Lessons from a Lost dog: God's heart for the lost

It was about a year ago this time that Soo & i were heading back to America to have our baby. Soo was entering her 7th month of pregnancy. We would be back in the states for about 8 months.
So, we planned to take our dog as well. It took a lot of money and a lot of time figuring out which flights we could take her on as well as what documents we needed to get her overseas. But we worked it all out.

That is, until we actually started flying.
Our initial flight was delayed 2 hours and so we arrived at our connecting city a little late. We came an extra day early because there was some more paperwork that needed to be done for the dog. We had a plan.

So we arrived at the airport with our dog in tow. We were pretty worried about her and so quickly went to the baggage claim and asked about our dog.

We came to the desk and they were like “uh… oh, it’s your dog… well she got out of her cage and when we opened the door she ran out”

My first thought: “This only happens to me” And I imagined the episode of Seinfled when Kramer is running next to the plane.

I offered to go out and call her, but they brushed me aside and told us not to worry and assured us they would get her back quickly.

I was laughing at first, but soon the laughter turned to worry, before it eventually turned to tears.

This ordeal was an extremely hard thing, but God used it in our lives. We believe He is sovereign in all things, and even with the things we see & learned, i am sure there is so much more.

i will post a number of things God taught me thru this lost dog. The first thing is God's heart for the lost.

i cry out that i would have such deep concern for the souls of men, those who are lost- as my heart was distressed for this lost puppy.

When i posted on facebook about our lost puppy- i don't think i ever got as many comments before. People were concerned for us. And we even more so than them.
We cried, our hearts ached. We begged, we pleaded, we prayed earnestly. We spent time and energy. Our hearts were spent.

i immediately realized (before all of that), that this is how God wants me to feel about the lost. And it is how i want to feel about the lost.

God's heart breaks for the lost. He loves the lost. He wants to help them and rescue them. He cares about them and wants to save them, reconcile them. Each person means so much to Him

Yet i can be so complacent. And i can care more about my dog than i do about the eternal destiny of people around me. My head knows the need, but my heart does not ache.

God convicted me right away, within a few minutes, but he was not done with me yet..

Our Hong Kong experience

Soon after pregnancy, Soo started experiencing some sharp pains in her stomach accompanied by chills & aches. I took her & Halle to the emergency room, and soon after we checked in, all the pain and everything went away.

The doctor attributed it to gastritis and our doctor furthermore gave her nexium for heart-burn.

The attacks would come every couple weeks… we began to assume it was something she ate… as we cut certain items out she seemed better… she cut out all tomato-sauce based items & all spicy food… then all citrus & acidic fruits & foods… and coffee… basically, she couldn’t eat anything except rice & grilled chicken…

The problems never seemed to go away… and after some other concerns we went to the local doctor here.

We have been blessed to find an American doctor at the Red cross hospital. We knew of the OBGYN last year, but didn’t know about the regular doctor until this year. He is great.

And it is so cheap here!

Doctor’s visit: $3

Blood Tests: $3

Cat Scan, X-rays: $5

Prescription medicine: $3

Even an overnight hospital stay is only like $17

After checking out Soo, he thought gallstones… but we had to do a few more tests… there is another foreign surgeon here who could have removed the gallbladder, but some of the other tests we needed to go somewhere else.

This is part of the experience of living here… leaving the city or country to go to the hospital

so we got in contact with a hospital, set an appointment… and made plans to go to Hong Kong…

The doctor there seemed to know what he was talking about and insightful.

The scariest part for Soo was the fact she would be put under… she had a gastropacy done here with no medicine. Usually in the states they’ll at least give a local anisthetic… here they could prescribe a pill… but that was too much… so she did the gastropacy w/o anything…. But hey, she gave birth without any medicine either!

So, we went to HK and Soo got knocked out. The doctor put 4 keyholes in her, removed the stones & sucked out her gallbladder… they gave us a DVD of the surgery… but we haven’t watched it... Movie night anyone?

They brought a jar of the stones to the room… we weren’t like Joey when he got his kidney stones… but we did look at it… I counted the stones: 81!

81 stones!

That’s a lot.

Soo was also scared about Halle. How would I be able to take care of Halle & her? And what if Halle won’t eat? She doesn’t really take a bottle, and doesn’t sleep well away from home…

However, God was gracious!

We fed Halle formula for the first time & she loved it! She took the bottle without any problems.

Actually, if Soo was around, she wouldn’t want the bottle, but if not, she wanted the bottle all the time.

