i believe- even have difficulty with something, but in the end give thanks to God and choose to rejoice.
i'm not saying complain complain complain, then say something good to cover your butt. However, i don't think having difficulty with something is the same as complaining.
Sometimes we need to process, and sometimes we need to vent. We need to be careful and we need to be humble... and often we'll need to repent.
Being positive doesn't mean you need to be fake.
Complaining doesn't make you more authentic or real... but it does make you a sinner.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
the one with things i don't like about living in East Asia
It is so freaking hot... and there is no cold water in the shower... i feel uncomfortable, and i've been a lil sick recently... so i haven't been in the best mood... so here comes an angry, frustrated post
i don't like living here b/c
1. The shower: today no cold water, so i was more sweaty after the shower than before... sometimes it is so hot it is scalding... of course other days there is no hot water - there were a couple days like that a couple weeks ago, which means no shower... and of course there is no water at all
2. Slow/intermittent internet: It takes a while to load page, watching youtube is frustrating... and phone calls cut out every 5 minutes...
3. being away from friends: and when the internet makes it hard to talk to people, it is all the worse.
4. people who cheat me: of course this is the worst of all - b/c it is all about the people isn't it? Landlords don't return deposits. Vendors charge more money b/c i'm a foreigner.
5. electricty going out: Yes this still happens. And if we need to pay for more electricty it always seems to go out on the weekends, which means we have to wait 2 days... then all the food goes bad in the fridge...
6. We miss food: Sure there are some western restaurants now, but i still miss food
7. Conversations: The Asians don't talk about sports... and don't really talk about themselves either. And when giving a talk, no one responds. There is no head-nodding, no smiles, no reactions at all...
8. Foreign language: i have been here 5 years, but i still can't follow things... and sometimes it is b/c my language is actually better than theirs... most of time it is just b/c i'm stupid though
9. Nowhere to go: Everything closes early... no place has A/C... and we don't have cars to get places anyway
10. people come & go: i'm ok with it most of the time, i enjoy people while they are here, but it does get tiring.
i have to remind myself that every place i'd live would have some problems. There are sinful, fallen people everywhere who try to take advantage of you. People walk in & out of our lives everywhere... we'll get bored... different problems in different places... and it'd be more expensive... and the little things wouldn't seem as great...
So what am i thankful for?
1. My wife. It's not always easy, but she loves mes and i love her
2. our baby on the way: i still call her baby, though we have a name picked out... pregnancy is hard, but she is worth it
3. our puppy: she sometimes ignores us, but she loves us and cuddles with us and runs to us... it's great
4. A baomu(maid): What is going to be like when we have to wash all the dishes and clean all the time?
5. Good friends back in the states who give good advice and encouragement: we need you guys. You don't know how much one small word, one small act can breathe life into us. And your prayers are powerful!
6. Friends here who are like family: What would we do without you?
7. books & my kindle: the Lord speaks to me and challenges me
8. The western restaurants & import stores: we probably eat better here than in the states
9. The internet: 10 years ago i was here, and there was no communication with people for a year. We had no idea what was going on in the world, a whole year of my life is missing. People talk about things and i have no idea what they're talking about. But now we can keep up with things
10. The Gospel: i need it every day! The Holy Spirit continues to work in my life. And God continues to pour out grace.
There are plenty more things i can be thankful for. God is good. And He has blessed us tremendously.
Thanks for all your prayers
i don't like living here b/c
1. The shower: today no cold water, so i was more sweaty after the shower than before... sometimes it is so hot it is scalding... of course other days there is no hot water - there were a couple days like that a couple weeks ago, which means no shower... and of course there is no water at all
2. Slow/intermittent internet: It takes a while to load page, watching youtube is frustrating... and phone calls cut out every 5 minutes...
3. being away from friends: and when the internet makes it hard to talk to people, it is all the worse.
4. people who cheat me: of course this is the worst of all - b/c it is all about the people isn't it? Landlords don't return deposits. Vendors charge more money b/c i'm a foreigner.
5. electricty going out: Yes this still happens. And if we need to pay for more electricty it always seems to go out on the weekends, which means we have to wait 2 days... then all the food goes bad in the fridge...
6. We miss food: Sure there are some western restaurants now, but i still miss food
7. Conversations: The Asians don't talk about sports... and don't really talk about themselves either. And when giving a talk, no one responds. There is no head-nodding, no smiles, no reactions at all...
