the one on July 1st

A lot has happened in the last 4+ months... a lot to be thankful for.

But right now, i just want to thank God for today.

Today i am thankful for...
1. The opportunity to go to church - that is the freedom to go to church
2. God created us for community, and gives us opportunity to fellowship
3. God has united us as one body
4. Our church we have been attending here: New Life Presbyterian. It has been a great body. Good Teaching, Leads to worship, it has been great
5. That our church has child-care, so Soo & i can actually listen to the message and worship God.
6. i am thankful for all those who serve at our church, and accross the world, those who serve the church - those who watch our kids, and serve in other ways too
7. i am thankful for my boy Big Ben Pitchford, who i talked with yesterday- who is one of those serving at his church. i am thankful for his faith, his growing faith, his active faith- that he is involved in his church, serving there, seeking to share Christ at his work, using the money he makes to serve God's Kingdom, and loving his wife and following God


i hope i can get back into this, now that 2012 is half-over...

the one after a long hiatus

i started off the new year with consecutive posts for over 3 weeks... pretty good!
Then something happened... and just like that no posts for over 2 weeks.

It is amazing to me how quickly a good habit can be broken and bad habits built.

Now you may not think this a great habit, but the habit of thinking thru things i am thankful for was good for me. i have a goal of writing over a thousand things. i would like to do something every day.
i am sure i do say thanks to God each day - i pray for meals, etc... but it is still good to record...

How did this streak start... well, one day the power went out. i'm not sure when it came back on, but it went out late in the evening.
Stuff like that used to happen ALL the time. One time it happened when we stayed up til 3am to watch a football game, and at 3:15 the power went out.
Fortunately, that doesn't happen so much anymore.
i am thankful for that!

Then we went out of town for a two day trip.
And recently life has been crazy as we pack and sell things.
Life has been stressful... but there is a lot to be thankful for.

Today i am thankful for
1. Electricity. i mean, imagine if there was no electricity. i wouldn't be up right now... i wouldn't have a computer to type on... We are so dependant on electricity. i am thankful we have it.

2. i am thankful how easy it is to access electricity. Wheni would visit India there were scheduled blackouts every day. On the campus here, the lights go off at 10:45...

3. internet... it is crazy the things we can do these days: shop online, watch games, see the news, email...

4. A Secure line on the internet so i can communicate with friends

5. my wife. i know i mentioned her before... maybe often. But i am thankful for Soo always being with me and supporting me and knowing i can count on her

6. Being able to sell some stuff before we leave

7. All God has provided for us- that we have so much to sell

8. That i can trust God will provide again!

9. time to get things done

10. blogs

i will write more about our packing & selling experience later... for now i wanted to get back on track

the one on our anniversary

He who finds a wife, finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord
   ~ Proverbs 18:22

Remembering our anniversary is as easy as 1.23...

Soo has survived 2 years of being married to me... she deserves a medal...

So today, of course, i am thankful for...

1. i found a wife... God has shown me favor

2. Soo. she is not just a wife, she is my friend & lover. Many daughters have done well, but she excels them all. Not any woman would do, God prepared Soo especially for me

3. The privilege & honor to be a husband. Of all the millions of men in the world, God chose me to be Soo's husband - to serve & love her - of which i do a horrible job

4. For 2 years with Soo.
    They haven't all been fun moments. There have been conflicts & tears. There have been misunderstandings and frustrations. i wouldn't trade a moment (Though at points i want a redo).

5. Soo's patience, grace & forgiveness

6. A wonderful wedding with wonderful friends, a great photographer and good weather... even if the catering was awful - at least we got a taco truck

7. An amazing honeymoon in Prague & Paris

8. God's gift & design of marriage

9. for all the relationships that didn't work out before Soo

10. That God is with us in marriage, leading us and taking care of us

11. That God is using marriage to refine us, show us sin and make us more like Christ

12. For the love Christ has for the church, which is so much greater than i have for my wife

Thank You Lord for Soo, for our marriage, for this family.
You are good

the one with an old friend

This afternoon was rough. We had a long conversation with our landlord that didn't go over too well.

But God was good to us, and allowed us to connect with an old friend, and it was so encouraging

Today i am thankful for...

1. To be able to see my old friend after 2 years
2. To be able to call this guy friend
3. for his encouaging words & affirmation to me tonight
4. for his faith in Christ & love for others and hope in God
5. God's faithfulness in drawing all nations to Himself (this friend is one of maybe 10 in his people group to believe in Jesus).
6. That God has given him a burden for his people
7. That God has gifted him & equipped him to take the Gospel to his people
8. That God has faithfully provided a girlfriend - from the same people group, also a christian
9. That there are people in this city who really do care for us & love us
10. for our other friend who tried to help us in communicating with our landlord
11. for all those who have been translators for us
12. for my friendship with this other guy also
13. And his faith
14. God's timing
15. that we can trust God even when things don't go as we hope or expect


God is good.
God is faithful.
God is working.
God is worthy.

