The one where goals get in the way of your goals

It's been said "The Main thing is to keep the Main thing the Main thing."

i've discovered recently that I’ve let my goals become my goal, instead of my goal.

In short, i let goals keep me from my goals.

i make goals to accomplish a bigger goal, but get so focused on the smaller goal, that i lose sight of what the big goal is.

Let me give you an example.

I want to encourage my wife.

So, I plan a date. I think thru a lot of ideas. I carefully plan out the details. I include fun, creative things and romantic things, and encouraging things and godly things. I plan it all out.

Then the date comes… and something comes up. Soo isn’t feeling well, or is tired or doesn’t appreciate something I plan.

And I get upset.

Or I push through.

Or I stress the whole time, trying to make everything work.

Initially, my goal was to encourage and love Soo.

But, then my goal became to plan the perfect date.

Or maybe it is to impress Soo.

I’ve also been known to get upset when I planning to take my parens out to eat, and they choose some dive of a restaurant to eat at.

I get lost in my goals, I lose sight of my GOAL

I think we can do this with people, we can do this with God.

The Pharisees, set up all sorts of rules, so they would be holy. They wanted to honor God.

At first.

Then, they got stuck by their rules.

They forgot why they were being so cautious. They forgot why they were doing what they were doing. They got lost in their rules, they lost sight of God.

We do similar things. We want to know God, so we read our Bible and have a Quiet time. Then, somehow, it is more important for us to have a quiet time than to connect with God.

We must sing a song, rather than worship.

We get so stuck on reading, we neglect loving.

Maybe in Evangelism too. We get so stuck on getting the message out, we forget the real goal is for the person to come to Christ- not just making a presentation. Or we’re so intent on being relevant and sensitive, we never get to the Gospel message.

The goal becomes the goal instead of the goal.

So, if you’re planning a date this Valentine’s Day, remember why you’re doing it.

If you’re spending time with God today, remember why.

Don’t let your goals, get in the way of your GOALS.

Keep the main thing, the main thing.

The thing about the church

The church these days draws a lot of crriticism.

Many say they follow Jesus, but don't want to be called a Christian and don't attend Church.

Really, the Church has been under attack for some time now in America - and let's be honest, the church has been under attack since it started.

i was reading Doctrine yesterday and they cited these statistics from They like Jesus but not the church (or also "UnChristian").

  "... they view the church as antihomosexual (91%) judgmental (87%), hypocritical (85%), old-fashioned (78%), too involved in politics (75%), out of touch with reality (72%), insensitive to others (70%) and boring (68%)."

I’m not sure who they’re polling here however. I would imagine that some people would have a higher view. If it is ony people who don’t attend church, then this should be expected.

You may or may not think this data is accurate, but it is something to consider…

However,  we may go overboard.

If you’d ask many people how they’d want to be described, they’d probably say the following

·       Loving (as in accepting of people)

·       Relevant

·       Fun

·       Helpful (as in helping poor, and giving money away to charities)

And they’d probably say something about the early church and how great it was.

How would the early church be described?

·       Radical & Crazy

·       Passionate - about God

·       Loving – as in generous & helpful (not what the Romans said about how they helped people)

·       Devoted to prayer & God’s Word

·       Full of Faith

·       Diverse

·       Strange

Is this really how people want their church to be described as?

Would the people who give such negative criticism of the modern church said much different of the church back then?

While we want to be able to reach out to people and we want to reflect Christ well, we can’t be slaves to outsiders opinions of us.

We need to honor Christ.

So what would Christ want to say of the church?

Well, we could look to Revelation 2 & 3 and John 17…

1.     Love God 1st

2.     Worship & Fear God

3.     Love others – as in giving & caring for others

4.     Unified

5.     Holy

6.     Know & Follow God’s Word & commands

7.     In the world, but not of the world

8.     Passionate & Zealous for God

9.     Diverse & going to the world

10.  Faithful & full of Faith

11.  Face opposition & persecution

Here are some thoughts

1.     People want the church to be more generous and giving to the poor and needy and helping… but they themselves don’t want to give

2.     A lot of churches are so keen on being relevant and fun and welcoming, they miss the main point

3.     Jesus tells His disciples to expect persecution. Yet, most Christians and most churches run away from persecution. They don’t talk about suffering for Christ so much. Maybe as in self-afflicted suffering of sacrifice, but not suffering that comes because we follow Christ.

… should we be surprised that people mock and criticize the church and try to stop it from fulfilling their core priniciples?

4.     Most churches are inward focused. In the book Radical, David Platt points out a church bulletin that is lauding that it sent $250,000 for foreign relief- which is good, but then in comparison, it also includes a praise for raising $12 million for the building fund (actually I don’t remember the exact numbers, but it is comprable).
I found an interesting stat that only 10% of all Christian giving goes to missions in the least churched places.
More interesting: In America, each year, more money is spent on dog food than on missions.

