the one after a long hiatus

i started off the new year with consecutive posts for over 3 weeks... pretty good!
Then something happened... and just like that no posts for over 2 weeks.

It is amazing to me how quickly a good habit can be broken and bad habits built.

Now you may not think this a great habit, but the habit of thinking thru things i am thankful for was good for me. i have a goal of writing over a thousand things. i would like to do something every day.
i am sure i do say thanks to God each day - i pray for meals, etc... but it is still good to record...

How did this streak start... well, one day the power went out. i'm not sure when it came back on, but it went out late in the evening.
Stuff like that used to happen ALL the time. One time it happened when we stayed up til 3am to watch a football game, and at 3:15 the power went out.
Fortunately, that doesn't happen so much anymore.
i am thankful for that!

Then we went out of town for a two day trip.
And recently life has been crazy as we pack and sell things.
Life has been stressful... but there is a lot to be thankful for.

Today i am thankful for
1. Electricity. i mean, imagine if there was no electricity. i wouldn't be up right now... i wouldn't have a computer to type on... We are so dependant on electricity. i am thankful we have it.

2. i am thankful how easy it is to access electricity. Wheni would visit India there were scheduled blackouts every day. On the campus here, the lights go off at 10:45...

3. internet... it is crazy the things we can do these days: shop online, watch games, see the news, email...

4. A Secure line on the internet so i can communicate with friends

5. my wife. i know i mentioned her before... maybe often. But i am thankful for Soo always being with me and supporting me and knowing i can count on her

6. Being able to sell some stuff before we leave

7. All God has provided for us- that we have so much to sell

8. That i can trust God will provide again!

9. time to get things done

10. blogs

i will write more about our packing & selling experience later... for now i wanted to get back on track

the one on our anniversary

He who finds a wife, finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord
   ~ Proverbs 18:22

Remembering our anniversary is as easy as 1.23...

Soo has survived 2 years of being married to me... she deserves a medal...

So today, of course, i am thankful for...

1. i found a wife... God has shown me favor

2. Soo. she is not just a wife, she is my friend & lover. Many daughters have done well, but she excels them all. Not any woman would do, God prepared Soo especially for me

3. The privilege & honor to be a husband. Of all the millions of men in the world, God chose me to be Soo's husband - to serve & love her - of which i do a horrible job

4. For 2 years with Soo.
    They haven't all been fun moments. There have been conflicts & tears. There have been misunderstandings and frustrations. i wouldn't trade a moment (Though at points i want a redo).

5. Soo's patience, grace & forgiveness

6. A wonderful wedding with wonderful friends, a great photographer and good weather... even if the catering was awful - at least we got a taco truck

7. An amazing honeymoon in Prague & Paris

8. God's gift & design of marriage

9. for all the relationships that didn't work out before Soo

10. That God is with us in marriage, leading us and taking care of us

11. That God is using marriage to refine us, show us sin and make us more like Christ

12. For the love Christ has for the church, which is so much greater than i have for my wife

Thank You Lord for Soo, for our marriage, for this family.
You are good

The one during a fireworks show

the 4th of July has nothing on new year's eve... 4th of July = LAME.
In fact, take all of the the 4th of July show's in the states together and it was about as good as what i saw tonight... and what i saw tonight was nothing compared to three years ago... which i am thankful for... Halle didn't wake up, but the dog is scared (there is a phrase that would be perfect here).

Today i am thankful for...

1. KFC & the KFC bucket
- there is just something fun about going to KFC in a foreign country on a holiday... and it tastes good!

2. That Halle slept thru this ridiculous amount of noise tonight. We are quite blessed to have a little girl who sleeps thru the night. She doesn't cry when she falls  - i mean sometimes - but she is amazing. God is amazing to us!

3. Hats & coats & gloves & flannel pants... because it was freezing even with it on. When i took it off my glove for a minute to take a photo i thought i was going to get frostbite... Thank God for warm clothes & protective layers!

4. fireworks.... but i'm not so crazy about firecrackers, which are just loud & annoying. The fireworks are kinda annoying too.

5. My wife. It is technically the 23rd, which means it is our 2 year anniversary!
i thank God for two wonderful years with Soo!
There have been hard times and rough moments. i wouldn't trade a single one.
i thank God for my wife, for the demonstration of His love & kindness. And the gift of marriage.

The whole city is celebrating by throwing a fantastic fireworks show!

Thanks!

the one after a hard day

Today was an awful day. It started out good, and ended ok, but the middle was just awful- even after reading Proverbs 19 and submitted my plans... awful.

Still, i am thankful for...

1. My friend Ken
We talked this morning briefly... well what felt brief... i feel we could talk a few hours and scracth the surface.
Ken was my best man.
The ironic thing is we didn't really become friends until i left the country... well my last year in the states we started hanging out, the next year talked a bit, the 2nd year began talking all the time.
i am thankful for a good friend who pursues me and cares about me, talks about God, loves the Gospel and can laugh with a whole lot - and can relate so well. Thank God for such a good friend

2. My wife
It's not new to the list, but i am thankful for Soo. She is the most important thing in the world to me. Proverbs 18:22 says he who finds a wife, finds a good thing - and that's true. Thank God for my wife.