The one with things i can take for granted

Most of these days as i have been writing things i am thankful for there has been some theme... but today was just a day.
i did get to go out for a while and sit and plan... and i came home to my wife and daughter and had dinner.... and i talked with a friend over skype tonight.

An average day... which still produces a lot to be thankful for

Today i am thankful for...

1. The Greenhouse
     it's the closest we have to Starbucks... my 2nd year here (5 years ago) we went to another city and wondered what it would be like to have a place where we can get drinks, and eat good desserts and chill... we have that place now.
   It was fun today as 4 americans sat in the place and swore and talked about relationships (i thought all foreigners here were Christian, but i don't think these folks were).

2. Hulu
   We watched Parenthood tonight. And yes, sometimes a 45 minute episode takes over 2 hours to watch... but i am so thankful we have hulu. When i came here a few years ago there was nothing- so i bought like all my favorite shows on dvd... i remember way before that coming to East Asia then going back to america and having no idea what people were talking about - b/c they would be quoting lnes from tv shows or commercials... now we can watch it

3. The internet & A VPN
   When i first came to Asia 12 years ago we couldn't do anything online - even send an email with any spiritual content.
How things have changed

4. Skype
   Yes sometimes it is fuzzy. And people can't call me.
   But we are so blessed to have skype to call friends. In fact, our parents can see Halle over the phone.
   It's the one thing BAck to the Future got right.

5. my friend Brent - who i talked to on the phone tonight
   We met in Turkey 11 years ago... later stood in each others weddings, and still friends

6. warm clothes
   It snowed last night... still my flannel pants and my down coat keep me extremely warm

7. daily food
  i give thanks for it every day... i guess i can post about it.

8. An import store
   It is amazing all the stuff we can get here now! Sure, we have to pay $6 for a box of cereal, but so what?

9. our puppy
   We hope we can get her back to the states this time around. Have i listed her yet? We love our puppy

10. my family i can come home to

11. a house helper who comes and washes dishes and helps keep our house clean

12. Thank God for all the little things He takes care of each day and watches over each day. Thank You for all your provide. It is all from your hand. You bless so much.

Thanks God!

the one with a boy

It is confirmed

We're Having a Boy!!!!!

21 weeks... he'll be here so soon! i think he may be more introverted than his sister, but we'll see...

We have been calling him Josiah... though other names are still in the mix.

i wrote him a note tonight, but i referred to him as son...

i would really like to write my kids notes, every year, maybe every month... and give it to them when they turn 18 or 22 or something... i wrote Halle a note tonight too, which i think is only the 2nd note i have written her... but i think i can find some old journal entries too...

i love my kids.
i love my son though i haven't met him yet.
i will love my kids even though they will frustrate me.

And though sometimes i want to do my own thing, and feel out of energy or don't know what to do... i delight in my daughter and i will in my son too.


Today, i am thankful for...
1. My son! - what a blessing! An Arrow in my Quiver
2. That God would let me have a son while i am still kinda young so i can play sports or whatever with him later
3. The privilege & opportunity to be a male role model to my son
4. That he is growing and is healthy
5. i am still thankful for my daughter Halle too

the one with the last meeting

Today i led my last meeting here... well, kinda... but for the most part yes.

i enjoyed my role as a leader here. But it was certainly tiresome sometimes.
i do feel like God used me here and shaped me for the role.
He brought me thru certain experiences and my background helped so i could shepherd a team well and guide us.
In some ways i excelled at the job.
But i am ready for a change.
i'm not really a natural leader. God used me- which shows His power.

Looking back on the year there was a lot to be thankful for too.

Today, i am thankful for...
1. Not having to lead a team anymore
2. no more classes in the morning
3. The opportunity to lead
4. How God taught me thru leading
5. Learning how to resolve conflicts
6. Our Team
7. God's faithfulness towards our faith goals
8. God working despite having less staff, and distracted staff
9. 37 New believers (more decisions in one semester than all of last year).
10. Young students with passion & vision, beginning to multiply themselves and a new servant Team
11. Changed lives
12. God using students we didn't expect


i'm sure the next stage will carry new responsibilities that will be overwhelming sometimes.
And i suppose there could be worse things than class in the morning - but i am sure glad to not have them anymore... and here's hoping Halle continues sleeping in until 8...

the one with a trip to the hospital

Trips to the hospital are not much fun here. It is kind of like when you have to go to the emergency room in  America, except much worse, and many more people.