5.     Jesus does want us to reach out. He does want us to accept all people. He does want us to love well. But the goal of the church isn’t the mission, it is worship & honor of God.

What should you look for in a church?

Here’s what I’d say

1.     Good, sound Biblical Doctrine at the core
everything else has to come from a foundation on the Bible
Should result in good teaching also

2.     A good community
We need each other. You can listen to a sermon online or read a book for teaching. You can sing in your car. You need to find a church where you can feel connected and encouraged – as well as where you can serve.
This may mean small groups, may not. Programs does not mean community. Find a place where you experience love & the body of Christ.
It probably also needs to be close by, so you can see people throughout the week, not just on Sundays

3.     A place to worship
Church is primarily a place for Christians to gather and worship God. There are many ways, find a place you can worship

4.     A church that reaches out
Missions, service activities, outreaches, etc

5.     Diversity & Unity
Jesus calls all people to Himself. Not just Jews. Not just whites. Not just young people. Not just old people. Not just cool people.

6.     Sacraments, etc
We need places to be baptized and take communion. We need opportunities to give and to serve.

7.     Look at Leadership
In the end, you need to trust the Leadership. I believe there should be a group of leaders, not just one. Elders. Male Leadership at the top. And above all, they must be led by the Spirit. You don’t want a place that puts on a good program. You want a church that has Christ as head and is led by the Holy Spirit. That doesn’t mean unorganized and/or spontaneous, but that the leadership depends on God in prayer and faith and is committed to God’s word and God’s glory.

Church is a good thing.

It may not always be fun, but it can be. I like church. I have fun at church.

The reality is church is the people there… including you. The problem may not be the church, it may be you.

In my previous post I wrote how we hear what we want to hear.

If we are looking for something bad or weird or boring, we’ll find it. If we don’t talk with people, we won’t connect. If we don’t prepare our hearts before church, we won’t get much out of it. IF we don’t sleep well the night before, we may fall asleep. If our minds are fixed on something else, we won’t treasure Christ, won’t enjoy church.

Give church a chance. See what you can do to make it resemble what Christ is looking for.

Honor God.

The thing about hearing

The other day we were driving using the GPS. Soo told me- you're supposed to turn here. i was like i know, i heard it.
The problem was, i was in the right lane- and i was told to turn left. i thought it said right.
Does left sound like right? No. Then why did i think that?
i had already assumed which direction i was supposed to turn.

i hear what i want to hear.

We do this often. We miss-hear because we assume, because we're not really listening or listening to what we want to hear.
We do this particulary with the Bible.
Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God

For one thing, we miss things. We think we know what it says. We have heard the stories over and over again, that we begin to overlook things. We assume we know what it says, so we don't read that carefully. We begin to scan and skim the Scripture, instead of carefully observing.

There's so much to the Word. In the book Living by the Book, Howard Hendricks tells of his class he teaches where he asks his students to make 25 verses on one verse... then the next day 25 more... then 25 more.. and 25 more. The more you look at a passage, the more you can see... and i'm not talking interpretation - but observation


The 2nd problem is in interpretation. We often interpret the passage the way we want to. Sometimes because of something we heard before. Sometimes because we don't want to see what it really says.
We interpret based on our presuppositions.


Despite what the Bible says, we don't hear what God wants to say, because we're only listening to what we want to hear. And even when He is clear, we hear our own assumptions & own desires instead of what God says.

Let's be careful as we approach God's Word. Let's put aside our assumption & presuppositions and prejudices. Let's open our ears & open our eyes so we can see what God's Word says and hear what God speaks.


Lastly,  when we hear what it says, we need to do it- or it is worthless. When GPS tells us a direction to go, if we don't listen, don't follow - we don't get where we need to go. Same with the Bible, we need to not just hear, but listen & do. James 1:21 says do not be hearers merely, but doers.
Hear, Listen, Obey.

Mook on roots of sin

i sin.
a lot.

i annoy my wife. i upset friends. i'm a jerk.
Really, i'm an idiot. Most of the time, i don't even realize what i do. And often i think i am justified- ok, most times i think i am. Even after i know it is wrong, i feel a bit justified in my sin... that's how sinful i am.

My wife and i have conflict. And i find most of my good friends and i have conflict too.

Mark Driscol tweeted today: “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” - Samuel Butler

Maybe we don't expect anything from acquaintances, but we expect a lot from our friends.
i think that is a big reason for conflicts, expectations aren't met  and/or not clear and/or are unreal.

But i'm discovering recently more.


i let my insecurity fuel my feelings and my actions.

i allow my selfish desires become so important, that i justify my sin. i am so self-centered, i expect the other person to go out of their way to meet my needs and when they don't i get upset.

i guess i shouldn't be too surprised by this- isn't this what James 4:1-2 say
      What causes quarrels & fights among you? Is it not that your passions are at war within you. You desire and do not have, so you murduer. You covet and cannot attain so you fight & quarrel.