3. pizza - again... perfect pizza tonight, and it helps after a rough day.

the one with a trip to the hospital

Trips to the hospital are not much fun here. It is kind of like when you have to go to the emergency room in  America, except much worse, and many more people.

We usually leave quite annoyed and extremely tired.

The worst is when people are smoking inside the hospital.
Last pregnancy, Soo had to spend 2 nights in the hospital. She stayed in a room with 7 other patients and their families (yes, i stayed the night too). Most of the other patients were having babies.
There was one public bathroom for that room and another. No one cleaned it. And toilet paper didn't flush.
The pile of bloody & poop-stained paper was taller than me.

Outside of the room with all the expecting mothers, the father were smoking. Some would try to hide in the stairwell, others didn't care at all. i came out and gave a glare and they would put out their cigarette.

Soo on the otherhand doesn't always receive that support.
Most people are pretty good about it when we're at restaurants or in a taxi - but somehow at the hospital, no one cares.


Anyway, it is mostly a waiting game...

·       we have to get there at least an hour 15 minutes before the doctor arrives to register… Everyone shows up at 1:15… some go at 12:30 to make sure they are first in line (though honestly I don’t know if being first is all it is cracked up to be). I think if you get there by 1 you’re ok.. if you get there at 1:15 you could be 1^st or you could be 12^th …

·      Once in line, we have to battle all the people who try to crowd you and cut in front of you… 

·      Then we wait again… then have to run all over the hospital and wait again…

·      Then after all the tests are done… we waited again…

·      People are walking around with open containers of urine

·      The place is crowded

·      And it FREEZING

Still, i am thankful

Today i am thankful for

1. foreign doctors who come to serve God by serving others

    for all our trouble, i can't imagine all the stress and difficulties they deal with

2. not only for qualified doctors, but doctors who speak english and are quite helpful

3. We know where to go now. A few years ago we never knew which hospital to go to. We never knew who to trust, now we know

4. God takes care of us. No matter what health we may be in, God is in control. And He has given us good health

5. After our trip, though frustrating, we know Soo is healthy and the baby looks good too

6. friends who help us by watching Halle so she doesn't have to go or Soo doesn't have to go by herself

7. Doctors & hospitals in general. God has equipped people & given wisdom so we can experience healthier lives.

i hope in the midst of frustration, we don't lose sight of God

the one on Soo's birthday 2012

1-8 Soo's birthday.

Today i am thankful for... Soo of course!

i thank God...

1. Soo's smile

2. Soo's kindness

3. Soo is gracious

4. Soo loves me

5. Soo loves this family

6. Soo loves me family

7. Soo and i enjoy each other

8. Soo and i have worked thru conflicts

9. Soo is SOO Super Cute

10. Soo is such a wonderful wife & marvelous mom

11. Soo challneged me by her generosity & kindness

12. friends to celebrate Soo with

13. friends who babysit so Soo & i could go out

i love my wife.

And i thank God upon every remembrance of her.

i don't say it enough or think it enough, but i appreciate my wife.

i pray she would be blessed with greater intimacy with the Lord this year, that she would know Him and experience His presence & pleasure, filled with His joy & love.

i pray she would know His goodness and His kindness.

And i pray she'd grow in faith, walk with God, love well and grow as a wife, mom, person.

And i pray i love her well, i'd treat her as Christ, and treat her as Christ would - and that she'd know Christ more thru me.

i pray i would be a servant and care for her well. That i would put her above my own needs, encourage her often and help her whenever possible.

Lord, i thank you for Soo

The things i am thankful for Jan 6

Soo's birthday is just a couple days away... i am thankful for her... (i thank God for her everyday)

Today i am thankful for...

1. God brought Soo into my life. She is His perfect provision for me
2. I am God's perfect provision for her. OF all the people in the universe, He chose me to be an instrument in her life. Thanks for the priviledge and blessing to serve & lead my wife
3. God's sovereignty over our marriage
4. All the relationships that didn't work, all the girls who rejected me... so i could marry Soo
5. That God created marriage and designed marriage

The things i am thankful for Jan 4

woke up early today... pretty tired now... but

Today i am thankful for...

1. team dinners
2. good food: have had some good stuff recently
3. God created moms
   thinking of my mom... and my wife as a mom
4. The care & sacrifice of moms (especially my mom, and Soo as a mom)
5. That God cares for us, cares for me

God cares about every detail. There is nothing that goes by Him. There is nothing too small to Him. He cares about everything. No feeling is insignificant. i can count on the Lord.

And He has taken care of me.
And He will take care of me... i can rest easy.

The things i am thankful for on Jan 2

Yesterday I posted a blog about things I was thankful for… that kinda went with the idea of a new year…

But really what I am thankful for are the important things

Today i am thankful for...

1.     Jesus

Last week I saw ppl tweet: The Reward for Following Jesus is Jesus. How True. I am thankful to know Jesus. I am thankful Jesus is my friend. And I am thankful for the love of Jesus and the reward of Jesus. He is my King. And He is my treasure

2.     The gift of Salavation

Apart from Jesus Himself, Jesus does give Salvation… and this is a great gift indeed. It give security and freedom and hope.

