A Devo on 2 Corinthians 1

                                                                … by the will of God

This is from 2Cor ch 1, though it could be found multiple places, but it stuck out to me as i read, just as i started to read, literally, in order to study. But i got stuck. Right away.

Paul, an apostle, by the will of God…

Paul is who he is, does what he does, has the title and position and responsibility and influence and impact - because- simply because - -  it is the will of God

He doesn’t earn this position
Or gain it…
It is not a result of his hard work
Or his personality or great gifts or strengths or talents,
Not because he is better at it than others
Or has special knowledge
Or gifted at learning and understanding and teaching.

No.

No, he has the gift of calling, this position,
This special calling

Because

The Lord called him.

It was HIS will.

He did not ascertain to it

Work super hard to it

Or have to gain the respect of others and acceptance from others.

In fact, in this instance- he has none of those things.

Even though Paul, may start out all his letters this way

IT was especially important for him to say it here, in this situation, to these people

Bc

They didn’t like him

Or didn’t respect him

Or something

They didn’t want him as a leader

Or questioned his actual authority

His apostleship

But Paul’s apostleship was not given by man

Not something he tried to attain to, or ascertain

He did not work for a degree

Or perform enough miracles

Have great numbers at teaching events

No, not because of his influence or ability.

Not because of hisknowledge or history/past

No,

He would be the least of all apostles

Least of all people

But

But God chose him.

God willed it to be

And so it was.

God’s will cannot be thwarted

Even if the peopel didn’t want to accept it

Even if Paul thought maybe he was not worthy

(see people like Moses, Gideon, etc)

God willed it
  And it was.

That;s the thing about God’s will

  It will happen.

  It cannot be stopped, thwarted

God’s will will be done

So…

So we must just submit to it, yield to it,
Let it happen

We don’t need to try to make it happen

- like Abraham who tried to help God

  - he lied about his wife to protect him instead of trusting God to take care of him

  - he tried to produce an offspring through Hagar- instead of trusting God’s good ways, His promises.

No, we can simply wait on God

 - maybe even like David- who wouldn’t strike Saul. We wait for God to fulfill His plan, His will - it is good, and it will come to pass. We just have to wait, ahve to trust.

And if God’s plans, God’s will is different than ours?

Well, then that is good too.

Why fight God’s will?

Why be like Jonah who ran the other way? Why try to force ourselves to be a king - like many of David’s sons- and thus make ourselves even enemies to God?

No, we wait.

We trust.

And we do as God wants.

We submit our wills, our desires, our hopes, our plans - to God.

He is good, 

His will is good.

His ways are good.

And He has good plans for us.

Cuz He loves us

And He is good always.

We don’t have to be apostles or leaders

Or famous

Or known

Or have impact

His will is good.

Jesus submitted to the will of God

He said not my will but they will be done.

And He went to a Cross.

He died a cruel deatj

And He saved our souls.

Paul, likewise called out to God to deliver him

But God did not.

Instead he said- my grace is sufficient for you.

And so- maybe somewhat reluctanly, who knows- Paul yielded to God

And decided to boast in weakness

For in weakness, God could show Himself strong

So thus

When he was weak he was strong.

We too can submit to the will of the Father, to the will of God

Indeed, we have no choice really.

Yet,

Yet, we can choose to submit- submit gladly- and we can experience God’s presence, know what it is like to be like Christ- and experience Him/His presence with us. Joy will come.

Jesus set aside the pain

For the joy set beforfe Him

And suffered on the Cross

But in the suffering was joy.

For there is joy in following/ in submitting to the Father.

Where there is submission

There is hope

There is peace

There is faith

There is joy.

And when we rest in God’s goodness

We experience His peace.

When we have His peace

We can have His joy.

But we must submit.

And we must rest

Even if we’re not all we want to be

Or get to do all that we hope we can do

God’s will will be done

And it is good.

Sometimes i worry

Sometimes i get frustrated

I want to do more

I want to feel more accomplished.

I want to get more done.

And yet, all that happens- happens according to God’s will.

Where i am

What i get done

Who i am

- i am by the grace of God

And it is God’s Will

So i can rest

I can trust

I can love

I can live

I can give.

Nothing to worry about.

