the thing about forgiving sin

What should we do when someone sins?
Americans feel Christians are extremely judgmental. Yet, many other cultures feel Christians are sacrilegious.
How are we to respond to sin? How are we to act?

Most of us are primarily concerned about what others may think of us, rather than dealing with the actual sin. We’re more worried about how we may be perceived than what will help the person. We’re more worried about doing everything right to feel good about ourselves, rather than doing right to honor God.

We have replaced being loving with being nice.

Sin needs to be confronted with the Gospel.
Jesus came to seek and save the lost. Jesus came that sin may be forgiven.

But we do a horrible job forgiving sin.

We rationalize sin, understand sin, diminish sin, ignore sin, marginalize sin, accept sin. But do we really help people understand they are forgiven.

Most people aren’t looking for forgiveness. To be forgiven of sin, they need to understand they in fact did sin. They want us to say what they did was ok, it was understandable, it was acceptable. They are seeking understanding , acceptance.

But what people want and need truly is: Forgiveness.


The other day one of my friends became very angry with our bus driver. There was not enough space in the car for everyone. We tried to make it work, but it was a safety hazard and a traffic violation. He wouldn’t take us. My friend got very angry.

He realized soon he was very bitter and resentful and treated the driver in an unloving way. He said things that were rude, accusatory and insulting. What he did was wrong.

My lovely wife, perhaps the most gracious person I know, wants him to know it is ok. She tells him, “he was very rude. He could have treated you better.”

While this is a true statement, is that what we need to tell someone when they sin?
In our attempts to be gracious and help people feel better, we justify their sin.
Then they leave like they didn’t really do anything wrong. Any person could have done it. IT was a mistake. I don’t need to worry about it or think about it anymore. In fact, that other person was wrong, and it is their fault I reacted the way I did.


Does he leave the situation understanding the Gospel? Does he receive forgiveness?

How should we respond when a person sin?

I am no expert in this. When someone sins around me, I like to look the other way. I may try to change the subject per say- get us thinking about something else. Or I just sit there stunned, not sure what to do to avoid the awkwardness.

I don’t like awkwardness. I hate tension. I like when things are easy. I like when things are cordial.
These are my idols.
Cordial isn’t love. It is not God’s standard.

And I think the right thing may not be received well. Some may eat it up and fall in love with the Gospel, but don’t be surprised if many get angry at first.

1. Call sin sin. Sin needs to be acknowledged. IF there is no sin, there is nothing to forgive. There is no need for the Gospel

2. We can empathize, and even say how we may even feel the same way or do the same thing. Let them know we understand their situation and/or their feelings. “That was tough” “I can understand why you would feel that way”

this is not a step by step process, either 1 or 2 could be done first

3. Point to a better way. Point to what God calls us to: love, purity, kindness, giving, sacrifice, holiness, etc. Show how Jesus lived this out, and point out that the Holy Spirit wants to change them

4. Give the Gospel. The Gospel is not simply for a non-Christian to hear so they can accept Christ. Non-Christians and Christians alike need to hear the Gospel every day!
a. God hates the sin, and Jesus died for it
b. Christ has bore the penalty and the shame of that sin
(Romans 8:1 is a personal favorite: There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus)

5. Forgive them and let them know you love them, think highly of them, forgive them and are confident that (if they have accepted Christ) God is at work in them to make them more like Christ.
(God will never leave us or forsake us.;
He who began a good work in you, will complete it, etc)


We want to communicate kindness & love.
We want to give grace & offer forgiveness.
We need to confront the sin, and apply the Gospel to our sin, so we may rest in the love & kindness of God, rely on the Holy Spirit and rejoice in Christ.

the one after the retreat

The Retreat this weekend went well... but this isn't going to be an update, this is to let you into the world of Asian retreats

Retreats in Asia mean...
... going to the bathrooom means going to an outhouse where the pig lives
... not pooping for 50 hours
... sleeping on board on top of concrete
... having your message translated... and not sure if it is translaed correctly... and having to wait for reactions...
... going to bed at 11 and waking up at 7 (instead of going to bed at 4 and waking up at 8 like i would in the states)
... rain (or in this weekend's case: hail - but only for a few minutes)
... getting a discount at the restaurant by taking a picture with the owners
... sitting next to heat fans
... having to come up with new illustrations b/c the American ones don't work
... a back pack worth of stuff never used: Yes, i never changed below my waist- not even when i slept: i didn't change my socks, underwear or jeans all weekend... didn't shower, so didn't use the towel... only changed my shirt once... so the extra shirts weren't needed either...

i miss retreats in America... and it is different being older, married, a kid on the way... but i still had fun

My writing dreams

This week at our team dinner we had a "child" theme.
We talked about what we wanted to be when we were kids

When i was a kid i wanted to be a stuntman and never use handles on car doors - like The Dukes of Hazzard.
Later, i wanted to be a professional athlete- but soon realized that would never happen, and dreamed of being an owner or general manager... and when i realized that wouldn't happen i wanted to be a sports writer.

i did wind up with a degree in writing - but it was from Purdue...