3.     My wife, Soo

Sure, there may be times when marriage is difficult… and tiring. And Soo is sinful person like the rest of us, like me. But she loves me and I love her. She is my best friend. The person who will always be in my life. And the person who will have the best opportunity to show me the Gospel by giving me continual grace and loving me despite my unworthiness. And I get the great priviledge to love her and take care of her and show her the Gospel. I love it!

4.     Halle (and the new baby too)

I love watching my daughter grow. I delight in hearing laugh and seeing her smile. I get a wonderful privilege of being with her every day and first thing in the morning. She lets me hold her… and even wants me to sometimes…

5.     I get to know God better thru being a Dad… and what a blessing & honor & stewardship and responsibility to be the one who gets to reveal the character of God the Father to her – only I get that….

6.     Friends & family

Truly I could go into this more, but I am so blessed

7.     Your Wonderful Word which instruct me in righteousness and wisdom

There is a lot to be thankful for concerning Your Word, but today after reading Proverbs, I am thankful for how Your Word instructs me, and leads me in righteousness and wisdom

8.     Waffles!

9.     And the waffle-maker & other things You have blessed us with (that we now need to sell).

10. That Soo is 20 weeks pregnant already! It is hard to believe… last year at 20 weeks it felt like it had been 40, this time it feels like it has been 10 (though don’t know if Soo would quite agree).

Thank You God

Our Hong Kong experience

Soon after pregnancy, Soo started experiencing some sharp pains in her stomach accompanied by chills & aches. I took her & Halle to the emergency room, and soon after we checked in, all the pain and everything went away.

The doctor attributed it to gastritis and our doctor furthermore gave her nexium for heart-burn.

The attacks would come every couple weeks… we began to assume it was something she ate… as we cut certain items out she seemed better… she cut out all tomato-sauce based items & all spicy food… then all citrus & acidic fruits & foods… and coffee… basically, she couldn’t eat anything except rice & grilled chicken…

The problems never seemed to go away… and after some other concerns we went to the local doctor here.

We have been blessed to find an American doctor at the Red cross hospital. We knew of the OBGYN last year, but didn’t know about the regular doctor until this year. He is great.

And it is so cheap here!

Doctor’s visit: $3

Blood Tests: $3

Cat Scan, X-rays: $5

Prescription medicine: $3

Even an overnight hospital stay is only like $17

After checking out Soo, he thought gallstones… but we had to do a few more tests… there is another foreign surgeon here who could have removed the gallbladder, but some of the other tests we needed to go somewhere else.

This is part of the experience of living here… leaving the city or country to go to the hospital

so we got in contact with a hospital, set an appointment… and made plans to go to Hong Kong…

The doctor there seemed to know what he was talking about and insightful.

The scariest part for Soo was the fact she would be put under… she had a gastropacy done here with no medicine. Usually in the states they’ll at least give a local anisthetic… here they could prescribe a pill… but that was too much… so she did the gastropacy w/o anything…. But hey, she gave birth without any medicine either!

So, we went to HK and Soo got knocked out. The doctor put 4 keyholes in her, removed the stones & sucked out her gallbladder… they gave us a DVD of the surgery… but we haven’t watched it... Movie night anyone?

They brought a jar of the stones to the room… we weren’t like Joey when he got his kidney stones… but we did look at it… I counted the stones: 81!

81 stones!

That’s a lot.

Soo was also scared about Halle. How would I be able to take care of Halle & her? And what if Halle won’t eat? She doesn’t really take a bottle, and doesn’t sleep well away from home…

However, God was gracious!

We fed Halle formula for the first time & she loved it! She took the bottle without any problems.

Actually, if Soo was around, she wouldn’t want the bottle, but if not, she wanted the bottle all the time.

We were also blessed by Joy Ford. A person we didn’t know; And a person my parents had never met, only corresponded with thru email.

That is the body of Christ!

We really felt God’s hand upon us & the blessing of the body of Christ thru her.

Even though some family were not willing to help because it may be too much trouble, someone we didn’t know went out of her way to come help us & went the extra mile to bring us food & stuff we didn’t ask for, but knew would bless us.

Our true family is our family in Christ

Unfortunately because of the procedures, the day before the surgery Soo couldn’t eat anything, and the first few days after she didn’t have much of an appetite… too bad, b/c going to Hong Kong means a lot of good food…

Before we went, Soo was convinced after the surgery she’d be able to move around and do whatever she wanted… I kept on telling her we probably won’t be able to do much…. After the surgery, Soo vented she just had surgery and I was planning too much…

Still, Soo loved HK. She called it one of her favorite places.

I hated it. I would never want to go back

Hong Kong is expensive.

Hong Kong is hot.

Hong Kong is big & busy.

We were at the mid-levels, which means it was just a series of hills…. The places we were going were supposed to be walking distance… but it was all uphill, thru tons of traffic, and winding roads… and it was hot.

I never sweated so much in my life.

The taxis charged for baggage.

I don’t like big cities.

Still, Soo got to go to H&M and we bought some toys for Halle at Toys R Us.