We were also blessed by Joy Ford. A person we didn’t know; And a person my parents had never met, only corresponded with thru email.

That is the body of Christ!

We really felt God’s hand upon us & the blessing of the body of Christ thru her.

Even though some family were not willing to help because it may be too much trouble, someone we didn’t know went out of her way to come help us & went the extra mile to bring us food & stuff we didn’t ask for, but knew would bless us.

Our true family is our family in Christ

Unfortunately because of the procedures, the day before the surgery Soo couldn’t eat anything, and the first few days after she didn’t have much of an appetite… too bad, b/c going to Hong Kong means a lot of good food…

Before we went, Soo was convinced after the surgery she’d be able to move around and do whatever she wanted… I kept on telling her we probably won’t be able to do much…. After the surgery, Soo vented she just had surgery and I was planning too much…

Still, Soo loved HK. She called it one of her favorite places.

I hated it. I would never want to go back

Hong Kong is expensive.

Hong Kong is hot.

Hong Kong is big & busy.

We were at the mid-levels, which means it was just a series of hills…. The places we were going were supposed to be walking distance… but it was all uphill, thru tons of traffic, and winding roads… and it was hot.

I never sweated so much in my life.

The taxis charged for baggage.

I don’t like big cities.

Still, Soo got to go to H&M and we bought some toys for Halle at Toys R Us.

We got Bubba Gump’s Shrimp (Amazing!), pizza, salad, Fo, Dimsum, Italian & Steak… and of course McDonalds.

The favorite though may have been going to the grocery store and getting deli meat… and of course, my favorite: Tim-Tams!

We got to go to the Peak for a little bit… though I don’t like it so much, Hong Kong is a beautiful place.

We also went to one of the small islands before the surgery as it  was much cheaper there…

Anyway… the HK trip has made me think of a lot of memories… and thoughts

1.     I miss riding mopeds in Chiangmai with Billy Van Elk

2.     I miss going to mid-year conferences in Thailand… last year we were in the states having a baby… year before we got married… and the year before it was in Malaysia…

3.     We should have planned better… or what if we got married in June, had the baby in May… at the very least I could have gone to Mid-year last year and been there when Ken came… been there for Asian friends leaving EA… and then been back this summer for CSU to hear Francis Chan & go see David crowder and Tenth Ave North… and we would have been around in the fall & I could have led the team, wouldn’t have start all over…

4.     The ferry reminded me of Turkey… could you imagine us living there.. taking the ferry every day… hm…

5.     Cold showers reminded me of WW02… taking showers outside… cool showers on hot days & warm showers on cool days outside… it was pretty sweet

6.     Of course I’m in HK, so I got to think of Kelvin Ng

7.     With all that, how about Ghandi’s 5…

8.     And I thought about the fun with Adam Anderson when I went back in 05… the girls were fun too and the students… but Adam & I bonded… got cheesesteaks and hung out weekly… joked around a lot…

9.     This place is a lot like Macinac Island in Michigan… no cars, bikes, lots of small shops… no fudge though

10. Ah, Traverse city was a fun summer… and then today Soo gave me & hug after getting out of the water… reminded me of when Chris Woods said he would accept a hug after being out in the rain and Matt Sfura jumped at the chance… what a memory…

11. This place is like a retreat center… retreats used to be so much fun!

12. Also reminded of the dream I had a few weeks ago: I was on a summer project in India… but hald the students were Americans, the other half were Indians… but we were on one summer project, but like a state-side project… students didn’t realize how lucky they were… Mitch Sheehan was the project cook… Soo & I were there- no baby I think.. Christine Major… not sure who else

13. I don’t think I’ve ever sweated so much in my life… my goodness it is hot here! And the uphill climb didn’t help.

14. Nutella tastes good when it is fresh

15. Saw Ring-tailed lemurs, which of course reminded me of Steve Tanzek & the TC project again… 15 years later & I still remember

16. I really like sitting in starbucks, drinking a frappacino & writing & reading…

17. Whenever I feel like I’m going to get a lot of reading done, I read nothing at all

18. Wow, I miss deli meats, seeing the case was like walking into heaven

19. I don’t like big cities

20. Can’t wait to get home… where at least we know where things are, and feel more freedom to be normal

Well, that’s me processing our trip…

Thankful for…

1.     Soo getting the surgery and hopefully can eat now and won’t have much pain

2.     There were no complications with the surgery or big problems created by the kidney stones

3.     Experiencing God’s grace & kindness thru the body of Christ as Joy, a complete stranger, but sister in Christ- came to help

4.     God taking care of us, getting us where we needed to go

5.     Everyone’s prayers and concerns for Soo & us

6.     God providing for all our financial needs, that even with all these expenses, we have what we need

7.     Halle taking the bottle & sleeping well while there

8.     Being able to bond with the baby more – as I got to feed Halle, helped me feel closer

9.     God using this to build Soo & I’s marriage

10. Tim-Tams

11. Good food

12. Being able to communicate with all of you!

the one with only a week left

We only have one week left in Muncie…actually like 3 days… and really just two weeks left in the states… where did the time go?

