Mook on roots of sin

i sin.
a lot.

i annoy my wife. i upset friends. i'm a jerk.
Really, i'm an idiot. Most of the time, i don't even realize what i do. And often i think i am justified- ok, most times i think i am. Even after i know it is wrong, i feel a bit justified in my sin... that's how sinful i am.

My wife and i have conflict. And i find most of my good friends and i have conflict too.

Mark Driscol tweeted today: “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” - Samuel Butler

Maybe we don't expect anything from acquaintances, but we expect a lot from our friends.
i think that is a big reason for conflicts, expectations aren't met  and/or not clear and/or are unreal.

But i'm discovering recently more.


i let my insecurity fuel my feelings and my actions.

i allow my selfish desires become so important, that i justify my sin. i am so self-centered, i expect the other person to go out of their way to meet my needs and when they don't i get upset.

i guess i shouldn't be too surprised by this- isn't this what James 4:1-2 say
      What causes quarrels & fights among you? Is it not that your passions are at war within you. You desire and do not have, so you murduer. You covet and cannot attain so you fight & quarrel.

True.

Most of the time i am upset with someone, it is not because of them, but because of something else i am feeling or wanting.
i am so insecure and prideful, that if something they say/do or don't do strikes at that, i get upset.

i need to recognize my insecurities. And i need to recognize self-centeredness. i need to take focus off of me and what i want and look at the other person. i need to embrace humility and believe truth and believe the best in others. And give grace, when i feel like dealing out punishment.
i have no right to demand anyway.