We usually leave quite annoyed and extremely tired.

The worst is when people are smoking inside the hospital.
Last pregnancy, Soo had to spend 2 nights in the hospital. She stayed in a room with 7 other patients and their families (yes, i stayed the night too). Most of the other patients were having babies.
There was one public bathroom for that room and another. No one cleaned it. And toilet paper didn't flush.
The pile of bloody & poop-stained paper was taller than me.

Outside of the room with all the expecting mothers, the father were smoking. Some would try to hide in the stairwell, others didn't care at all. i came out and gave a glare and they would put out their cigarette.

Soo on the otherhand doesn't always receive that support.
Most people are pretty good about it when we're at restaurants or in a taxi - but somehow at the hospital, no one cares.


Anyway, it is mostly a waiting game...

·       we have to get there at least an hour 15 minutes before the doctor arrives to register… Everyone shows up at 1:15… some go at 12:30 to make sure they are first in line (though honestly I don’t know if being first is all it is cracked up to be). I think if you get there by 1 you’re ok.. if you get there at 1:15 you could be 1^st or you could be 12^th …

·      Once in line, we have to battle all the people who try to crowd you and cut in front of you… 

·      Then we wait again… then have to run all over the hospital and wait again…

·      Then after all the tests are done… we waited again…

·      People are walking around with open containers of urine

·      The place is crowded

·      And it FREEZING

Still, i am thankful

Today i am thankful for

1. foreign doctors who come to serve God by serving others

    for all our trouble, i can't imagine all the stress and difficulties they deal with

2. not only for qualified doctors, but doctors who speak english and are quite helpful

3. We know where to go now. A few years ago we never knew which hospital to go to. We never knew who to trust, now we know

4. God takes care of us. No matter what health we may be in, God is in control. And He has given us good health

5. After our trip, though frustrating, we know Soo is healthy and the baby looks good too

6. friends who help us by watching Halle so she doesn't have to go or Soo doesn't have to go by herself

7. Doctors & hospitals in general. God has equipped people & given wisdom so we can experience healthier lives.

i hope in the midst of frustration, we don't lose sight of God

the one on Soo's birthday 2012

1-8 Soo's birthday.

Today i am thankful for... Soo of course!

i thank God...

1. Soo's smile

2. Soo's kindness

3. Soo is gracious

4. Soo loves me

5. Soo loves this family

6. Soo loves me family

7. Soo and i enjoy each other

8. Soo and i have worked thru conflicts

9. Soo is SOO Super Cute

10. Soo is such a wonderful wife & marvelous mom

11. Soo challneged me by her generosity & kindness

12. friends to celebrate Soo with

13. friends who babysit so Soo & i could go out

i love my wife.

And i thank God upon every remembrance of her.

i don't say it enough or think it enough, but i appreciate my wife.

i pray she would be blessed with greater intimacy with the Lord this year, that she would know Him and experience His presence & pleasure, filled with His joy & love.

i pray she would know His goodness and His kindness.

And i pray she'd grow in faith, walk with God, love well and grow as a wife, mom, person.

And i pray i love her well, i'd treat her as Christ, and treat her as Christ would - and that she'd know Christ more thru me.

i pray i would be a servant and care for her well. That i would put her above my own needs, encourage her often and help her whenever possible.

Lord, i thank you for Soo

The things i am thankful for Jan 6

Soo's birthday is just a couple days away... i am thankful for her... (i thank God for her everyday)

Today i am thankful for...

1. God brought Soo into my life. She is His perfect provision for me
2. I am God's perfect provision for her. OF all the people in the universe, He chose me to be an instrument in her life. Thanks for the priviledge and blessing to serve & lead my wife
3. God's sovereignty over our marriage
4. All the relationships that didn't work, all the girls who rejected me... so i could marry Soo
5. That God created marriage and designed marriage

12 for 2012

Last year i made a list of 11 things of 11 for 2011... and didn't do too bad... so, here goes

12 For 2012

12 things I’m looking forward to in 2012

1.     the birth of our son

2.     Halle talking

3.     sitting in panera or starbucks or B&N, reading a book, journaling, talking with friends

4.     Following up Freshmen contacts

5.     Christmas Conference… and to a lesser degree Fall Retreat

6.     Seeing our parents enjoy their grandchildren

7.     One on one hang-outs with old friends + Getting phone calls from friends and not having to talk at midnight or 10am