Now i play fantasy sports- and play quite well. It is like being a GM. And sometimes i write about sports on my blogs (but have not reached the status of my friends who created boiledsports.com).

A few years ago we used to do surveys - and i'd ask people what 3 things do they want to do in life. Mine:
1. Get married
2. Have a family
3. write a book

Blogging has helped
i wrote a lot on my previous blog http://lilmookie.xanga.com/
And even wrote a bunch of devotionals http://mookieslildevo.xanga.com/ - the goal was 365, but not quite there.

i think i'm going to try writing more, maybe even start on some of books

Ideas for books
1. Everything i needed to know i could have learned in Sunday School
2. One Messed-up Missionary
3. mookie's lil devo
4. Devos from Deuteronomy
5. Jesus pooped


But how do people get their start?
How do people get big?

i'm not gonna quit my day(& night) job, but i want to pursue this a bit- i enjoy it

The one with things that energize me and drain me

So i was reading in the book leading on empty i should make a list of things which energize me as well as drain me.

So i came up with a couple lists... i tried to rank them, but who knows really... some are broad, some specific... some are so obvious maybe they shouldn't be on these lists...


Things that recharge/energize me

1. journaling/processing life/reflecting on life & God
2. Being with Soo
3. time with old friends
4. people sharing vulnerably with me
5. receiving encouragement, positive feedback
6. conversing about God/Bible/theology with one or two good friends or a small group
7. laughter
a. time with friends
b. reminiscing about a fun story
c. being silly/goofy/crazy
d. tv show or movie
e. corny jokes
f. witty comments/jokes
g. comedian
8. Discipleship/ helping people grow/understand the fullness of the gospel more/Bible/Holy Spirit, etc
9. discussing the dynamic of friendship/community/dating relationships or marriage/Christ-centered community with people
10. Praise & Worship in song
11. playing sports & hanging out afterwards
a. basketball
b. football
c. Ultimate frisbee
d. Baseball
e. golf (Sometimes)
12. Late Night Conversation & sillyness (ie denny’s, steak n shake, sonic)

Things that drain me

1. getting up early
2. Unresponsiveness during a Bible study/talk
3. difficult people
a. critical
b. negative/pessimistic
c. know-it-alls/prideful
d. not agreeable
4. conflict resolution
5. class of any sort, esp in the morning (moves up to #1 perhaps)
6. dance parties
7. decisions
8. impatient people
9. hearing others complain
10. older people
11. busyness/deadlines/assignments : in other words: work
12. traffic, lines


Soo made a list too
things that energize her include
- cooking
- taking walks
- me
- friends
- eating
things that drain her included
- reading
- meetings (esp prayer meetings)

How about you?





Here are some more things that energize me

13. Intimacy with my wife
14. being goofy/crazy/loud &obnoxious with a bunch of people
15. A good nap on the couch
16. conversing about life/following Christ with one or two good friends or a small group
17. Writing about the Bible, God, & following Christ
18. Barnes & Noble
19. Leading a good Bible study/giving a talk
20. Someone listening to me vent/process life
21. writing blogs/ writing about life situations, feelings, beliefs, theories, etc
22. Watching sports & discussing sports(ie PTI)
a. NCAA basketball: esp March Maddness
b. NCAA football
c. NFL
d. Sometimes MLB
e. (NBA does not count, unless we’re discussing how idiotic & worthless it is).
23. Making lists
24. tv shows
a. scrubs
b. Seinfeld
c. Simpsons
d. A few others
25. Some prayer meetings (but others can be draining).
26. listening to music
27. Reading a good Christian book
28. reminiscing (life, tv shows, sports, etc)
29. Serving others: like washing dishes
30. Chocolate, peanut butter
31. Waffles
32. Making new friends
33. A good EV conversation
34. my puppy
35. Movies
36. Cheese, Meat (ie Pizza, burgers, etc)
37. updating friends: twitter/fb/writing PL’s/emails
38. coffee shops/panera
39. being with friends doing anything
40. strategy games like Settlers of Catan, fbb, rummy
41. a long hot shower
42. reading leadership development books
43. cold drinks
44. good food
45. A good night’s sleep
46. Pooping
47. reading blogs/facebook/magazines
48. recreational sports
ie: ping-pong, corn hole, pool, bowling, boce ball,etc
49. video games
50. New places/adventures
51. jog/run/work-out
52. crossing things off a to do list



And some more things that drain me

13. internet problems
14. computer problems
15. achy back (not my back pain, but just needing a massage).
16. superficial friendships (not conversations, though this may be included)
17. new people
18. phone calls
19. being sick
20. swimming pools, water
21. foreign language
22. kids sometimes
23. my parents sometimes
24. cheats/scams
25. accountability/reporting to superiors
26. traveling
27. some meetings
28. being the only guy
29. big parties (K-tv)
30. mpd
31. superficial conversations
32. some prayer meetings
33. cell-phones/interruptions
34. some EV conversations
35. cleaning, laundry, etc
36. disobedient puppy
37. exercise

The thing about endurance

Whenever you are going thru a trial or a difficult time you need endurance.
What helps us endure?


