My family-friendly job

How do people do it?
How do married couples with 9-5 jobs make their marriage work?
How do pregnant couples survive?
How does a pregnant woman work?

i am so glad that my bosses are more concerned about my marriage and family than my production.

And i am so glad that i don't have a 9-5 office job that has an hour commute.

Pretty much everything i do and Soo does- is at home.
i take class at home, so my teacher comes here, i don't even have to leave for that.
We have some meetings elsewhere, but since we work together- we go to those meetings together.

i am rarely apart from Soo. So, if she gets sick, i can be there with her. IF she needs me to get something for her, i can get it. When she is throwing up, i am standing right next to her.

i don't know how others do it.

i would hate being away from Soo when she is feeling sick - which is every day.
i would hate for her to suffer alone.


Perhaps if her schedule wasn't so flexible, she would be busier, and not think about how sick she is. But i'm thankful for our flexability.
i am glad i have flexability, so if i need to take care of Soo in the middle of the afternoon, i can. And then later in the evening, i can do the work i need to do.

Sometimes i feel guilty for how much i am home, and how some balls got dropped.
But i would much rather invest in my marriage than in my ministry.
i believe Soo (and the baby) is God's #1 priority for me.

We are glad God called us to this field. When we have the baby, i will use all my vacation days and paternal leave- and basically have two months to just help take care of the baby.
i don't know how the rest of you do it. i'll send you my prayers... even with the time, we still need God. No way we do this without Him!

The thing about endurance

Whenever you are going thru a trial or a difficult time you need endurance.
What helps us endure?


If our focus or goal is the relief of pain, it will make enduring much harder.
We need something to keep us going! We need to fix our eyes on a prize. We need to see something worth all the suffering.

In pregnancy, we may just want all te sickness and pain and discomfort and inconvenience to go away. But that won't be very motivating for endurance.
But enduring all the pain for the end result of a baby, a child, a new life may help.
YEs, we want the pain, the suffering to end... but the journey is no fun then at all, it becomes misery.

(One of these days i'll write a post about Miley Cyrus' "The Climb").

As Soo & i wait for the baby, we want to wait for the baby, not just look forward to when all the pain is gone.
We don't just do ministry, so we're done, but so people know Jesus.
We don't look forward to heaven simply b/c the misery will be over and i won't have to deal with my problems, but b/c God is there.

And here is where we push it up a notch.
As i encouraged Soo to think about why she goes thru the pain- for the baby, the Lord spoke to her through Hannah in 1 Samuel and showed us, even that is too small.
It's not about the baby, it's about God's glory.

When we suffer, it is not reliving pain. Nor is it about learning a lesson. It is not about ministry growing either.

We don't endure for these benefits, but we look to the glory of God!

Moses endured suffering with the people of Israel, frsakign the riches of Egypt- for a greater reward in heaven.
Abraham left his country, for God's country.
Jesus endured the cross, for joy: our salvation -- God's glory!

ENDURE!

The one with pregnancy & a picture of the Gospel

Soo has been quite sick and experienced a lot of pain b/c of this pregnancy.

Why does pregnancy hurt so bad? Because of the fall.
Could you imagine how great it would be if Adam & Eve did not sin. Giving birth was not supposed to be painful. Wow, that would be great!

In pregnancy, we see a consequence of sin: Not being pregnant- that is a blessing- but the pain in childbirth (so i only imagine the birthing process will only be worse than what Soo feels now).

We again see our need for God.

But at the end of this, there is life. A new life. And we endure the pain and discomfort the birth of a child. Many desire this pain & discomfort because they want a child so badly. Most know the pain, but choose to have a child anyway. Why? Because of the reward, because of the new life.

Isn't this a picture of the Gospel?
Jesus endured the cross, despised the shame, went thru incredible suffering with joy - for joy, for the purpose of God, for bringing life (Heb 12:2).
Christ suffered - to the point of death- to bring us life.

So, God uses even the consequences of sin for our benefit. Though pregnancy we can know Christ more. We can know the joy in pain He had. We can appreciate His love and sacrifice for us. He is good.

The thing about pregnancy and dependency

Pregnancy teaches us a lot.
Of course it may be easier to see as i'm not the one experiencing it.

It certainly teaches us dependence.

For one, the experience is painful and uncomfortable. Soo needs to pray to ask God to help her thru the difficult time.
i can do nothing about her pain. i want to comfort her, i want to help her, i even often wish i was the one going thru it so she didn't have to. Sure there are a few things i can do to ease the pain, but there is nothing i can do to take away the pain or discomfort completely. i give her a massage, i get her food, i do some chores - mostly i pray.

More than that we can't do anything to control the health of the baby. There is a baby inside Soo, but we can't see it, we can't hold it, we just wait.
Yes, there are eating & lifestyle habits that help. But there are no guarantees. Miscarriages happen to 1 out of every 4 expectant mothers. Some can't even conceive. We want to control how things will turn out. We want to make sure everything will be good. But we still have to wait on the Lord

More than a healthy child we want a child who knows the Lord, who loves Jesus. And again this is outside of our control. We can't force our children to believe in Christ. We can teach them the Bible, take them to church, be an example, love them, give them grace, etc etc. In the end it is up to God.
We are praying for the salvation of our child. We are pleading with God. We are utterly dependent on Him!

And so is true in all of life. As much as i think i am in control or somethings are up to me or i can handle a problem or how hard i work will determine results - in fact i am dependent on God. In ministry, in my work, in marriage, in friendships/relationships, in my spiritual growth: in all aspects... i need to depend on Him lean on Him, pray to Him and trust Him in all things and for all things. He is God and i am not.

My wife's 1st mother's day

We're pregnant!

You may have been fooled when we wrote such on facebook on April Fool's day... but the trick was, we really were pregnant!

i guess the years at Michigan - my then director now has 11...12 kids... and one of my key disciples had 3 kids in his first 4 years of marriage - rubbed off on me...

We weren't trying, but we weren't not trying either...

So, we are incredibly excited and feel incredibly blessed! Children are a blessing from the Lord and we are thankful.

We are entering into the 2nd trimester now and hope Soo's morning sickness will subside.

Please join us in praying for Soo's health and the health of our future child!


Addendum: for Mother's Day i made Soo breakfast in bed, then read her a bunch of verses about the blessing of children (Psalm 127:3-5; 113:9), the responsibilities of being a parent (fr Ps 78 & Deut) and the guidance of God (Ps 121:4) and the blessing she is (Pr 31). And then prayed for her and gave her a foot massage.
i had hoped for a better evening, but made an easy dinner and watched "How to train your dragon" great flick!