8.     Having a car: n more buses or waiting for taxis

9.     watching football, espn, pti

10. Leading a Men’s Bible study & doing ministry in english

11. No more classes in the morning

12. Eating Good Food

12 Goals

1.     Pray for 100 countries (and maybe another 100 people group)

2.     Write 12 notes to Soo, Halle and the new baby

3.     Outline 12 books of the Bible

4.     Write at least one blog entry a week

5.     Write out 500 things I am thankful for ( real goal is 1,000)(real goal is to write 3 things I am thankful for each day)

6.     Memorize 12 verses(passages)

7.     Take Soo on 12 unique dates (different than a meal or a movie)… (of course plan for a date every week)

8.     Share the Gospel with 12 people

9.     Get to point I am playing basketball (or some other sport) weekly

10. Get to point of doing hamstring & back stretches 3/wk

11. Learn a few (12) Korean phrases or words

12. Buy a house

12 themes for 2012

1.     Eternal Perspective

2.     Wisdom

3.     Attentive to God, attentive to needs of others

4.     Transition

5.     Passion

6.     Fun

7.     Hope

8.     Friendship

9.     Humility & Grace

10. Keep myself in the love of God

11. Service/servanthood & Generosity/Giving

12. Growing… Love Jesus… Full of Faith

12 ways I want to grow in God’s Word

1.     Proverbs:
I should have done this long ago, living in Asia. I should take advantage of wisdom here, and figure out ways to share Gospel using the book. I want to ask people questions, consider Confuscious & other philosophers
Big Goal: read thru the book 12 times… more realistic: 5… Soft Goal: 3 times

2.     Colossians + Tullian Talks
Long interested… I want to study & meditate and listen to Tullian’s talk series on Colossians (24 talks) Jesus+ Nothing=Everything

3.     Study the life of Josiah
2 weeks? Look online and stuff

4.     Study life of Samuel

5.     Micah
Soo loved the book + these 3 are potential names

6.     Study on the END TIMES (Revelation, Daniel, etc… but more topical)
if 2012 is the end… or if people are thinking about it, I want to be more informed and be able to share the Gospel… + I want to have more of an eternal perspective & live with a greater sense of urgency

7.     Study Galatians
more and more entrigued by this book

8.     Study Sermon on the Mount

9.     Read Judges as a story, maybe write it out

10. Read Philippians several times, rememorize stuff

11. Look at I or II Peter – just because I need to get something other than Paul

12. Consider some stuff from I Corinthians or Titus or I John

12 books I own I want to read/finish

       1.     Marriage-builder

       2.     Starting your marriage off right

       3.     The Good News we almost forgot

       4.     Divine Conspiracy

       5.     eat, pray, love

       6.     Managing God’s money

       7.     Now, you’re speaking my language

       8.     God’s Big Picture

       9.     Rescuing Ambition

      10. The Deep things of God

      11. What Wives wish their husbands knew about sex

      12. The Gospel is for Christians or Bonhoffer? Or Redeeming Love?

12 books I’ve yet to buy I want to read

       1.     It All goes Back in the Box

       2.     Grace-based Parenting

       3.     Generous Justice

       4.     Thirsting for God

       5.     Ancient Word, Changing worlds

       6.     The Love Dare

       7.     Note to Self

       8.     Disciple

       9.     A Million miles in a thousand years

      10. The Naked Gospel or As far as the curse is found

      11. Faith is not a feeling or A long Obedience in the same direction

      12. FNL or Hunger Games or Harry Potter

12 movies I want to see

       1.     The Dark Knight Rises

       2.     Thor

       3.     30 minutes or less
             Aziz Anzari & Jesse Eisenberg: need I say more
       4.     Infernal Affairs

             I need to watch this before I leave Asia

       5.     Mummy 3
             another we own here and is about Asia

       6.     Moneyball
             baseball, Brad Pitt and the guy who did the Social Network- what else could I ask for?

       7.     Taxi Driver… or Airplane
             Classics, and we own it here

       8.     Terminator: Salvation

       9.     United 93

     10. Godfather movies

Best movies ever right?