True.

Most of the time i am upset with someone, it is not because of them, but because of something else i am feeling or wanting.
i am so insecure and prideful, that if something they say/do or don't do strikes at that, i get upset.

i need to recognize my insecurities. And i need to recognize self-centeredness. i need to take focus off of me and what i want and look at the other person. i need to embrace humility and believe truth and believe the best in others. And give grace, when i feel like dealing out punishment.
i have no right to demand anyway.

Mook on Confessing sin (or how God is not like a puppy)

You may have heard it said there is nothing God uses more in your sanctification than marriage, and I agree.

It’s not that marriage brings out the worst in you – it just reveals it!

I see all my sin and self-centeredness and selfishness and pride…  and filth and yuck!

And last week? Well, I saw a lot of it!

Soo forgave me and she accepts me, but it was still hard.

I could still see the grief and pain on her face. I still felt distant. I still felt bad, I still felt awful.

Then I was talking to Halle… and I thought, maybe this is why we like babies and puppies so much.

See, a baby may cry for a few minutes in the middle of the night, or may not particulary like how you hold them, but… they don’t really reject you.

And a dog, well they may whine for some food while you’re eating or may dislike a spanking, but they always like you.

Even if you upset a baby or a puppy- they seem to have short memories.

They like cuddling with you. They give little smiles.

And they don’t talk back.

They don’t say “but…” or give you looks to let you know how disappointed they are.

And I began thinking, maybe this is why I like God so much.

I tell Him all my sin, and He forgives me. He embraces me. He doesn’t hold my sin over me. I don’t feel guilt or shame at all.

And while some of those things are true, I think I discovered I may need to take a new look at confessing sin…

1.     God hates sin. He abhors it.

It’s not a mistake, that He just looks over. It’s not something He can just say “What? Don’t worry about it”

I think that is how I usually picture the whole process in my head.

Like the sin doesn’t bother him that much.

2.     Sin grieves God

This goes with the above. Just because I can’t see the grief & disappoinment and sadness, doesn’t mean God isn’t grieved. Eph 4:30 exhorts us: Do not grieve the Holy Spirit.

Our sin causes God pain.

3.     God really is gentle with us, gracious with us. He forgives us & accepts us.

And this is not something to take lightly. He knows all our faults and all our sins (Psal 139). And He loves us anyway. He accepts us. He holds no record of wrongs (I Cor 13) and all fear is cast out (I John 4). He doesn’t deal harshly with us.

In the book Prodigal God, Tim Keller makes some observations on the story of the prodigal son. When the Father comes toward the son, he doesn’t say “Ew, you stink. Go wash up and I will give you a big hug.” Nor does he give him a big hug and then say wash up now and take my coat it stinks now too. He embraces him. He wants him to clean up, but not because he is disgusted by him

4.     He really does want repentance

Throughout the Old Testament, God rebukes His people. They offer sacrifices- but they are vain. Jesus rebukes the religious leaders likewise. They worship, but the hearts are far away. Words, even words of confession, are in vain if our hearts and actions aren’t impacted.

We are called to repent
When the women caught adultery is not stoned, Jesus says "Neither do i condemn you" but He also adds "Go, and sin no more."
Jesus lived among the sinners, but He never condoned what they did and certainly did not enable them to sin

5.     God longs to show mercy

Even in all His anger in the Old Testament in Jeremiah and elsewhere, He is looking for opportunities to show mercy and grace and love

6.     All of this is possible because of Jesus.

Though God hates sin, He punishes our sin on Jesus. Though sin grieves Him, He looks at the righteousness of Jesus. And Jesus stands us an advocate for us.
Thru the death of Christ, we are free from all condemnation- all guilt, all shame. Jesus took all our shame, all our guilt upon Him on the Cross! We are accepted, loved.

Jesus is now living in us and sent His Spirit so we can repent and turn to God. Jesus provides the example for us how to live and the Holy spirit is making us more like Christ

And we are shown just how much God longs to show mercy, when the Father sent His Son, and the Son freely gave His life for us

So, while God is gracious, kind- and all I need to do is confess, I am already forgiven. I shouldn’t take my sin so lightly.

I am not just talking to a wall. I am not talking to the air. I am certainly not talking to a puppy. And while Ricky Bobby may pray to baby Jesus- He is not a little baby, He is King of Kings, God Almighty. He is meek & mild, ferocious & wild. He is a gentle thunder. He is the lion & the lamb – a lion-like lamb and a lamb-like lion (as John Piper would say).

We don’t just confess to get things off our chest, and not to feel better about ourselves.

We confess to renew our relationship with God and allow the holy spirit to work in our lives and make us more like Christ and to relish in the mercy & grace & kindness & goodness & love of our Lord.

Lord, be glorified!