As the time winds down, I wonder

1.     what happened to the time

and

2.     how can we maximize the time left

As well as, what do I absolutely NEED to do before we go… and there is a lot of that too… but a lot we can’t do

And so…  I’m trying to

1.     call everyone I know- we’re on the same time zone or close to it at least

2.     see people and get some closure with folks

3.     read the books in the bookstores

4.     eat the food I can’t later

(Except, I’m not doing that too much… a little, but not really)

A couple weeks ago our Pastor was preaching out of Ecclesiastics and it made me think… if I knew I only had one week left to live what would I do

1.     I’d want to make sure Soo & Halle knew how much I loved them

a.     I would be spending a lot of time with them

b.     Sharing with them how much I love them

c.      And writing notes they could read later

d.     And I’d make sure everything was in order for them

2.     I’d be spending time with my family

3.     I’d be seeing friends and calling them up on the phone

4.     I’d be spending time in prayer & worship

5.     I’d eat all my favorite food- it wouldn’t matter how unhealthy or how expensive

6.     I’d be sharing Christ with my friends and even strangers

7.     I’d be writing down all sorts of thoughts I want to share with the world for their edifcation and God’s glory

8.     I’d probably still watch Purdue play

9.     I probably wouldn’t sleep much- who could? and why bother?

We probably should live every day, every week, every month as if it were our last. Our last time we might see a person… or the last opportunity we have… or y’know, live with an eternal perspective… maybe as Kris Allen (ok the Script) sings “Live like we’re dying!”

But there is a bit of a problem with that…

1.     We wouldn’t sleep

2.     We wouldn’t be taking care of our bodies that much- who would exercise or eat well?

3.     We wouldn’t be working at the development stuff that takes time – like reading

But we would

1.     Take advantage of our time with people

2.     Seize more opportunities – especially with people

3.     Not fight over petty things & resolve conflicts & speak encouraging words

4.     Not waste as much time on meaningless things

5.     Be more courageous

The way I’d like to answer the question “If you only had a week to live, what would you do?”:

Nothing different.

(Unfortunately, I can’t).

I want to live my life in such a way that honors God, exalts His glory, builds His kingdom.

I want to love others well, bless them, encourage them, challenge them in their faith, and helps them feel encouraged & loved.

I want to prioritize my family and those who love me well. And put others before myself

I want to enjoy life and all that God gives

I want to be courageous & full of faith.

I want to praise God all the time.

I want to live in light of my purpose, mission, vision, values & priorities

I want to live in light of eternity.

I want to glorify God. I want love Him & love others.

How would you spend your last week in America?

How would you spend your last week in life?

How would your life be different if you lived with an eternal perspective.

My life recently

i haven't written a personal update on the blog in a long time... but i kinda feel like it... i mean our life is kinda crazy and kinda interesting... maybe...

We're in the stretch run, winding down our time in the states. We really could be leaving anytime now.
Tentatively we're planning for the end of this month... but we don't have tickets yet... because we don't have our visa yet... because we haven't got the forms we need yet.

i may be able to reserve tickets now... but i'm not sure if we can change dates or not (though i was informed a friend did it). i would just do it by faith( this is an expression, not an actual step of faith decision)... but we thought we would have had our visa by at least now... originally thinking we would have had it a month ago. We started the process in early January... it's a long complicated story.

Nonetheless, it would be really weird if we were leaving this week... leaving Muncie at the end of this week is hard enough... where did the time go?


Well, February FLEW by. Starting with giving 2 talks in 3 days, and 3 sermons on one day... then 2 weeks in California - which certainly wasn't enough for Soo's family... and a couple quick days in Houston - and the month was gone.

We came back and packed 3 big bags to send overseas with some friends who headed overseas last week. We actually packed one bag in California, that we never unpacked, just sent straight over. So we actually packed 4 suitcases already. The 4th we'll be sending with my parents when they hopefully come in May.