8. Foreign language: i have been here 5 years, but i still can't follow things... and sometimes it is b/c my language is actually better than theirs... most of time it is just b/c i'm stupid though
9. Nowhere to go: Everything closes early... no place has A/C... and we don't have cars to get places anyway
10. people come & go: i'm ok with it most of the time, i enjoy people while they are here, but it does get tiring.
i have to remind myself that every place i'd live would have some problems. There are sinful, fallen people everywhere who try to take advantage of you. People walk in & out of our lives everywhere... we'll get bored... different problems in different places... and it'd be more expensive... and the little things wouldn't seem as great...
So what am i thankful for?
1. My wife. It's not always easy, but she loves mes and i love her
2. our baby on the way: i still call her baby, though we have a name picked out... pregnancy is hard, but she is worth it
3. our puppy: she sometimes ignores us, but she loves us and cuddles with us and runs to us... it's great
4. A baomu(maid): What is going to be like when we have to wash all the dishes and clean all the time?
5. Good friends back in the states who give good advice and encouragement: we need you guys. You don't know how much one small word, one small act can breathe life into us. And your prayers are powerful!
6. Friends here who are like family: What would we do without you?
7. books & my kindle: the Lord speaks to me and challenges me
8. The western restaurants & import stores: we probably eat better here than in the states
9. The internet: 10 years ago i was here, and there was no communication with people for a year. We had no idea what was going on in the world, a whole year of my life is missing. People talk about things and i have no idea what they're talking about. But now we can keep up with things
10. The Gospel: i need it every day! The Holy Spirit continues to work in my life. And God continues to pour out grace.
There are plenty more things i can be thankful for. God is good. And He has blessed us tremendously.
Thanks for all your prayers
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Our Sunday Morning Service
Living overseas, Sunday mornings can look a bit different than if we lived in the states.
We gather with other American brothers & sisters on Sunday morning, which we call FT or Family Time.
It is structured similar to a typical church service. That is what church is, a family time.
We listen to talks from different pastors. Lately we've been going thru Mark Driscol's series on Proverbs.
Previously we listened to some Tim Keller.
After the talk we have some discussion based on the talk.
Sometimes we'll have some time share what is going on our lives as well and to pray with and for one another.
And we have time of worship, which includes singing and communion.
Today, the worship set included
1. Rain down by David Crowder band
2. Your Name is Holy by Skillet
3. You Never Let Go by Matt Redman
4. Mystery by Charlie Hall
5. Let us love and sing and wonder by Jars of clay
6. Prince of Peace
My church back home does communion every week, as it is proclaiming Christ. It is a Biblical act of worship. And it reminds us of Christ & the Gospel.
We really try to use that time of the communion to point us to Christ and fix our eyes on Him.
We also have food, and usually go out to eat together afterward.
i see the purpose of church to exalt Christ & develop the community of believers.
We accomplish these things.
We gather with other American brothers & sisters on Sunday morning, which we call FT or Family Time.
It is structured similar to a typical church service. That is what church is, a family time.
We listen to talks from different pastors. Lately we've been going thru Mark Driscol's series on Proverbs.
Previously we listened to some Tim Keller.
After the talk we have some discussion based on the talk.
Sometimes we'll have some time share what is going on our lives as well and to pray with and for one another.
And we have time of worship, which includes singing and communion.
Today, the worship set included
1. Rain down by David Crowder band
2. Your Name is Holy by Skillet
3. You Never Let Go by Matt Redman
4. Mystery by Charlie Hall
5. Let us love and sing and wonder by Jars of clay
6. Prince of Peace
My church back home does communion every week, as it is proclaiming Christ. It is a Biblical act of worship. And it reminds us of Christ & the Gospel.
We really try to use that time of the communion to point us to Christ and fix our eyes on Him.
We also have food, and usually go out to eat together afterward.
i see the purpose of church to exalt Christ & develop the community of believers.
We accomplish these things.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
my lists of food
i made Soo this dish last night.
but with only 3 weeks left, we still have a lot of food to eat.
See we bring all this stuff from America, and buy a lot from the import store and we save it... but now we're leaving for 8 months. Do we eat the local food we won't get for a while, or eat the food we alredy spent money on and often crave?
Here's what we still have to eat
1. Pepperoni pizza x3
2. Chicken parmesan
3. Tacos x2
4. Stuffed chicken
5. Cincinnati chilli
6. Chicken chilli
7. Lasagna
8. Buffalo chicken
9. Pulled pork
10. plenty of salad dressing
11. a lot of marinades
Plus one of the western restaurants just introduced a mexican wrap- which is just like a burrito: salsa, sour cream... and LOTS of meat! Yes, this is a big deal when you live in the middle of nowhere Asia!