We got Bubba Gump’s Shrimp (Amazing!), pizza, salad, Fo, Dimsum, Italian & Steak… and of course McDonalds.

The favorite though may have been going to the grocery store and getting deli meat… and of course, my favorite: Tim-Tams!

We got to go to the Peak for a little bit… though I don’t like it so much, Hong Kong is a beautiful place.

We also went to one of the small islands before the surgery as it  was much cheaper there…

Anyway… the HK trip has made me think of a lot of memories… and thoughts

1.     I miss riding mopeds in Chiangmai with Billy Van Elk

2.     I miss going to mid-year conferences in Thailand… last year we were in the states having a baby… year before we got married… and the year before it was in Malaysia…

3.     We should have planned better… or what if we got married in June, had the baby in May… at the very least I could have gone to Mid-year last year and been there when Ken came… been there for Asian friends leaving EA… and then been back this summer for CSU to hear Francis Chan & go see David crowder and Tenth Ave North… and we would have been around in the fall & I could have led the team, wouldn’t have start all over…

4.     The ferry reminded me of Turkey… could you imagine us living there.. taking the ferry every day… hm…

5.     Cold showers reminded me of WW02… taking showers outside… cool showers on hot days & warm showers on cool days outside… it was pretty sweet

6.     Of course I’m in HK, so I got to think of Kelvin Ng

7.     With all that, how about Ghandi’s 5…

8.     And I thought about the fun with Adam Anderson when I went back in 05… the girls were fun too and the students… but Adam & I bonded… got cheesesteaks and hung out weekly… joked around a lot…

9.     This place is a lot like Macinac Island in Michigan… no cars, bikes, lots of small shops… no fudge though

10. Ah, Traverse city was a fun summer… and then today Soo gave me & hug after getting out of the water… reminded me of when Chris Woods said he would accept a hug after being out in the rain and Matt Sfura jumped at the chance… what a memory…

11. This place is like a retreat center… retreats used to be so much fun!

12. Also reminded of the dream I had a few weeks ago: I was on a summer project in India… but hald the students were Americans, the other half were Indians… but we were on one summer project, but like a state-side project… students didn’t realize how lucky they were… Mitch Sheehan was the project cook… Soo & I were there- no baby I think.. Christine Major… not sure who else

13. I don’t think I’ve ever sweated so much in my life… my goodness it is hot here! And the uphill climb didn’t help.

14. Nutella tastes good when it is fresh

15. Saw Ring-tailed lemurs, which of course reminded me of Steve Tanzek & the TC project again… 15 years later & I still remember

16. I really like sitting in starbucks, drinking a frappacino & writing & reading…

17. Whenever I feel like I’m going to get a lot of reading done, I read nothing at all

18. Wow, I miss deli meats, seeing the case was like walking into heaven

19. I don’t like big cities

20. Can’t wait to get home… where at least we know where things are, and feel more freedom to be normal

Well, that’s me processing our trip…

Thankful for…

1.     Soo getting the surgery and hopefully can eat now and won’t have much pain

2.     There were no complications with the surgery or big problems created by the kidney stones

3.     Experiencing God’s grace & kindness thru the body of Christ as Joy, a complete stranger, but sister in Christ- came to help

4.     God taking care of us, getting us where we needed to go

5.     Everyone’s prayers and concerns for Soo & us

6.     God providing for all our financial needs, that even with all these expenses, we have what we need

7.     Halle taking the bottle & sleeping well while there

8.     Being able to bond with the baby more – as I got to feed Halle, helped me feel closer

9.     God using this to build Soo & I’s marriage

10. Tim-Tams

11. Good food

12. Being able to communicate with all of you!

the one with only a week left

We only have one week left in Muncie…actually like 3 days… and really just two weeks left in the states… where did the time go?

As the time winds down, I wonder

1.     what happened to the time

and

2.     how can we maximize the time left

As well as, what do I absolutely NEED to do before we go… and there is a lot of that too… but a lot we can’t do

And so…  I’m trying to

1.     call everyone I know- we’re on the same time zone or close to it at least

2.     see people and get some closure with folks

3.     read the books in the bookstores

4.     eat the food I can’t later

(Except, I’m not doing that too much… a little, but not really)

A couple weeks ago our Pastor was preaching out of Ecclesiastics and it made me think… if I knew I only had one week left to live what would I do

1.     I’d want to make sure Soo & Halle knew how much I loved them

a.     I would be spending a lot of time with them

b.     Sharing with them how much I love them

c.      And writing notes they could read later

d.     And I’d make sure everything was in order for them

2.     I’d be spending time with my family

3.     I’d be seeing friends and calling them up on the phone

4.     I’d be spending time in prayer & worship

5.     I’d eat all my favorite food- it wouldn’t matter how unhealthy or how expensive

6.     I’d be sharing Christ with my friends and even strangers

7.     I’d be writing down all sorts of thoughts I want to share with the world for their edifcation and God’s glory

8.     I’d probably still watch Purdue play

9.     I probably wouldn’t sleep much- who could? and why bother?

We probably should live every day, every week, every month as if it were our last. Our last time we might see a person… or the last opportunity we have… or y’know, live with an eternal perspective… maybe as Kris Allen (ok the Script) sings “Live like we’re dying!”

