Mook on Recongizing our wretchedness and embracing our awfulness

7, 8 years ago i came to realization: the more people get to know me, the less they like me.

i probably felt it before, but i knew it then. The more people got to know me, the less they liked me.

They began to see the opinions and not just the easy-to-get-along with guy. They saw the serious side, not just the fun side - or vice versa. They had to deal with me and my depression, not just my laughter.
Yes, the more time people spent with me, the less they wanted to. The more they got to know me, the less they liked me.

And for years i have been battling that.
i conferred it with friends. Some verified it, other tried not to give in, just to prove me wrong.
i tried to "escape" the lie. - No, it can't be true! People like me!

But i've realized, this is a losing battle.

And really, i should not be surprised by it.

Why should i be surprised by this?
See, as people get to know me more, the more they see of my filth. That is, my sin.
i can hide my sin a lil bit, but not for long.

Every part of me has been stained by the fall.
i am not utterly completely bad, but i am totally depraved.

Not only that, but i am the product of living in a fallen world.
And people who respond are also fallen.


So... the more people get to know me, the less they tend to like me.

Now, Soo and some other friends perhaps will fight against this. She will affirm and tell me all the things that are good about me.
And it is true, some people like me - even after they get to know me.

But this is just like putting white snow on top of a big pile of poop.
The sin is still there. My fallenness is there.


i know, i know, i've shared this before.

but i'll say it again.

Instead of ignoring all that yuckiness and looking for good. i need to recognize my wretchedness and embrace my awfulness and see how difficult it is to love me. i am not lovely or lovable. i am disgusting and a mess.


The wonder isn't how easy it is for people to stop liking me or get upset with me. The wonder is that i am loved at all!

This is The Gospel.
i need the Gospel.

i am wretched, but God saved me.
i am awful, but i am liked.
i am disgusting, but God delights in me.
i am difficult, but the body of Christ deals with me and helps me.

We need the Gospel in our community. We need to extend the Gospel to others. And we need to embrace the Gospel.
Stop making much of ourselves and start making much of God and His Gospel.