     11. Rio

     12. The wrestler or Ali

* The Hobbit

12 people I want to invest in

1.     Marc

2.     Sean

3.     Brack

4.     Ken

5.     Varkey

6.     Corey

7.     B

8.     Kevin

9.     Jack

10. Halle

11. My son

12. Soo

12 people I haven’t seen/talked to in a while to try to connect with one time

1.     Matt H

2.     Paul Mann

3.     Will story

4.     erik Mellquist

5.     Jon Leazenby

6.     Tim VanFossen

7.     Brandon Sammut

8.     Adam Anderson

9.     Trepod

10. Berg

11. A Smyly

12. dario

12 things to try to make

1.     PB fudge

2.     Chocolate fudge

3.     Bacon wrapped crackers

4.     Chocolate chip & bacon cookies

5.     Buffalo dip

6.     Pho for Soo

7.     A Turkish dish

8.     Twice-baked potatoes

9.     Kao tudou pian

10. Tudou jiding

11. Orange chicken

12. Ziran yang rou

12 words/phrases I want to describe me in 2012

1.     Growing

2.     Full of Faith

3.     Faithful

4.     Loving

5.     Humble

6.     Servant

7.     Caring/Compassionate

8.     Good friend

9.     Hard-working

10. Joyful

11. Patient & forgiving

12. passionate

12 things I’m not looking forward to

1.     Having to decide what to keep and what to leave

2.     Packing

3.     Trying to make some big decisions such as where to live and car to buy

4.     Traveling across the world with a one year old & pregnant wife

5.     Trying to sell things

6.     Saying goodbye to friends

7.     MPD

8.     All the logistical things we’ll need to figure out concerning taxes and insurance, etc

9.     Sticker shock

10. Not having a baomu

11. Sleepless nights

12. Trying to figure out how to spend time when students aren’t around

The things i am thankful for Jan 4

woke up early today... pretty tired now... but

Today i am thankful for...

1. team dinners
2. good food: have had some good stuff recently
3. God created moms
   thinking of my mom... and my wife as a mom
4. The care & sacrifice of moms (especially my mom, and Soo as a mom)
5. That God cares for us, cares for me

God cares about every detail. There is nothing that goes by Him. There is nothing too small to Him. He cares about everything. No feeling is insignificant. i can count on the Lord.

And He has taken care of me.
And He will take care of me... i can rest easy.

The things i am thankful for on Jan 3

Today was my mom's birthday... didn't get to see her... and since she is in India, and i don't know where, we weren't able to talk either...  but mom i love you! And i am thankful for you.

Today i am thankful for...
1. My mom!
2. The Lord brought my parents together (arranged marriage)
3. The Lord enabled my parents to come to know Him in India
4. The Lord enabled my parents to go to America...
5. That i grew up in America
6. My parents culture & faith & personalities influenced me
7. My parents pointed me to Christ and prayed for me
8. My mom loved & loves me so much, cares so much for me
9. My mom's joy & laughter (And that influenced me too).
10. That my mom played games with me (and my friends) as a kid
11. Opportunity to meet new people
12. Good Steak.


Today is usually a day off, but i heard it was the last day before exams, so i went to campus to meet some students... which was good. i enjoyed my time on campus.
Kinda weird knowing i'll be leaving soon, but felt the need to take these steps of faith and see what would happen.

One student i was very blessed for all the things i have been able to do & experience.

i am blessed... but maybe not why he said.

i am blessed to know God. i am blessed to be saved. i am blessed by God.
And my family is such a great blesssing.
Not because they help me to go places and paid for my schooling and all that... but because they follow the Lord & how they love me...

Mom you were always there for me as a kid.
My friends talk about your lemonade and your doughnuts... and we will always remember you playing parcheesi and charades - esp the time you acted out popeye and got spice in your eye...
You care for us deeply - maybe too much- but we know it is because you love us.
You love God, desire eagerly to grow and know God.
i am thankful for you!

i am also greatly blessed to have a wonderful wife... we were able to go on a lil date tonight... played some ping-pong (Soo played despite being 20 weeks pregnant) and got some wonderful steak... it was amazing.

Parts of today were hard... my back hurt a bit... getting a little anxious about the future... some conflicts... but overall, a good day.
Thank You God!

The things i am thankful for on Jan 2

Yesterday I posted a blog about things I was thankful for… that kinda went with the idea of a new year…

But really what I am thankful for are the important things

Today i am thankful for...

1.     Jesus

Last week I saw ppl tweet: The Reward for Following Jesus is Jesus. How True. I am thankful to know Jesus. I am thankful Jesus is my friend. And I am thankful for the love of Jesus and the reward of Jesus. He is my King. And He is my treasure

2.     The gift of Salavation

Apart from Jesus Himself, Jesus does give Salvation… and this is a great gift indeed. It give security and freedom and hope.

3.     My wife, Soo

Sure, there may be times when marriage is difficult… and tiring. And Soo is sinful person like the rest of us, like me. But she loves me and I love her. She is my best friend. The person who will always be in my life. And the person who will have the best opportunity to show me the Gospel by giving me continual grace and loving me despite my unworthiness. And I get the great priviledge to love her and take care of her and show her the Gospel. I love it!