But there is a bit of a problem with that…

1.     We wouldn’t sleep

2.     We wouldn’t be taking care of our bodies that much- who would exercise or eat well?

3.     We wouldn’t be working at the development stuff that takes time – like reading

But we would

1.     Take advantage of our time with people

2.     Seize more opportunities – especially with people

3.     Not fight over petty things & resolve conflicts & speak encouraging words

4.     Not waste as much time on meaningless things

5.     Be more courageous

The way I’d like to answer the question “If you only had a week to live, what would you do?”:

Nothing different.

(Unfortunately, I can’t).

I want to live my life in such a way that honors God, exalts His glory, builds His kingdom.

I want to love others well, bless them, encourage them, challenge them in their faith, and helps them feel encouraged & loved.

I want to prioritize my family and those who love me well. And put others before myself

I want to enjoy life and all that God gives

I want to be courageous & full of faith.

I want to praise God all the time.

I want to live in light of my purpose, mission, vision, values & priorities

I want to live in light of eternity.

I want to glorify God. I want love Him & love others.

How would you spend your last week in America?

How would you spend your last week in life?

How would your life be different if you lived with an eternal perspective.

My life recently

i haven't written a personal update on the blog in a long time... but i kinda feel like it... i mean our life is kinda crazy and kinda interesting... maybe...

We're in the stretch run, winding down our time in the states. We really could be leaving anytime now.
Tentatively we're planning for the end of this month... but we don't have tickets yet... because we don't have our visa yet... because we haven't got the forms we need yet.

i may be able to reserve tickets now... but i'm not sure if we can change dates or not (though i was informed a friend did it). i would just do it by faith( this is an expression, not an actual step of faith decision)... but we thought we would have had our visa by at least now... originally thinking we would have had it a month ago. We started the process in early January... it's a long complicated story.

Nonetheless, it would be really weird if we were leaving this week... leaving Muncie at the end of this week is hard enough... where did the time go?


Well, February FLEW by. Starting with giving 2 talks in 3 days, and 3 sermons on one day... then 2 weeks in California - which certainly wasn't enough for Soo's family... and a couple quick days in Houston - and the month was gone.

We came back and packed 3 big bags to send overseas with some friends who headed overseas last week. We actually packed one bag in California, that we never unpacked, just sent straight over. So we actually packed 4 suitcases already. The 4th we'll be sending with my parents when they hopefully come in May.

Babies are so SMALL. So, why do they need SO MUCH STUFF?
Seriously. 2 bags are pretty much all her clothes, another 1 is toys, and stuff for her... and we still have a ton for her... oh and a big bag of clothes we'll need when she turns 3...

So, 3 bags already sent, we get 4 more when we go + a big carry-on & our computers... then my parents will bring 2 or 3 more... and i'm not sure if that will be enough!

i hate packing. i hate traveling.
And yet this is what our life is.

some thoughts on packing

• one of the more interesting things is repacking a bag after being gone for a couple weeks. i see all the things we never used at all. i didn't need that extra pair of jeans or a few shirts... and when Soo's parents run a laundromat, we really didn't need much clothes at all
• Even more sad is seeing things we packed and didn't use for 6 months... oh well
• i always hurt my back when i pack
• i roll all the clothes...always... and pack and repack... but pretty much every bag hits right between 47-52lbs!
• i try to pack things together too. Sometimes things have to be split up because of size/weight... but if i can i put items together
• i always try to pack one bag with stuff i might possibly need to get stuff out of... and/or think thru the stuff i want to wear so i can pack it in a bag... when we went to Houston for 3 days we tried to pack one suitcase just for Houston, i thought that would be easy. i picked out the clothes i'd wear. Soo picked out 8 outfits for herself and 12+ for Halle... hm. girls & boys are different

We really do live out of a suitcase

It was also pretty weird to be packing clothes for Halle for when she'll be one... and two... and even three... wow! Will she be that big that soon?

As for life...

• i feel like i wish i woulda done more stuff here with people and taken more advantage of my time here... but also feel like there was not much more we coulda done
• i think i may be ready to go back to East Asia... but not really. i don't miss the food. i don't miss the language. i miss the work. i miss the routine. i miss being part of a team. i get excited about seeing people again and going certain places. But i don't really miss Asia
• Soo is doing a bit better... she just seems to go from one problem to the next. Bad Morning Sickness --> Labor-->Post-labor pain-->Terrible Stomach troubles --> bug bite on finger. She has been avoiding a lot of food, which means i don't eat it either...
• been trying to read and write a lot, as well as enjoy time with friends and get ready to go

i have several blogs now
http://mookball.blogspot.com
for sports
http://mookiesmooviesandmoosic.blogspot.com
for other entertainment stuff
i want to start one for books, called mook's books
and i may even update my devo site from time to time
xanga.com/mookieslildevo

i should update that one the most, but really, i'm just writing about sports all the time

Well, that is a snapshot.

The one where goals get in the way of your goals

It's been said "The Main thing is to keep the Main thing the Main thing."

i've discovered recently that I’ve let my goals become my goal, instead of my goal.