Just live as God has called me to

And walk into the paths He set before me

Trusting Him

Walking in accordance with His ways, with truth and in love.

Let me love people

Let me love God

Let me enjoy Jesus

Let me enjoy life.

Amen

O God, You are good

And Your mercy endures forever

You are good to me

And have good plans for me

Your will be done!

Lord,

Pour out Your goodness and love upon me.

May i experience Your presence.

Be near to me.

Be close to me

And Draw me closer to You.

Use me as You wish

In accordance to Your will

To Your plans

Your good plans.

May i trust You

Submit to You

Yield to You

And yes, love You!

Lord, may i trust Your good plan

And not do more than You ask me to

And not try so hard to be something, do something

That i forget the most important thing:

To love You and to love others!

May i love my neigbor,

Love my wife

Love my kids

And may i walk with You

Day by day

Moment by moment

Every day

For Your glory, and for Your honor.

Amen

I give You this day

I give You this week

I give You this life, my life

Amen

The thing about lent (Why i practice lent)

Yesterday morning i thought it would it be a good idea to give up snacks for lent... last night my thoughts were: Lent is stupid. i want a snack!

And tonight again as i sit here wanting a swiss cake roll, i think again.
I mean why practice lent?
I don't have to.
.. And it's hard.
... And it doesn't seem to be working for the purpose i'm doing it anyway
So maybe i should just quit.

Back in the day, i would laugh at my friends for having to practice lent. But, a few years ago I decided I would practice the discipline. Until this year, i didn't really know when it ended, since i thought it was 40 days, but i guess Sunday's don't count? that still doesn't make sense to me... and i may not do it every year... but i still think the discipline could  be very healthy.

Now, i know there are some out there who say we shouldn't practice lent. That it is a bad thing.
i suppose for some, it could be bad.
i doubt there are many or any who believe practicing lent will save them. However, there may be many who think practicing lent will make God love them more  or give them higher standing with God.
In those cases, lent is not a good practice.
Or perhaps there are some who believe they should suffer, that as follower of Christ, we shouldn't enjoy things in this world. And that would be wrong too.
Or that we must do it to be a good christian.

The Bible warns against asceticism and even gives warnings about traditions (Colossians 2). Practicing these things isn't just a bad idea, it disqualifies you as you rely on yourself rather than the work of Christ.

I say I don't have to practice lent because Christ has paid for everything.  Since my identity is in Christ,  I am completely accepted and forgiven. I have the righteousness of Christ.
The Gospel frees me from restrictions, from guilt, from shame.
The work of Christ is complete. i don't have to give something up for God to love me or to be right with God. i am already.

So if i don't have to do it- i am under no obligation to do it- why do it?
Because i want to.

What? you want to deny yourself something you enjoy? you want to do something that is difficult?

Let's get this straight. i am not doing something that is difficult for difficulty's sake. That is asceticism. i am not trying to make my life more difficult. In fact, i am trying to do something good for my life. i am trying to create a pathway to make my walk with God less complicated.

Now some may say you shouldn't just give up sweets, you are supposed to give up your whole life to God.
Yes! of course. I first must give over my entire life, my entire heart to God. But that is not what this is about.

The thing is, just saying give up your entire life to God is very easy to say, and it some ways it means nothing at all. And so we need to practice this. We need to give over every area of our life to God. It is His.
We do that not by words only, but in practice & discipline.

Practicing Lent is practicing a discipline - a discipline of desire.
See it's not about giving up something, but gaining something.
i want to see Jesus more clearly, i want to be more focused on Him.
i want to experience Him more.
And i experience Him more as i turn to Him more and depend on Him more.


We don't like fasting because we think only of what we give up, when instead we should focus on what we gain.
Fasting is a good practice because it allows us to feast on God.
And when i fast from something, it reveals how much i depend on things besides God.

Right now i am struggling because i like to eat sweets when i am stressed. (After all, stressed backwards is desserts). But instead of eating a swiss cake roll, i have to turn to Jesus. Instead of eating away my sorrow, i give my sorrow to God and allow Him to turn it into joy.
Not only that, i have become used to eating. i want to develop holy habits of turning to God. i want to become used to looking to God.
And i look to it to give me a boost of energy, instead of relying on God to carry me thru.
It is crazy to think how dependent i have become on food. It is amazing how much i run to it for comfort. It is amazing how much i rely on it.