If our focus or goal is the relief of pain, it will make enduring much harder.
We need something to keep us going! We need to fix our eyes on a prize. We need to see something worth all the suffering.

In pregnancy, we may just want all te sickness and pain and discomfort and inconvenience to go away. But that won't be very motivating for endurance.
But enduring all the pain for the end result of a baby, a child, a new life may help.
YEs, we want the pain, the suffering to end... but the journey is no fun then at all, it becomes misery.

(One of these days i'll write a post about Miley Cyrus' "The Climb").

As Soo & i wait for the baby, we want to wait for the baby, not just look forward to when all the pain is gone.
We don't just do ministry, so we're done, but so people know Jesus.
We don't look forward to heaven simply b/c the misery will be over and i won't have to deal with my problems, but b/c God is there.

And here is where we push it up a notch.
As i encouraged Soo to think about why she goes thru the pain- for the baby, the Lord spoke to her through Hannah in 1 Samuel and showed us, even that is too small.
It's not about the baby, it's about God's glory.

When we suffer, it is not reliving pain. Nor is it about learning a lesson. It is not about ministry growing either.

We don't endure for these benefits, but we look to the glory of God!

Moses endured suffering with the people of Israel, frsakign the riches of Egypt- for a greater reward in heaven.
Abraham left his country, for God's country.
Jesus endured the cross, for joy: our salvation -- God's glory!

ENDURE!

The one with pregnancy & a picture of the Gospel

Soo has been quite sick and experienced a lot of pain b/c of this pregnancy.

Why does pregnancy hurt so bad? Because of the fall.
Could you imagine how great it would be if Adam & Eve did not sin. Giving birth was not supposed to be painful. Wow, that would be great!

In pregnancy, we see a consequence of sin: Not being pregnant- that is a blessing- but the pain in childbirth (so i only imagine the birthing process will only be worse than what Soo feels now).

We again see our need for God.

But at the end of this, there is life. A new life. And we endure the pain and discomfort the birth of a child. Many desire this pain & discomfort because they want a child so badly. Most know the pain, but choose to have a child anyway. Why? Because of the reward, because of the new life.

Isn't this a picture of the Gospel?
Jesus endured the cross, despised the shame, went thru incredible suffering with joy - for joy, for the purpose of God, for bringing life (Heb 12:2).
Christ suffered - to the point of death- to bring us life.

So, God uses even the consequences of sin for our benefit. Though pregnancy we can know Christ more. We can know the joy in pain He had. We can appreciate His love and sacrifice for us. He is good.

The thing about pregnancy and dependency

Pregnancy teaches us a lot.
Of course it may be easier to see as i'm not the one experiencing it.

It certainly teaches us dependence.

For one, the experience is painful and uncomfortable. Soo needs to pray to ask God to help her thru the difficult time.
i can do nothing about her pain. i want to comfort her, i want to help her, i even often wish i was the one going thru it so she didn't have to. Sure there are a few things i can do to ease the pain, but there is nothing i can do to take away the pain or discomfort completely. i give her a massage, i get her food, i do some chores - mostly i pray.

More than that we can't do anything to control the health of the baby. There is a baby inside Soo, but we can't see it, we can't hold it, we just wait.
Yes, there are eating & lifestyle habits that help. But there are no guarantees. Miscarriages happen to 1 out of every 4 expectant mothers. Some can't even conceive. We want to control how things will turn out. We want to make sure everything will be good. But we still have to wait on the Lord

More than a healthy child we want a child who knows the Lord, who loves Jesus. And again this is outside of our control. We can't force our children to believe in Christ. We can teach them the Bible, take them to church, be an example, love them, give them grace, etc etc. In the end it is up to God.
We are praying for the salvation of our child. We are pleading with God. We are utterly dependent on Him!

And so is true in all of life. As much as i think i am in control or somethings are up to me or i can handle a problem or how hard i work will determine results - in fact i am dependent on God. In ministry, in my work, in marriage, in friendships/relationships, in my spiritual growth: in all aspects... i need to depend on Him lean on Him, pray to Him and trust Him in all things and for all things. He is God and i am not.