4.     Halle (and the new baby too)

I love watching my daughter grow. I delight in hearing laugh and seeing her smile. I get a wonderful privilege of being with her every day and first thing in the morning. She lets me hold her… and even wants me to sometimes…

5.     I get to know God better thru being a Dad… and what a blessing & honor & stewardship and responsibility to be the one who gets to reveal the character of God the Father to her – only I get that….

6.     Friends & family

Truly I could go into this more, but I am so blessed

7.     Your Wonderful Word which instruct me in righteousness and wisdom

There is a lot to be thankful for concerning Your Word, but today after reading Proverbs, I am thankful for how Your Word instructs me, and leads me in righteousness and wisdom

8.     Waffles!

9.     And the waffle-maker & other things You have blessed us with (that we now need to sell).

10. That Soo is 20 weeks pregnant already! It is hard to believe… last year at 20 weeks it felt like it had been 40, this time it feels like it has been 10 (though don’t know if Soo would quite agree).

Thank You God

Today I am thankful for... (Jan 1)

This new year i want to try to write a daily blog... glorify God... keep people updated... encouraged & edify... and give thanks...

Today (Jan 1) this new year,  I am thankful for...

1. I am NEW. God has made me new. I'm not just forgiven. I was made new. I am a New Creation.

2. I have been forgiven of everything in the past... Completely Forgiven... or everything (and the future too).

3. I am free to mess up. God doesn't look down on me.

4. New Ideas, New possibilities.

5. The power to change is in me, in the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit changes me. i take steps of faith, i am responsible... but it is the fruit of the Spirit... it is the Spirit who changes me.

Soo & i listened to a talk by Tim Keller today titled "How to change"
Pretty good... not about our ability... but that the Spirit produces fruit... gradually, but inevitably... internal and symetretical...

Of course i am Thankful for Jesus, my wife, and all God has for me.

i am looking forward to this new year... and Thankful for what God has in store for us.

My birthday wish

Soo & my parents and others have asked what i want for my birthday... but reality is: i don't need anything... and i get to live with my beautiful wife and amazing child... i have wonderful parents, a meaningful job, and a relationship with God Almighty & Savior Jesus Christ.

i don't need anything.

But y'know what millions elsewhere are suffering.

On twitter a few weeks ago, i saw Erwin McManeus post a tweet asking people to make donations to Charity:water. And so i have followed suit

http://mycharitywater.org/Matthew1042

Matthew 10:42 Jesus says: "And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.”


Last year i read the hole in our Gospel, which talks a lot about our need to help the poor as disciples of Christ, as well as the huge needs people have - especially for water. i do suggest WorldVision as a source to give to as well.


As i think of this bday wish i think of the old Steve Martin SNL skit, and wonder if i'm honest is this what i wish for?


Well, actually that wouldn't be first


1st would be that my friends who have had trouble having kids would receive good news! i have 3 good friends struggling with infertility... i guess on top of that would be those who recently had kids with some health troubles... or those having trouble in marriage... even those struggling with lonliness... yeah, my wish would be these folks going through trouble would be blessed! i pray not only they would have kids or get what they want, but they'd experience the Lord and the Lord would be glorified in them!


There are some selfish wishes too... Overall, i'd say:


1. friends receive good news, esp those having trouble having kids
2. A day without an conflict:
    No conflict with Soo, people on my team, my leaders, random people... man i hate conflict
3. A day free of obligations & responsibilities:
    i love being a dad... and i love being a leader... but it means a lot of responsibilities (my buddy erik warned me when we got pregnant "remember in 'the life you've always wanted' when he said he'd take a day to do nothing for himself so he could serve others? Welcome to the rest of your life). 
    It'd be nice to have freedom to serve, ability to do everything on my schedule
4. the poor would be helped: water, food, etc 
5. A day with Dad: enjoying Him, connecting with Him thru His Word, writing, praise, prayer...
6. A day with Soo: a date... no conflict...
7.     Phone calls from good friends… and those friends who haven’t returned phone calls – you know who you are… good fun & deep conversations


As long as I’m dreaming, and let’s face it, these are all pipe dreams... 

1.     A night of playing Settlers with Corey, Mark, Ben & Doug… maybe we could add Josh & Jason too…  if someone asked who the lord of catan is at the end that'd be fun too..

2.     A conference like CSU- some good speakers, P&W… with a lot of my old staff friends like Berg, Dueck, ej, others… having those good conversations about the Bible and faith… of course guys I still keep in touch with like Ken & Scotty(though he’s not on staff anymore)… so how ‘bout other former interns & stinters like Sean, Will, Smylys, Scholten… yeah, that would be even better than #1...