Giving something up, reveals my tendency to run to idols. (i thought perhaps we should give up showering, so we would understand how much we reek of sin- but if we practice rightly we should see it anyway).

And giving something up, allows me to run to God instead.
instead of reading facebook status over and over- i'll read the Word
instead of wasting time on tv, i can invest in savoring time with Jesus.
instead of living on bread and dessert, i live on the word that proceeds from the mouth of God.


But then there is that. Practicing lent is supposed to turn me toward Jesus, but all i can think about is the thing i am giving up. All i can think about is pop or chocolate or what i am missing out on.
So if it isn't working i should just give up.
But this is why we do it for forty days. It may not happen at first, or maybe at first it does and later days it doesn't. The point is the discipline, disciplines my heart. It serves to reveal the sinful tendency of my heart and provide a platform for change

i recommend fasting. Maybe it's not during lent, maybe it's not for 40 days. But consider a fast, consider a food fast - that you may grow your hunger for God (And read the book "Hunger for God" by John Piper while you're at it).

Lent isn't magical. Lent isn't obligation.
But the next 6 weeks or so, we can join with others in fasting to feast on God, to enjoy Him, to know Him more. It has only been one day and i already see God working in my heart.

the thing about momentum

i really want to start blogging again - but i can’t get myself to do it. i feel like there are things i want to write about, but i can’t get into the mood of actually writing…

In sports, there is the idea of momentum. People say it is a myth. i say those people are idiots. They look at stats and probability and think everything works like a machine. But a lot of sports is not based on physical ability and talent but psychology.

When player gets on a roll, they have more confidence and take shots and they get into a rhythm. They are not distracted, not over thinking - they just shoot.

“He’s on fire!” as NBA jam would say.

i’ve experienced it myself. Most of the time i am worried i might miss, and i over think. But when i am not thinking too much i am focused on the goal.

Seattle killed the Broncos in the Super Bowl. but i wonder how the game would ahve turned out if not for that safety on the first snap… i think Seattle still wins, but i think it is closer.

Momentum brings energy, confidence and flow.

Flow. Most of us don’t experience much flow any more. We get text messages or notifications on our phones. We are interrupted by friends. We are constantly thinking of the next thing to do we don’t concentrate on what we are doing.

i need flow in order to get anything done.

When i schedule my time i should have time to do everything i do, but when i look back, somehow i only get half done, and i don’t even know where the time really went.

i read somewhere when someone’s work gets interrupted it takes them 15-20 minutes to get back into flow. They check their email, check facebook, their to-do list… and try to remember what they were doing…

And momentum… if i do something one day i don’t get much out of it; but if i do it every day or every other day - i keep doing it.. and it gets better.

This comes to exercising or writing or reading or praying.

i read somewhere a challenge to wake up an hour earlier in the morning to pray. The author said the first few days or weeks you may sleep 45 minutes of that hour, may be only have 5 minutes of actual prayer at the beginning - but eventually, eventually you will begin waking up and begin praying. Your body’s mental clock will go off and you will wake up without trying. You will be more tired and go to bed earlier.

i’ve found once i start reading the Bible - i really like the Bible. Now some days i don’t get as much out of it as other days. But when i put the time to be in it, i get momentum i begin to get more out of it. And sometimes the things i read the day before begin to make more sense.

i read somewhere else if you do something for 30 days it becomes a habit.

i want to develop some holy habits.

i’ve been forcing myself to read the Bible, forciing myself to pray in the morning, forcing myself to say thanks, forcing myself to pray for nations, and making sure i pray with Soo, even if it is just for a few minutes… trying to make habits stick.

i don’t want it to be something i have to force or something on a to do list or a simple task... i want it to be a desire... but in order for it to get that way i need to birth the desire.

Discipline breeds desire. Discipline is also fueled by desire.

For me it is like drinking water vs pop. It's hard for me to get into the habit of drinking water or even drinking water at all. Water doesn't taste like anything. But if i stop drinking pop and start drinking water more, i begin to enjoy the taste of water, i begin to crave water and want more than a sugary drink. Eventually i can drink a pop from time to time and it doesn't interfere with me drinking water - because i actually enjoy water.


i have a terrible time calling friends.
If i haven't talked to a friend in a while i don't know where to start. There is so much to catch up i feel overwhelmed. So, i freeze, i don't call, i wait til i feel in a better mood, until i know what to talk about... and the conversation never comes - until i force myself to do it.
However, once i call that friend- it is so much easier to call in a week or even a few days later.
i haven't talked to a person in year and i have nothing to say. i haven't talked to the person in a few days, there is so much to say.

