The thing about instruction

When I feel like I did something bad or failing at something. I don’t really want instruction or input on how to improve. I want affirmation, and to feel better about myself. Even if I really do need to improve, I’d rather live in ignorance & feel good about myself.
This is foolishness.

I was reading a review on Shepherding a Child’s heart. One person wrote- The book made me feel bad about myself and how I parent. I already feel bad, I don’t need this book telling me that.
(I also watched an episode of Everybody loves Raymond, where he goes on tv. At first they are all so happy for him. But when he goes back,t hey give him some constructive criticism. The show makes fun of him for being angry they were so nice to him at first, but shows he’d rather have that, than the feedback).

Another reviewer, was pretty humble and said I didn’t realize how much I was doing wrong. This book was very helpful.

When I mess up with my wife. I apologize and want her to forgive me and tell me I’m not a bad person.
Really, I should want her to tell me how I messed up, but she loves me anyway. She doesn’t hold it against me, she forgives me. She believes I am a good man.

I hate the learning style here. IF you mispronounce the word, your teacher will scold you and tell you “you’re wrong, you’re wrong!” They will publically shame you sometimes.
In America we affirm people. Some teachers never correct. I still remember AP English, Senior year of Highschool. IT was obvious people hadn’t read the book. As they’re asked questions, they just start making things up. The teacher has this puzzled look and can only say “That’s an interesting perspective, I’ve never thought of it that way (or heard that before).”
I do like Positive Reinforcement. I think we should use it. But I think we go too far.

It seems we vale feeling good about ourselves, more than being good.