In short, i let goals keep me from my goals.

i make goals to accomplish a bigger goal, but get so focused on the smaller goal, that i lose sight of what the big goal is.

Let me give you an example.

I want to encourage my wife.

So, I plan a date. I think thru a lot of ideas. I carefully plan out the details. I include fun, creative things and romantic things, and encouraging things and godly things. I plan it all out.

Then the date comes… and something comes up. Soo isn’t feeling well, or is tired or doesn’t appreciate something I plan.

And I get upset.

Or I push through.

Or I stress the whole time, trying to make everything work.

Initially, my goal was to encourage and love Soo.

But, then my goal became to plan the perfect date.

Or maybe it is to impress Soo.

I’ve also been known to get upset when I planning to take my parens out to eat, and they choose some dive of a restaurant to eat at.

I get lost in my goals, I lose sight of my GOAL

I think we can do this with people, we can do this with God.

The Pharisees, set up all sorts of rules, so they would be holy. They wanted to honor God.

At first.

Then, they got stuck by their rules.

They forgot why they were being so cautious. They forgot why they were doing what they were doing. They got lost in their rules, they lost sight of God.

We do similar things. We want to know God, so we read our Bible and have a Quiet time. Then, somehow, it is more important for us to have a quiet time than to connect with God.

We must sing a song, rather than worship.

We get so stuck on reading, we neglect loving.

Maybe in Evangelism too. We get so stuck on getting the message out, we forget the real goal is for the person to come to Christ- not just making a presentation. Or we’re so intent on being relevant and sensitive, we never get to the Gospel message.

The goal becomes the goal instead of the goal.

So, if you’re planning a date this Valentine’s Day, remember why you’re doing it.

If you’re spending time with God today, remember why.

Don’t let your goals, get in the way of your GOALS.

Keep the main thing, the main thing.

Mook on roots of sin

i sin.
a lot.

i annoy my wife. i upset friends. i'm a jerk.
Really, i'm an idiot. Most of the time, i don't even realize what i do. And often i think i am justified- ok, most times i think i am. Even after i know it is wrong, i feel a bit justified in my sin... that's how sinful i am.

My wife and i have conflict. And i find most of my good friends and i have conflict too.

Mark Driscol tweeted today: “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” - Samuel Butler

Maybe we don't expect anything from acquaintances, but we expect a lot from our friends.
i think that is a big reason for conflicts, expectations aren't met  and/or not clear and/or are unreal.

But i'm discovering recently more.


i let my insecurity fuel my feelings and my actions.

i allow my selfish desires become so important, that i justify my sin. i am so self-centered, i expect the other person to go out of their way to meet my needs and when they don't i get upset.

i guess i shouldn't be too surprised by this- isn't this what James 4:1-2 say
      What causes quarrels & fights among you? Is it not that your passions are at war within you. You desire and do not have, so you murduer. You covet and cannot attain so you fight & quarrel.

True.

Most of the time i am upset with someone, it is not because of them, but because of something else i am feeling or wanting.
i am so insecure and prideful, that if something they say/do or don't do strikes at that, i get upset.

i need to recognize my insecurities. And i need to recognize self-centeredness. i need to take focus off of me and what i want and look at the other person. i need to embrace humility and believe truth and believe the best in others. And give grace, when i feel like dealing out punishment.
i have no right to demand anyway.

Mook on Confessing sin (or how God is not like a puppy)

You may have heard it said there is nothing God uses more in your sanctification than marriage, and I agree.

It’s not that marriage brings out the worst in you – it just reveals it!

I see all my sin and self-centeredness and selfishness and pride…  and filth and yuck!

And last week? Well, I saw a lot of it!

Soo forgave me and she accepts me, but it was still hard.

I could still see the grief and pain on her face. I still felt distant. I still felt bad, I still felt awful.

Then I was talking to Halle… and I thought, maybe this is why we like babies and puppies so much.

See, a baby may cry for a few minutes in the middle of the night, or may not particulary like how you hold them, but… they don’t really reject you.

And a dog, well they may whine for some food while you’re eating or may dislike a spanking, but they always like you.

Even if you upset a baby or a puppy- they seem to have short memories.

They like cuddling with you. They give little smiles.

And they don’t talk back.

They don’t say “but…” or give you looks to let you know how disappointed they are.

And I began thinking, maybe this is why I like God so much.

I tell Him all my sin, and He forgives me. He embraces me. He doesn’t hold my sin over me. I don’t feel guilt or shame at all.

And while some of those things are true, I think I discovered I may need to take a new look at confessing sin…

1.     God hates sin. He abhors it.

It’s not a mistake, that He just looks over. It’s not something He can just say “What? Don’t worry about it”

I think that is how I usually picture the whole process in my head.

Like the sin doesn’t bother him that much.

2.     Sin grieves God

This goes with the above. Just because I can’t see the grief & disappoinment and sadness, doesn’t mean God isn’t grieved. Eph 4:30 exhorts us: Do not grieve the Holy Spirit.

Our sin causes God pain.