Consistency, flow, momentum.
i need it.

How do you develop momentum in your life?

Hope you will join me on the journey and that the posts will be encouraging.

The one with a pitch-in & a picture of grace

We had a pitch-in the other day after Church. We have gone to these several times, and only brought food once or twice. It used to be we didn't know or would forget... but now we get emails reminding us... this time we were going to bring something... but then Soo forgot one ingredient and couldn't make it... so we were going to skip, but wound up going anyway.

There could be a level of guilt or embarassment or shame since we didn't bring anything...
even though every time we have one of these pitch-ins or potlucks or whatever you call it, the pastor tells us to come even if we haven't brought anything.

In fact one time we had a guest with us. We were going to go to the potluck, but she told us we couldn't because we didn't bring anything. We tried to explain it was ok, but to her it was not ok. It is not right to go and take when you haven't brought anything.

Afterwards, i thought- isn't that the perfect picture of grace? We don't bring anything to the table, but we still receive. We don't add anything, we only take.
This last week further cemented it. We had good intentions, but failed. We still received. Or what of the meals that are brought but aren't as nice as others? Or have you ever brought something and then noticed it was so much smaller than what everyone else brought.

GRACE. We need Grace.

The potluck/pitch-in offers it. You bring small, you bring something not as good, you bring nothing at all- you still receive.

Now, some get angry. They feel like they brought a lot or they always bring stuff and others don't. They think they slaved over what they made and someone brought something that took them 5 minutes to make - is that fair? It is fair in the land of the potluck.


Jesus invites us to feast at His supper. He wants to come and eat with us. He doesn't require us to bring anything. He wants to fellowship with us. At the end of time we will go to the marriage feast of the Lamb. A glorious potluck! But it will be Him providing all the food, all the drink. We don't need to bring a bottle of wine or bring a gift. Nothing is required. Nothing we bring will add. And His spread will never end. There is enough.


i discovered later our guest who said we couldn't go because we didn't bring anything would eat meals at her church for $2. They would be $10 meals, but the church offered for $2- and that was ok. Perhaps she feels like she is paying something, so that is ok, but taking for free, not so much.

Aren't we like this with God? We want to pay something. We want to contribute something. We want to earn our keep. There is no guilt because we feel we paid something.

But the reality is there is no guilt, there is no shame because Jesus has paid it all. He provides for everything. We can freely enjoy His grace and enjoy His company. There is nothing we can pay. It is silly like offering a couple dimes for a million dollar meal.

In life, i do want to bless others. i want to provide a way for others to experience grace. And i hope i will allow myself to experience grace from others as well. And revel in the grace Jesus continually pours out on me.

The thing about habits

Why is it so easy to develop bad habits and so difficult to develop good habits?

i read Power of habit at the end of last year... an enjoyable book, but it didn't really help me develop good habits... as i look back, i've noticed since we had kids or since we came back to America or something - we have developed some really bad habits, that is we have got into some routines and patterns in our lives that we can't seem to get out of and that we just do quite naturally...

It has become 2nd nature to turn the tv on as soon as the kids go down or we have down time. It is so easy to turn on the computer and glance at facebook before doing actual work. The first thing in the morning is to check my to do list (physically or mentally) or check my email, fantasy team or facebook.

There were some good habits like praying with the kids before meals or before bed. Or reading while on the pot... but too many bad routines...

The start of this year has been better... no kids around and no work to do has helped... i am afraid what will happen once life starts happening again.

i want to start my morning with prayer. i want to practice the Daily Office- that is have multiple check-in times with God be it a short prayer, or reading a Psalm or singing a song- i want, i need more connection with God. i want to turn to God in down moments and want my default to be God's word.

i want to develop habits/patterns of thanksgiving and praise and prayer and reading.

Anyone have tips for developing good habits?
Anyone want to help me and partner with me?