3.     A Waffle ball reuion- with actual basketball games and actual waffles… no reunion would be complete w/o the Brothers Bettag, Brack, The Messmerizer, Crazy Uncle Tim, the Dowds, Justin, Big Sol & al… maybe some others... that would be fun

4.     Watch some football with a few friends… eating wings (maybe at Buffalo wild wings itself) and drinking something cold… i really miss this right now

5.     To be able to go on a walk at 10:30 at night with Soo & puppy… cool air, a nice breeze, good conversation, and a happy puppy

6.     I’d love to see some of my Asian friends again too… and hear about their faith

7.     Be able to share the Gospel… lead a Bible study… IN ENGLISH… and with people who really want to hear... though maybe more important would be a person coming to Christ or growing in faith... i guess this would be more important than anything on the list i suppose

8.     Returning to America for Food would be good too… In N out… jamba juice… Chipotle… Skyline… Grand Lux… a bleu cheese & bacon burger… Outback Special with a caesar salad… pepperoni pizza...

9.     Sleep in

10. If we’re talking about returns… how about Christ’s return? i guess that would be ultimate...

11. And i suppose if we're going past this year...i guess most of all, i pray Halle (and other children we may have) would love & follow Christ.

All in all...

My desire for this year... my motto for the year...

i would be sensitive/attentive to the direction of the Holy Spirit and i'd be sensitive/attentive to the needs of others! (which often are the same thing i think)

Oh, that i may be a blessing to others!

Bless others, Glorify God.

This is my hope, my desire, my goal, my prayer. 

the thing about having kids

Halle is 9 months old today. We're slowing reading some books on parenting... learning on the job i guess... we i'm not that great at it - but God is stretching us teaching us a lot!

Anyway, the question is asked why have kids?

Here is what i say

1.     Children are a blessing from the Lord (like arrows in a quiver)

2.     Raising Children in a godly way is an opportunity to build the kingdom of God & influence the world

3.     Being a parent will stretch my faith and cause me to depend on God more

4.     We’re commanded to be fruitful & multiply

5.     I want to love & enjoy my kids

6.   A family

7.     It will be fun to have kids

8.     A Legacy

i know a number of people who wait to have kids... and have heard some people say this society is so awful, they don't want to bring kids into it. And a lot who think a one-child policy is a good idea.

Baloney.

Kids are a good thing. They will stretch you. Your life will no longer be your own... your life will not be the same... and that will be frustrating. 

But... kids are a blessing from God... and we shouldn't try to manage our life so much to make it easy or convenient

Having kids is out of our control - as much as we may not try to control it. God is the giver of life. Each child is a gift, is grace. 

So many of my friends have struggled to have kids... so don't take your kids for granted.

There are a lot of bad reasons to have kids... and we won't be perfect parents... but i hope we will raise our kids to the glory of God and help them to love God and enjoy the Gospel.

The one with seven things that seem super spiritual, but actually may be quite the opposite

1. These are some recent thoughts from conversations I’ve had and books I’ve been reading… you may not agree… I may not be clear… so be gracious… and I hope it imparts grace…




   1.  Not having time for people because you are having a Quiet Time
2.     Feeling Guilt because of what a bad person you are
3.     Reading
4.     Only serving others, giving to others when there is a chance to evangelize
5.     Being a nice person
6.     Holding firm to Truth
7.     Sharing the Gospel in every situation

Spending time with God is a noble thing. If you want to impress people, talk about your devotion to your devotions… mention how early you get up to have a quiet time…  people will think you are great… and you will feel you’re great too.

But far too often a Quiet Time is used as an excuse for actually engaging with others.

It is an excuse to not go share your faith or to not help a friend in need or not do a loving or serving thing for another.

Because… of course you should prioritize God over another person.

But is this what God requires of us? Does He require us to have a quiet time every day at a specific time for a specific duration?

Isn’t He more pleased when we love mercy? When we do justly? When we serve others? When we love others? When we go out of our way for someone?

If a quiet time is to grow in love for God, shouldn’t we prioritze the things that show love to God – namely loving other people?

Many can spend a lot of time reading the Word, but then don’t do what the Word says, and often we don’t do what the Word says because we are spending time in the Word.

Obviously having regular time with God is good. Being in the Word is vital. And prayer is our breath.

But do we need a quiet time to do this?

Can we not walk with God in any moment? We can meditate on His Word all day long as we do other activities. And we can live out what the Word says.

Jesus got up early in the morning to meet with the Father, but He also stopped praying to help those around Him.

Quiet Times though, seem spiritual. Because it is so personal and requires discipline & conviction. Doing things with & for others just seems like a fun things to do.

On the other hand, it is much easier to read the Bible and to pray than it is to serve others, to sacrificially love others, to give our time and money to others.