Meanwhile, still craving American food. Where should we eat first?
things we want
1. Mediteranean food
2. jamba juice
3. Weber Grrill
4. In N Out & Father's Office
5. CPK... or any pizza delivered
6. fast food like McDonalds
7. sit down in a panera
8. Peruvian Food
9. KFC double down and biscuits
10. Angelo's deep fried french toast
11. Chipotle... mexican food
12. ice cream
Is it strange when we think of going to America we think of food all sorts of other countries?
3 weeks...
but with only 3 weeks left, we still have a lot of food to eat.
See we bring all this stuff from America, and buy a lot from the import store and we save it... but now we're leaving for 8 months. Do we eat the local food we won't get for a while, or eat the food we alredy spent money on and often crave?
Here's what we still have to eat
1. Pepperoni pizza x3
2. Chicken parmesan
3. Tacos x2
4. Stuffed chicken
5. Cincinnati chilli
6. Chicken chilli
7. Lasagna
8. Buffalo chicken
9. Pulled pork
10. plenty of salad dressing
11. a lot of marinades
Plus one of the western restaurants just introduced a mexican wrap- which is just like a burrito: salsa, sour cream... and LOTS of meat! Yes, this is a big deal when you live in the middle of nowhere Asia!
Meanwhile, still craving American food. Where should we eat first?
things we want
1. Mediteranean food
2. jamba juice
3. Weber Grrill
4. In N Out & Father's Office
5. CPK... or any pizza delivered
6. fast food like McDonalds
7. sit down in a panera
8. Peruvian Food
9. KFC double down and biscuits
10. Angelo's deep fried french toast
11. Chipotle... mexican food
12. ice cream
Is it strange when we think of going to America we think of food all sorts of other countries?
3 weeks...
Thursday, July 22, 2010
My family-friendly job
How do people do it?
How do married couples with 9-5 jobs make their marriage work?
How do pregnant couples survive?
How does a pregnant woman work?
i am so glad that my bosses are more concerned about my marriage and family than my production.
And i am so glad that i don't have a 9-5 office job that has an hour commute.
Pretty much everything i do and Soo does- is at home.
i take class at home, so my teacher comes here, i don't even have to leave for that.
We have some meetings elsewhere, but since we work together- we go to those meetings together.
i am rarely apart from Soo. So, if she gets sick, i can be there with her. IF she needs me to get something for her, i can get it. When she is throwing up, i am standing right next to her.
i don't know how others do it.
i would hate being away from Soo when she is feeling sick - which is every day.
i would hate for her to suffer alone.
Perhaps if her schedule wasn't so flexible, she would be busier, and not think about how sick she is. But i'm thankful for our flexability.
i am glad i have flexability, so if i need to take care of Soo in the middle of the afternoon, i can. And then later in the evening, i can do the work i need to do.
Sometimes i feel guilty for how much i am home, and how some balls got dropped.
But i would much rather invest in my marriage than in my ministry.
i believe Soo (and the baby) is God's #1 priority for me.
We are glad God called us to this field. When we have the baby, i will use all my vacation days and paternal leave- and basically have two months to just help take care of the baby.
i don't know how the rest of you do it. i'll send you my prayers... even with the time, we still need God. No way we do this without Him!
How do married couples with 9-5 jobs make their marriage work?
How do pregnant couples survive?
How does a pregnant woman work?
i am so glad that my bosses are more concerned about my marriage and family than my production.
And i am so glad that i don't have a 9-5 office job that has an hour commute.
Pretty much everything i do and Soo does- is at home.
i take class at home, so my teacher comes here, i don't even have to leave for that.
We have some meetings elsewhere, but since we work together- we go to those meetings together.
i am rarely apart from Soo. So, if she gets sick, i can be there with her. IF she needs me to get something for her, i can get it. When she is throwing up, i am standing right next to her.
i don't know how others do it.
i would hate being away from Soo when she is feeling sick - which is every day.
i would hate for her to suffer alone.
Perhaps if her schedule wasn't so flexible, she would be busier, and not think about how sick she is. But i'm thankful for our flexability.
i am glad i have flexability, so if i need to take care of Soo in the middle of the afternoon, i can. And then later in the evening, i can do the work i need to do.
Sometimes i feel guilty for how much i am home, and how some balls got dropped.