Babies are so SMALL. So, why do they need SO MUCH STUFF?
Seriously. 2 bags are pretty much all her clothes, another 1 is toys, and stuff for her... and we still have a ton for her... oh and a big bag of clothes we'll need when she turns 3...

So, 3 bags already sent, we get 4 more when we go + a big carry-on & our computers... then my parents will bring 2 or 3 more... and i'm not sure if that will be enough!

i hate packing. i hate traveling.
And yet this is what our life is.

some thoughts on packing

• one of the more interesting things is repacking a bag after being gone for a couple weeks. i see all the things we never used at all. i didn't need that extra pair of jeans or a few shirts... and when Soo's parents run a laundromat, we really didn't need much clothes at all
• Even more sad is seeing things we packed and didn't use for 6 months... oh well
• i always hurt my back when i pack
• i roll all the clothes...always... and pack and repack... but pretty much every bag hits right between 47-52lbs!
• i try to pack things together too. Sometimes things have to be split up because of size/weight... but if i can i put items together
• i always try to pack one bag with stuff i might possibly need to get stuff out of... and/or think thru the stuff i want to wear so i can pack it in a bag... when we went to Houston for 3 days we tried to pack one suitcase just for Houston, i thought that would be easy. i picked out the clothes i'd wear. Soo picked out 8 outfits for herself and 12+ for Halle... hm. girls & boys are different

We really do live out of a suitcase

It was also pretty weird to be packing clothes for Halle for when she'll be one... and two... and even three... wow! Will she be that big that soon?

As for life...

• i feel like i wish i woulda done more stuff here with people and taken more advantage of my time here... but also feel like there was not much more we coulda done
• i think i may be ready to go back to East Asia... but not really. i don't miss the food. i don't miss the language. i miss the work. i miss the routine. i miss being part of a team. i get excited about seeing people again and going certain places. But i don't really miss Asia
• Soo is doing a bit better... she just seems to go from one problem to the next. Bad Morning Sickness --> Labor-->Post-labor pain-->Terrible Stomach troubles --> bug bite on finger. She has been avoiding a lot of food, which means i don't eat it either...
• been trying to read and write a lot, as well as enjoy time with friends and get ready to go

i have several blogs now
http://mookball.blogspot.com
for sports
http://mookiesmooviesandmoosic.blogspot.com
for other entertainment stuff
i want to start one for books, called mook's books
and i may even update my devo site from time to time
xanga.com/mookieslildevo

i should update that one the most, but really, i'm just writing about sports all the time

Well, that is a snapshot.

Mook on Recongizing our wretchedness and embracing our awfulness

7, 8 years ago i came to realization: the more people get to know me, the less they like me.

i probably felt it before, but i knew it then. The more people got to know me, the less they liked me.

They began to see the opinions and not just the easy-to-get-along with guy. They saw the serious side, not just the fun side - or vice versa. They had to deal with me and my depression, not just my laughter.
Yes, the more time people spent with me, the less they wanted to. The more they got to know me, the less they liked me.

And for years i have been battling that.
i conferred it with friends. Some verified it, other tried not to give in, just to prove me wrong.
i tried to "escape" the lie. - No, it can't be true! People like me!

But i've realized, this is a losing battle.

And really, i should not be surprised by it.

Why should i be surprised by this?
See, as people get to know me more, the more they see of my filth. That is, my sin.
i can hide my sin a lil bit, but not for long.

Every part of me has been stained by the fall.
i am not utterly completely bad, but i am totally depraved.

Not only that, but i am the product of living in a fallen world.
And people who respond are also fallen.


So... the more people get to know me, the less they tend to like me.

Now, Soo and some other friends perhaps will fight against this. She will affirm and tell me all the things that are good about me.
And it is true, some people like me - even after they get to know me.

But this is just like putting white snow on top of a big pile of poop.
The sin is still there. My fallenness is there.


i know, i know, i've shared this before.

but i'll say it again.

Instead of ignoring all that yuckiness and looking for good. i need to recognize my wretchedness and embrace my awfulness and see how difficult it is to love me. i am not lovely or lovable. i am disgusting and a mess.


The wonder isn't how easy it is for people to stop liking me or get upset with me. The wonder is that i am loved at all!

This is The Gospel.
i need the Gospel.

i am wretched, but God saved me.
i am awful, but i am liked.
i am disgusting, but God delights in me.
i am difficult, but the body of Christ deals with me and helps me.