And i want to write more... so i finally got my first blog entry... hopefully this will be the start of many more here in 2014... read my blog and help me keep it up!

The one in Traverse City, Mi

We're up in Traverse City, Mi for summer project.
Students arrived yesterday, but we made it up Tuesday night.
The trip had its mishaps, as to be expected with a newly potty-trained Halle, but it wasn't terrible.

i came to Traverse city as a student for project- a summer that was one of the most influential summers of my life. So, we're excited to be here to minister to students and see what God does.

We're also excited for what God will do in our lives.

Coming into the summer, Soo & i were filled with some anxieties.
When we first got our placement, i was disappointed to see how few staff were on the project, and to not recognize names or see many young kids... Then found out we still stayed in dorms here and wasn't sure how our kids would respond.

As the months went by, i found myself trying to see positives and try to encourage Soo about the summer- which maybe she didn't need.

So far, everything has been GREAT!

Being on a smaller project is SOOO good for us. i think a larger project would have been intimidating & overwhelming. A smaller staff team has allowed us to get to know people better. Every night it seems like Soo is commenting on how nice people are - not sure what she was expecting other staff to be like...

Halle has got along REALLY well with the other kids. There is a 4 yr and 2 yr old + some older kids- and she loves them all. She also has enjoyed the staff. Josiah is all smiles - most of the time at least.
We are so thankful!

Halle has done fairly well with her potty training. It's funny, when we say Halle used the potty people cheer, but when i come out and say i used the potty, Soo just laughs...

After the first couple nights, the kids have slept pretty well too.

i like that we don't have a tv in our room and we have people around us, and will have a pretty set schedule.

This may have not been what i would have planned for myself, but exactly what God wanted for us!

TC itself is beautiful. Lake Michigan is gorgeous. It is filled with cool little coffee shops, unique restaurants, parks & beaches. It should be fun for Soo & the kids.

Mostly, i'm looking forward to connecting with the Lord, developing some friendships, investing in students(including an international), sharing the Gospel, and growing.

Thanks for your prayers.

The Adventures of a typical boring family

It's been about a year since i really updated this thing... though i did try to restart my xanga once inbetween and have had many dreams of blogging again... i think it'd be good for me... but i guess life has been busy and i've been wasting time...

i used to blog a lot, about all the exciting things going on... and i think perhaps we have settled into the mundane, into our thirties or into family life...

However, i'd like to give an update- maybe not the last year, but recently...
May flew by, hard to believe it is June. Back in March, i was looking forward to May being a nice relaxing time to get a lot of things done... not really, Still, i feel like a lot happened...

This last week we potty-trained Halle.
  We used the 3-day potty-training method, suggested by a friend.
 i liked it, in that it used a lot of positive reinforcement & encouragement. And it was empowering, building ownership. We weren't to force her to use the toilet or even ask her if she needed to go(though sometimes we slipped), but just reminded her to tell us if she needed to go.
We completely ditched the diapers and put her in underwear.
Kinda crazy.

By the middle of day 2, while Halle was napping, we were trying to think what we would do when it didn't work... but soon after she woke up   - it started to click!
She's not perfect, but she's pretty close. She sometimes isn't quick enough, but she knows what she is supposed to do
... pretty soon, she will find it physically impossible to not poo in her pants.

Josiah meantime is attempting more steps and blabbering more things that sound like words.

In a month, our lives should be radically different.

Josiah celebrated his one-year birthday last month. We had a party here in Munice, then again in LA. He seemed to like the chocolate cake, though he went to bed soon after his party started in LA, and didn't even get cake. He wasn't too upset about that, but i was. i saved him a piece of cake, and just about everyday wanted to give him his piece, but he never got it...

We spent 2 weeks in LA, celebrating 3 moms on mother's day... To summarize our time: We took the 15 to the 210 to the 605 to the 5 to the 1 to the 10 to the 101...
And we ate In N Out, Mexican, Thai, Korean, Chinese, Cuban, Japanese and fresh food.

We had a good time seeing people, but it was nice to get back, the 3 hour time difference was killer jet-lag, which is crazy when you consider all the travel we used to do.

So, yes, thirties are kinda boring... but still exciting for me. We already went to LA, have a trip coming up to Colorado, next up: Traverse City, Mi.

More updates to come... hopefully