But i would much rather invest in my marriage than in my ministry.
i believe Soo (and the baby) is God's #1 priority for me.
We are glad God called us to this field. When we have the baby, i will use all my vacation days and paternal leave- and basically have two months to just help take care of the baby.
i don't know how the rest of you do it. i'll send you my prayers... even with the time, we still need God. No way we do this without Him!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The thing about instruction
When I feel like I did something bad or failing at something. I don’t really want instruction or input on how to improve. I want affirmation, and to feel better about myself. Even if I really do need to improve, I’d rather live in ignorance & feel good about myself.
This is foolishness.
I was reading a review on Shepherding a Child’s heart. One person wrote- The book made me feel bad about myself and how I parent. I already feel bad, I don’t need this book telling me that.
(I also watched an episode of Everybody loves Raymond, where he goes on tv. At first they are all so happy for him. But when he goes back,t hey give him some constructive criticism. The show makes fun of him for being angry they were so nice to him at first, but shows he’d rather have that, than the feedback).
Another reviewer, was pretty humble and said I didn’t realize how much I was doing wrong. This book was very helpful.
When I mess up with my wife. I apologize and want her to forgive me and tell me I’m not a bad person.
Really, I should want her to tell me how I messed up, but she loves me anyway. She doesn’t hold it against me, she forgives me. She believes I am a good man.
I hate the learning style here. IF you mispronounce the word, your teacher will scold you and tell you “you’re wrong, you’re wrong!” They will publically shame you sometimes.
In America we affirm people. Some teachers never correct. I still remember AP English, Senior year of Highschool. IT was obvious people hadn’t read the book. As they’re asked questions, they just start making things up. The teacher has this puzzled look and can only say “That’s an interesting perspective, I’ve never thought of it that way (or heard that before).”
I do like Positive Reinforcement. I think we should use it. But I think we go too far.
It seems we vale feeling good about ourselves, more than being good.
This is foolishness.
I was reading a review on Shepherding a Child’s heart. One person wrote- The book made me feel bad about myself and how I parent. I already feel bad, I don’t need this book telling me that.
(I also watched an episode of Everybody loves Raymond, where he goes on tv. At first they are all so happy for him. But when he goes back,t hey give him some constructive criticism. The show makes fun of him for being angry they were so nice to him at first, but shows he’d rather have that, than the feedback).
Another reviewer, was pretty humble and said I didn’t realize how much I was doing wrong. This book was very helpful.
When I mess up with my wife. I apologize and want her to forgive me and tell me I’m not a bad person.
Really, I should want her to tell me how I messed up, but she loves me anyway. She doesn’t hold it against me, she forgives me. She believes I am a good man.
I hate the learning style here. IF you mispronounce the word, your teacher will scold you and tell you “you’re wrong, you’re wrong!” They will publically shame you sometimes.
In America we affirm people. Some teachers never correct. I still remember AP English, Senior year of Highschool. IT was obvious people hadn’t read the book. As they’re asked questions, they just start making things up. The teacher has this puzzled look and can only say “That’s an interesting perspective, I’ve never thought of it that way (or heard that before).”
I do like Positive Reinforcement. I think we should use it. But I think we go too far.
It seems we vale feeling good about ourselves, more than being good.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Our American longing
4 weeks til America. Time is going by slowly and quickly at the same time. Quickly b/c there are a lot of things we want/need to do before we go... slowly b/c we can't wait to get there.
i will write some blogs about the joys and adventures of living in Asia, but for now, let me talk about America...
A few weeks ago i asked Soo what she would do if we had one day in America
She said she would go to the Grand Lux, the jamba juice... starbucks for a QT, go shopping, Chipotle... Peruvian food, and maybe a movie...
She included 3 big meals + breakfast and another drink... i think she may have als mentioned dessert at crumbs or at the farmer's market.
She didn't talk about seeing her family or visiting friends...
Usually, when i think of going home it is all about friends... but i can understand her sentiment. The longer i live in Asia the more i miss American culture and food.
We are getting more settled in this place too. Things have normalized. But maybe the fascination of it has worn off too.
When i went home last fall for Ken's wedding, it was the first time i had been in the states in the fall in 5 years! i was actually more excited about watching football than Ken's wedding!
