the thing about forgiving sin

What should we do when someone sins?
Americans feel Christians are extremely judgmental. Yet, many other cultures feel Christians are sacrilegious.
How are we to respond to sin? How are we to act?

Most of us are primarily concerned about what others may think of us, rather than dealing with the actual sin. We’re more worried about how we may be perceived than what will help the person. We’re more worried about doing everything right to feel good about ourselves, rather than doing right to honor God.

We have replaced being loving with being nice.

Sin needs to be confronted with the Gospel.
Jesus came to seek and save the lost. Jesus came that sin may be forgiven.

But we do a horrible job forgiving sin.

We rationalize sin, understand sin, diminish sin, ignore sin, marginalize sin, accept sin. But do we really help people understand they are forgiven.

Most people aren’t looking for forgiveness. To be forgiven of sin, they need to understand they in fact did sin. They want us to say what they did was ok, it was understandable, it was acceptable. They are seeking understanding , acceptance.

But what people want and need truly is: Forgiveness.


The other day one of my friends became very angry with our bus driver. There was not enough space in the car for everyone. We tried to make it work, but it was a safety hazard and a traffic violation. He wouldn’t take us. My friend got very angry.

He realized soon he was very bitter and resentful and treated the driver in an unloving way. He said things that were rude, accusatory and insulting. What he did was wrong.

My lovely wife, perhaps the most gracious person I know, wants him to know it is ok. She tells him, “he was very rude. He could have treated you better.”

While this is a true statement, is that what we need to tell someone when they sin?
In our attempts to be gracious and help people feel better, we justify their sin.
Then they leave like they didn’t really do anything wrong. Any person could have done it. IT was a mistake. I don’t need to worry about it or think about it anymore. In fact, that other person was wrong, and it is their fault I reacted the way I did.


Does he leave the situation understanding the Gospel? Does he receive forgiveness?

How should we respond when a person sin?

I am no expert in this. When someone sins around me, I like to look the other way. I may try to change the subject per say- get us thinking about something else. Or I just sit there stunned, not sure what to do to avoid the awkwardness.

I don’t like awkwardness. I hate tension. I like when things are easy. I like when things are cordial.
These are my idols.
Cordial isn’t love. It is not God’s standard.

And I think the right thing may not be received well. Some may eat it up and fall in love with the Gospel, but don’t be surprised if many get angry at first.

1. Call sin sin. Sin needs to be acknowledged. IF there is no sin, there is nothing to forgive. There is no need for the Gospel

2. We can empathize, and even say how we may even feel the same way or do the same thing. Let them know we understand their situation and/or their feelings. “That was tough” “I can understand why you would feel that way”

this is not a step by step process, either 1 or 2 could be done first

3. Point to a better way. Point to what God calls us to: love, purity, kindness, giving, sacrifice, holiness, etc. Show how Jesus lived this out, and point out that the Holy Spirit wants to change them

4. Give the Gospel. The Gospel is not simply for a non-Christian to hear so they can accept Christ. Non-Christians and Christians alike need to hear the Gospel every day!
a. God hates the sin, and Jesus died for it
b. Christ has bore the penalty and the shame of that sin
(Romans 8:1 is a personal favorite: There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus)

5. Forgive them and let them know you love them, think highly of them, forgive them and are confident that (if they have accepted Christ) God is at work in them to make them more like Christ.
(God will never leave us or forsake us.;
He who began a good work in you, will complete it, etc)


We want to communicate kindness & love.
We want to give grace & offer forgiveness.
We need to confront the sin, and apply the Gospel to our sin, so we may rest in the love & kindness of God, rely on the Holy Spirit and rejoice in Christ.