3.     God really is gentle with us, gracious with us. He forgives us & accepts us.

And this is not something to take lightly. He knows all our faults and all our sins (Psal 139). And He loves us anyway. He accepts us. He holds no record of wrongs (I Cor 13) and all fear is cast out (I John 4). He doesn’t deal harshly with us.

In the book Prodigal God, Tim Keller makes some observations on the story of the prodigal son. When the Father comes toward the son, he doesn’t say “Ew, you stink. Go wash up and I will give you a big hug.” Nor does he give him a big hug and then say wash up now and take my coat it stinks now too. He embraces him. He wants him to clean up, but not because he is disgusted by him

4.     He really does want repentance

Throughout the Old Testament, God rebukes His people. They offer sacrifices- but they are vain. Jesus rebukes the religious leaders likewise. They worship, but the hearts are far away. Words, even words of confession, are in vain if our hearts and actions aren’t impacted.

We are called to repent
When the women caught adultery is not stoned, Jesus says "Neither do i condemn you" but He also adds "Go, and sin no more."
Jesus lived among the sinners, but He never condoned what they did and certainly did not enable them to sin

5.     God longs to show mercy

Even in all His anger in the Old Testament in Jeremiah and elsewhere, He is looking for opportunities to show mercy and grace and love

6.     All of this is possible because of Jesus.

Though God hates sin, He punishes our sin on Jesus. Though sin grieves Him, He looks at the righteousness of Jesus. And Jesus stands us an advocate for us.
Thru the death of Christ, we are free from all condemnation- all guilt, all shame. Jesus took all our shame, all our guilt upon Him on the Cross! We are accepted, loved.

Jesus is now living in us and sent His Spirit so we can repent and turn to God. Jesus provides the example for us how to live and the Holy spirit is making us more like Christ

And we are shown just how much God longs to show mercy, when the Father sent His Son, and the Son freely gave His life for us

So, while God is gracious, kind- and all I need to do is confess, I am already forgiven. I shouldn’t take my sin so lightly.

I am not just talking to a wall. I am not talking to the air. I am certainly not talking to a puppy. And while Ricky Bobby may pray to baby Jesus- He is not a little baby, He is King of Kings, God Almighty. He is meek & mild, ferocious & wild. He is a gentle thunder. He is the lion & the lamb – a lion-like lamb and a lamb-like lion (as John Piper would say).

We don’t just confess to get things off our chest, and not to feel better about ourselves.

We confess to renew our relationship with God and allow the holy spirit to work in our lives and make us more like Christ and to relish in the mercy & grace & kindness & goodness & love of our Lord.

Lord, be glorified!

the thing about activities

What do you do for fun?

What activities define you?

A couple days ago, Soo & I were going through His Needs, Her Needs the other day and came across a section of listing recreational activities to do together

Soo came up with 11, I came up with 45

I was pretty specific in most instances, though I did combine some.

I went back and listed them in order… then decided to lump some together – and still had 20.

The thing is, most of them were not things I do very often or do at all anymore.

Most of my favorite things are things I used to do- when I was in college, or younger at least.

I mean, I didn’t put down the highschool stuff… but I am getting old

How often do I play basketball anymore? Do I even play catch?

Of course, some things require groups of people – like Ultimate… or even freezetag… and other things you can only do when it is warm or in certain places that have the facilities like golf, driving range, mini-golf, raquetball, ping-pong

These days what do I do for fun?

1.     sit in a coffee shop/bookstore/panera & read (or really any place and read)

2.     watch sports

3.     watch tv shows

4.     watch movies

5.     write

6.     hang out with friends (and talk about babies)

7.     Settlers of Catan

but when I look back, the most enjoyable times were

1.     talking with a small group of people about life & God (maybe at a restaurant or a starbucks)

2.     playing basketball

3.     Late night conversations (maybe at dennys or steak n shake)

4.     discussing theology

5.     Ultimate or Football

6.     Prayer & Praise

7.     Tv shows like Seinfeld, Simpsons, scrubs

8.     Watching sports

9.     Discussing tv shows or movies

10. Playing catch (baseball or football)

11. Ping-pong

12. Watching bad movies & making fun of it

This morning (the day I wrote this) I was playing with Halle and asked her if she would be more like her mom or like her dad.

As I thought about that, I wondered what activities make me stand out? What is my niche

I first thought of the friends episode where Emma says her “first word” and it was a scientific word and it made Ross so happy… then I thought of the other episode when they were talking about how jokes are Chandler’s thing

On friends –it is so easy. Chandler is all about humor & jokes. Ross is all about science & history. Joey is all about his looks (or sex) and having a good time.

Even with real life friends, it can be easy to pick out.

For Soo, she is artistic, and likes shopping and is hospitable & serving and all about food.

I can think of other friends who are all about singing praise or others who are all about theology or all about reading or all about sports.

But what about me?

I’d like to think I’m all about God- but that’s not really true.

Some may think I’m all about missions. I don’t know there either

I used to be a sportsnut – but I’m not quite there anymore (or maybe I am)

What actitvity sticks out? Wasting time? Procrastinating? Eating junk food?

Maybe the better question is: What do I want to stick out? What activities do I want to define me? How do I want to be remembered or known?