We can watch a lot of tv shows here, especially as the internet speeds get faster and the additions of hulu and youtube, but we still can't watch sports. i have a bunch of old tv shows on dvd ( 8/9 seasons of seinfeld, 1st 6 of scrubs, all of simpsons and friends and Arrested Development, 1st 4 of that 70's show, 1st 3 of Cosby & wings, 1st 2 of King of queens & Mad about you, 1st 3 of entourage & Lost) So we're doing well, but i miss syndication...
i can cook a lil bit now and make food more and more often(using Asian grammar). There are more western restaurants... but i still miss going out, and i still miss the variety of food.
So, when we think of America, we do think of friends- how much easier it will e to call them, and how much easier it will be to see them. We're living a couple miles away from some of our good friends. We'll be living a 1/2 hr west of one of my best friends and a 1/2 hour north of another, and about an hour from abunch of them. So, i can't wait!
But so much more we're looking forward to.
We're going back to the states to have a baby, but i think we more often think about living in the US.
(in no particular order)
1. weekly tv shows with friends
2. weekly Bible study
3. church- seeing people, worshipping, good message
4. meeting new people at church or thru other friends
5. hopefully a weekly lunch with Mark... and maybe also with marc
6. trips to Indy to see friends 2/mo
7. watching whatever is on tv
8. college football
9. college basketball-esp my Boilermakers!
10. listening to music on te radio... in the car
11. Barnes & Noble or Borders... reading books
12. At Panera having a QT
13. ordering a pizza
14. fast internet connections
15. playing basketball
Soo has been craving BBQ lately... so some baby back ribs sound great!
Mediteranean food sounds good... mm cold skim milk! oh yeah! DQ... sweet breakfast foods... cold mike's hard lemonade (i've only drank this like 3 times in my life, but i crave it)... speaking of craving: white castle...freckled lemonades and all you can eat fries from Red Robin...In N out... fast food of any sort... a hot pizza for CPK...
Oh, we miss America!
i will write some blogs about the joys and adventures of living in Asia, but for now, let me talk about America...
A few weeks ago i asked Soo what she would do if we had one day in America
She said she would go to the Grand Lux, the jamba juice... starbucks for a QT, go shopping, Chipotle... Peruvian food, and maybe a movie...
She included 3 big meals + breakfast and another drink... i think she may have als mentioned dessert at crumbs or at the farmer's market.
She didn't talk about seeing her family or visiting friends...
Usually, when i think of going home it is all about friends... but i can understand her sentiment. The longer i live in Asia the more i miss American culture and food.
We are getting more settled in this place too. Things have normalized. But maybe the fascination of it has worn off too.
When i went home last fall for Ken's wedding, it was the first time i had been in the states in the fall in 5 years! i was actually more excited about watching football than Ken's wedding!
We can watch a lot of tv shows here, especially as the internet speeds get faster and the additions of hulu and youtube, but we still can't watch sports. i have a bunch of old tv shows on dvd ( 8/9 seasons of seinfeld, 1st 6 of scrubs, all of simpsons and friends and Arrested Development, 1st 4 of that 70's show, 1st 3 of Cosby & wings, 1st 2 of King of queens & Mad about you, 1st 3 of entourage & Lost) So we're doing well, but i miss syndication...
i can cook a lil bit now and make food more and more often(using Asian grammar). There are more western restaurants... but i still miss going out, and i still miss the variety of food.
So, when we think of America, we do think of friends- how much easier it will e to call them, and how much easier it will be to see them. We're living a couple miles away from some of our good friends. We'll be living a 1/2 hr west of one of my best friends and a 1/2 hour north of another, and about an hour from abunch of them. So, i can't wait!
But so much more we're looking forward to.
We're going back to the states to have a baby, but i think we more often think about living in the US.
(in no particular order)
1. weekly tv shows with friends
2. weekly Bible study
3. church- seeing people, worshipping, good message
4. meeting new people at church or thru other friends
5. hopefully a weekly lunch with Mark... and maybe also with marc
6. trips to Indy to see friends 2/mo
7. watching whatever is on tv
8. college football
9. college basketball-esp my Boilermakers!
10. listening to music on te radio... in the car
11. Barnes & Noble or Borders... reading books
12. At Panera having a QT
13. ordering a pizza
14. fast internet connections
15. playing basketball
Soo has been craving BBQ lately... so some baby back ribs sound great!
Mediteranean food sounds good... mm cold skim milk! oh yeah! DQ... sweet breakfast foods... cold mike's hard lemonade (i've only drank this like 3 times in my life, but i crave it)... speaking of craving: white castle...freckled lemonades and all you can eat fries from Red Robin...In N out... fast food of any sort... a hot pizza for CPK...
Oh, we miss America!
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