American culture has built this feeling. A quiet time is of highest importance… in an individualistic society. But the Biblical mandate is actually more communal than individual… something to think about.

Feeling guilty.

Romans 8:1 Says “There is therefore now NO Condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. This means we are free from sin & from guilt & from shame.

Henry Cloud says we don’t take this far enough. He says this means there is never a right time to feel guilty.

The Holy Spirit convicts, but if we feel guilty, that is our own response.

He goes onto explain the difference between godly sorrow & guilt. Godly sorrow is sorry about the pain you caused another person and caused God. Guilt is being sad about what you did wrong.

Guilt is very self-focused.

While I am still fleshing out this idea of no guilt at all, I think Cloud is onto something. Guilt is very self-focused. It’s what I do when I mess up. I think I’m a bad person. I don’t really want to change, I just want to feel bad. And I want that to be enough. Instead of focusing on the hurt I cause my wife, I say I am such a bad husband. Instead, I should feel heart-felt sorrow for the hurt I cause and work on doing things differently.

When someone shows guilt over their sin, it seems like they are spiritual to feel so bad. And while hating sin is good… we ought hate sin for the hurt it causes God, not because we hate that we’re so bad.

True faith would not hold onto guilt, but abide in grace.

This is hard… for when I do confess my sin and move on and don’t feel guilt… I often feel guilt for not feeling any guilt.

Guilt & shame are from the devil. We need to abide in the love & grace of Christ & enjoy Him, enjoy His forgiveness, worship Him after we sin for how great is mercy & faithfulness is.

Reading

Reading is a good thing… it can help us come closer to God and grow us in areas we are weak. But is it always more godly, more mature? It really could just be a personality trait. And worse yet, it could be a source of spiritual pride. We feel like we’re better because we’re spending time reading… but maybe we just enjoy reading… maybe we are doing it to gain knowledge and feel superior.

I’m not saying reading is bad or all our motivations are bad…

I like to read and believe the more you read, the more you learn….

but just reading more doesn’t necessarily mean you are more mature.

Only serving/giving when there is a chance to evangelize

This is a major pet-peeve of many… and I’m starting to get it.

Many out there look down on organizations if they are not doing evangelism… seeing as giving to the poor, building church buildings and other such things as less important work.

The thing is, every aspect is important. While we don’t want to shy from sharing the Gospel- we must use words… to look down on others who are serving & giving is immature.

In fact, giving/serving others without being able to see fruit may be more difficult. Most of the time those actions are done with hopes of results in long-term.

Giving your time & money to strangers is probably more difficult than to share a message with them. At least for me.

Being nice

Many have seemed  to interpret loving our neighbor as being nice to our neighbor. If it’s not nice, how can it be loving? But in fact being nice is sometimes not really not that nice and is indeed not loving.

Much like allowing an alcoholic to keep drinking or a someone drunk to drive… we sometimes need to do things people may not feel is very nice to truly be loving.

In being nice, we avoid sharing the Gospel… we avoid confronting our brother about sin in his life… we allow a friend to hold incorrect doctrine…

Really when we make our goal to be nice, we are making how people perceive us the number one thing in our lives.

People like nice people… but they are not always the best for us… and it is not always the most loving way to act

Holding firm to truth

In the opposite spectrum is the one who holds so strongly to truth, he doesn’t care how another person may feel.

At this point his concern isn’t for the person’s soul as much it is to be right.

I believe we do need to be honest with people about what we think of their actions or beliefs. At the same time our speech needs to be seasoned with salt that it may give grace to the hearers.

The purpose of speaking truth should be to edify and to proclaim Christ… if it is not accomplishing this then maybe we should reconsider our actions & words.

Sharing the Gospel in every situation

Bill Bright looked at interactions with others as a “Divine appointment.”

And I think he was right.

When we interact with someone, it is an opportunity to be God’s ambassador, to reflect Christ, to show love, to give grace, and help them understand the Gospel.

But we have to be careful.

Sometimes the people we are talking with may not be ready to receive all we want to say.

I once heard someone say that he “did my job” as if he felt good about himself because he shared the message, even if the guy didn’t respond well. While our job may be to simply proclaim the Gospel and allow the Spirit to do His work, our goal/hope should be the person would receive Christ.

I’ve come to realize it often takes more faith for me to not share the Gospel than it does for me to share the Gospel. I have to believe God will work in someone’s life, even if I don’t get to share the Gospel with them.

I want to give every person a glimpse of the Gospel (at least)… but I don’t need to force it, I don’t need to make it happen. I need to trust God, even if I don’t see the fruit…

There are probably other things and more that could be said about these things both positively and negatively… I’m really just processing & starting the discussion here.