How about you?

What is your niche? What activities define you?

How do you want to be known?

And I’m curious what do you think sticks out about me?

And what do you do for fun?

Comments welcome and appreciated

11 things for 2011

i'm not big on resolutions.... but i do think setting goals is a good idea... and i like making lists... so...


11 things for 2011

1. 11 goals

1.     Read Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekial, Hosea … and perhaps the whole Bible

2.     Study Colossians, I Timothy, Exodus and Mark

3.     Get down to 159 lbs and stay in the 145-160 range (Reduce pant size to 32 waist (maybe 31))

4.     Memorize 100 verses

5.     Pray for 100 different countries… maybe 300

6.     Memorize the 4 Laws, names of the books of the Bible & our SPP in another language

7.     Run a 5K, maybe 10 K or half-marathon

8.     Learn how to cook something amazing

9.     Write/Collect at least 30 devos from Deuteronomy or Write 100 devos

10. meet with a mentor/pastor

11.  Go a week without looking at facebook, twitter or espn

2. 11 books to finish reading (as in i've already started)

1.     Shepherding a child’s heart (1)

2.     His Needs, Her Needs (2)

3.     The ME you want to be (3)

4.     Safely Home (16)

5.     The Good News we almost forgot (5)

6.     66 love letters (6)

7.     Redeeming Love (15)

8.     Trusting God

9.   Sp depression
10.  Outliers

11. An Ordinary Pastor (12)

 

3. 11 more books to read later

1.     Doctrine (7)

2.     Sex & the Supremacy of Christ (11)

3.    Leaders who Last (14)

4.     For the Fame of God’s Name (4)

5.     Marriage builder (17)

6.     Sacred Parenting (10)

7.     A God-entranced Vision for All things (13)

8.     The hole in our Gospel or Irresistible Revolution (8)
9.     Coming Back Stronger (9)

10.   Multi-Cultural Teams

11. Scandalous

( overall in parantheses)

4. 11 guys to invest time with

1.     Corey

2.     Brack

3.     Kevin

4.     Dario

5.     B

6.     Sean

7.     Ken

8.     Marc

9.     Jason

10. Mark

11. Ben

5. 11 things to do with Soo

1.     read parenting book

2.     read marriage/relationship book

3.     read Bible together/devotional

4.     pray together every day

5.     Go on a date every week

6.     Visit some place new together

7.     Pray for nations together at least once/week

8.     Go on a couple of double dates

9.     Cook together for other people

10. Take her shopping

11. Baby-sit

6. 11 things to do daily

1.     morning prayer of submission

2.     journal

3.     read Bible

4.     stretch

5.     pray for some ministry/nation/friend

6.     something fun or read or pray w/ soo

7.     interact with someone besides Soo

8.     some sort of ministry(except on Sabbath)

9.     memorize a verse

10. give thanks and/or sing praise song

11. read and/or write

7. 11 long-term goals/bucket list

1.     Write a book

2.     Write/Collect 365 devotionals

3.     Outline or write summary for every book of the Bible

4.     Go to Israel

5.     Go to Rome

6.     Go to Egypt

7.     Go to the Grand Canyon

8.     Go to Yosemite Nat Park

9.     Start a trend – or maybe get a retweet

10. Run a half-marathon… maybe marathon

11. See a toilet go the opposite direction (S. Hemisphere)

8. 11 things I’m looking forward to in 2011

1.     Our 1 year wedding anniversary

2.     Halle’s 1^st birthday

3.     Enjoying a Sabbatical: reading a bunch and writing a bunch

4.     Seeing our puppy again

5.     Showing my parents East Asia

6.     Taking a trip to Texas?

7.     Taking Soo shopping/doing something that just amazes her

8.     Halle sleeping thru the night Actually, I sleep thru the night

9.     Halle’s crawling…walking

10. Purdue winning the NCAA championship

11. Speaking at campuses

   

9. 11 things to do before heading back to E Asia

1.     spend time with my friends who live 1-2 hours away

2.     call my friends who live in the same time zone or close to it

3.     call my friends in Asia at least once

4.     go to a book store and read for chunks at a time

5.     buy stuff to take back

6.     eat skyline chilli, potbellys, TGiFridays,

7.     contact all supporters on phone or in person

8.     sit down with a Pastor/mentor

9.     share the Gospel

10. go to Purdue – a men’s basketball game & eat @xXx

11. get wings at BW3’s & watch some football

10. 11 movies I want to see

1.     HP7

2.     127 hours

3.     Dawn Treader

4.     The Fighter

5.     The Tourist

6.     Thor (May)

7.     Captain America (July)

8.     Terminator : Salvation (Dvd)

9.     Mummy 3 (Dvd)

10. Amelia (Dvd)

11. Shutter Island (DVD)

11. 11 things to eat before I leave America

1.     skyline chilli

2.     potbellys

3.     Greek food: Greek Salad

4.     Peruvian

5.     Baker’s Square

6.     Bleu cheese burgers

7.     Buffalo Wild Wings – while watching a game

8.     Gino’s East pizza

9.     TGiFridays

10. Souplantation

11. In N Out