We need the Gospel in our community. We need to extend the Gospel to others. And we need to embrace the Gospel.
Stop making much of ourselves and start making much of God and His Gospel.

the thing about activities

What do you do for fun?

What activities define you?

A couple days ago, Soo & I were going through His Needs, Her Needs the other day and came across a section of listing recreational activities to do together

Soo came up with 11, I came up with 45

I was pretty specific in most instances, though I did combine some.

I went back and listed them in order… then decided to lump some together – and still had 20.

The thing is, most of them were not things I do very often or do at all anymore.

Most of my favorite things are things I used to do- when I was in college, or younger at least.

I mean, I didn’t put down the highschool stuff… but I am getting old

How often do I play basketball anymore? Do I even play catch?

Of course, some things require groups of people – like Ultimate… or even freezetag… and other things you can only do when it is warm or in certain places that have the facilities like golf, driving range, mini-golf, raquetball, ping-pong

These days what do I do for fun?

1.     sit in a coffee shop/bookstore/panera & read (or really any place and read)

2.     watch sports

3.     watch tv shows

4.     watch movies

5.     write

6.     hang out with friends (and talk about babies)

7.     Settlers of Catan

but when I look back, the most enjoyable times were

1.     talking with a small group of people about life & God (maybe at a restaurant or a starbucks)

2.     playing basketball

3.     Late night conversations (maybe at dennys or steak n shake)

4.     discussing theology

5.     Ultimate or Football

6.     Prayer & Praise

7.     Tv shows like Seinfeld, Simpsons, scrubs

8.     Watching sports

9.     Discussing tv shows or movies

10. Playing catch (baseball or football)

11. Ping-pong

12. Watching bad movies & making fun of it

This morning (the day I wrote this) I was playing with Halle and asked her if she would be more like her mom or like her dad.

As I thought about that, I wondered what activities make me stand out? What is my niche

I first thought of the friends episode where Emma says her “first word” and it was a scientific word and it made Ross so happy… then I thought of the other episode when they were talking about how jokes are Chandler’s thing

On friends –it is so easy. Chandler is all about humor & jokes. Ross is all about science & history. Joey is all about his looks (or sex) and having a good time.

Even with real life friends, it can be easy to pick out.

For Soo, she is artistic, and likes shopping and is hospitable & serving and all about food.

I can think of other friends who are all about singing praise or others who are all about theology or all about reading or all about sports.

But what about me?

I’d like to think I’m all about God- but that’s not really true.

Some may think I’m all about missions. I don’t know there either

I used to be a sportsnut – but I’m not quite there anymore (or maybe I am)

What actitvity sticks out? Wasting time? Procrastinating? Eating junk food?

Maybe the better question is: What do I want to stick out? What activities do I want to define me? How do I want to be remembered or known?

How about you?

What is your niche? What activities define you?

How do you want to be known?

And I’m curious what do you think sticks out about me?

And what do you do for fun?

Comments welcome and appreciated

My Values

After doing my chazown (see previous post) and looking over my life and some thought
i came up with these values

I value…

[edit]

most important: glorifying & honoring God & loving God & following Christ - and most specifically as known thru the Bible

1.     Knowing God
intimately
  and rightly
in ALL things

That is, I want to know God, I want to see God I want to experience God – in every circumstance, everything I read, everything I watch, everything I do – and in every conversation- I want to know God better, talk about God, see what God is doing.
Most importantly, I want to have intimate knowledge of God
And secondly, I want it to be truth

2.     True Community – that is Christ-centered, Authentic Community
that develops lasting friendships
 which are both deep and fun

Friendships should be places where we can share vulnerably, openly and honestly

I want to be some one who cares, and I want others around me to care too

I want conversations to be deep

And I want to share a lot of laughs and have a lot of fun

Friendships are very important to me & I believe Community is vital to growth and knowing God

3.     God’s Glory in the Nations

4.     Surrender to the Lordship of Christ

5.     Faith

6.     Prayer & Praise

7.     Ease

Let’s be honest here: I want life to be easy.

Esp in relationships

And I will choose the easy way to do things, always.

The previous values come first… so if it goes against God, if it deters true community, if it keeps me from knowing God, then…

8.     Helping others Grow

Really, the other values include that- esp #2… but also certainly #4… and when I say grow, I mean #1…& #2-4

9.     Inclusion & Empowerment (with Freedom to Fail)

This is what I needed, and what I want to give to others
I suppose this could be in #2 or in #6

10. Fun/joy/laughter

11. Remembering/Reflecting

12. Self-discovery & self-evaluation